Today's Marriage Monday is a series of interviews I did with some lovely friends of mine. I asked a bunch of girlfriends, all of whom are in very different stages in their dating/relationship lives, some questions about marriage role models. I am really excited to share their responses with you. I also "participated" in the interview, and will be posting my own answers last. I'm excited to share with you these smart, interesting women's take on marital role models and how they weigh in on our own marriages. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together! And please, feel free to answer the interview questions yourself in the comments! I'd love to hear more views on this topic! : )
I've blogged about one of my bestest friends, the Half-breed Swede quite a bit. We met in college when she was studying here in the U.S. for a year. We lived and worked in the same dorm and happened to also be taking an Indian Films class together. I knew at the end of that year that we would be friends for life because in the heat of a work scandal, she defended me. We've been friends for over ten years and haven't lived in the same COUNTRY since that year in college. She's awesome and smart and I'm super excited that she's agreed to share her views on marriage role models. Enjoy
1. Marty Created Alias?
The Half-breed Swede
2. What is your marital status? (If you are married, please tell me how long you've been married.)
Living with partner
3. Growing up, what was your view of marriage?
When I was younger, I had the romantic notion [of marriage] as we all do. However as I grew older I felt more and more that it was something to be taken very seriously and not rushed into in a fit of romanticism - I'd rather never get married than marry the wrong person and be tied to them.
4. Do you feel like you have strong role models for marriage in your life?
Not really - my mum and dad, although generally happy people, aren't well suited to each other. They're in a situation where they've been together and married so long that it's easier to just stay together. Hence the being tied to someone point in no.2. Some other marriages I know of appear healthy and strong, but you never know what goes on beneath the surface.
4a. If yes, how do you feel like they affect your marriage?
4b. If no, is/was this a concern for you? Do you wish you had better marriage role models?
In a way it's been a good experience for me seeing bad marriages, as I know to at least look out for similar situations and try and stop them from happening. If I had images of perfect marriages (which none of them are behind closed doors) then I'd have unrealistic expectations that neither myself or my husband could ever live up to.
5. Do you think having positive marriage role models is important to a successful marriage? Why or why not?
No. Every marriage is different and it is what you make it - as long as you have respected each other in your relationship, hopefully you will have discussed what it is you want from the marriage before you enter in to it, as well as the way in which you want to grow and develop together including how you'll cope with difficulties and arguments. While advice from others is sometimes helpful, sometimes not, the most important thing is your own relationship, which is unique.
Thank you so much for agreeing to share with us!
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(Photo by Theresa Scarbrough)