Marriage Mondays: Marriage Supermodels, C. Blonde

Today's Marriage Monday is a series of interviews I did with some lovely friends of mine. I asked a bunch of girlfriends, all of whom are in very different stages in their dating/relationship lives, some questions about marriage role models. I am really excited to share their responses with you. I "participated" in the interview also, and will be posting my own answers last. I'm excited to share with you these smart, interesting women's take on marital role models and how they weigh in on our own marriages. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together! And please, feel free to answer the interview questions yourself in the comments! I'd love to hear more views on this topic! : )


When I was 10 years old, I started babysitting for a family friend. She was probably around my age now at the time. I thought she was the coolest thing EVER. She turned out to be a major influence on my life and a second mother growing up. I would spend whole weekends at her house and would stay with her when my mom went out of town. I also got to watch her awesome son grow up. He turned 21 this year! Madness, right? I'm old. Anywho, C. Blonde introduced me to all kinds of awesomeness: Concrete Blonde, Cheap Trick, The Ramones. She also knew a lot about art and culture and how to be the good kind of weird in life. She designed our wedding invitations and at our wedding, she touched me so much when she burst into tears during the ceremony. When her son was about 3, she and her husband divorced. I felt super protective of him since I knew what it was like to go through a divorce. I have to tell you though, both she and her ex are amazing parents and did a great job getting him through the divorce and raising him after. C. Blonde has since remarried last year in a (get this) surprise wedding! I was so, so happy for her. I've learned so much from her over the years that reading this just felt like another thing she taught me. I hope you learn from her, too. Enjoy! (PS. My post is coming up next along with my big announcement. Yay!)

1. Marty Created Alias? C. Blonde (Because she introduced me to one of my fav. bands, Concrete Blonde...and she's what I imagine a Concrete Blonde would be. It's fitting, trust me.)

2. What is your marital status? (If you are married, please tell me how long you've been married.)
Currently married since 2010, previously married 1984-1992

3. Growing up, what was your view of marriage?
It was made clear to me that I must be thin and attractive and not have any missing limbs or facial scars or no one would marry me. That the GOAL IN LIFE is for a girl to GET MARRIED (1960's-70's) even though I had a fully liberated mother who was a business woman, all of the old goals were firmly entrenched

4. Do you feel like you have strong role models for marriage in your life?
Yes, several (not my parents though)

4a. If yes, how do you feel like they affect your marriage?
My best role model were my grandparents who were very respectful of each other. They NEVER yelled.

I've learned that to get along I need to be gentle and persuasive, kind and considerate. The role models I have (that worked) are marriages with a lot of give and take (and a lot of love and respect), no swearing or yelling.

4b. If no, is/was this a concern for you? Do you wish you had better marriage role models?
If I'd had better role models early on, I probably would not have married my first husband. When you live in "crazy" as a child you think crazy is normal and then you marry crazy -- or you marry someone who you think is filling your missing parts. I'm not sure if I would have understood it all though. It has taken a lifetime of growth and changes (and some luck) to get to where I am.

5. Do you think having positive marriage role models is important to a successful marriage? Why or why not?
Marriages are as different as the people in them. Having good role models might teach you to aspire to try to achieve to be the type of person who you admire, but at the same time a bad role model can make you want to be the opposite. I think, having a good role model for parents might lead you to naturally seek out a more stable partner (since that is what you are accustomed to) as opposed to "Crazy".


People change and a good marriage has the luck of 2 good people changing and growing together. I call it my triangle of life (and it must be balanced):

1. Relationship
2. Career/Finances
3. Health

If any one of those 3 is off balance it throws off the other two also. And they all take input and WORK! I think most people ignore their relationships thinking they will take care of themselves, but a relationship needs sustenance, time, and attention from both parties.

Thank you so much for agreeing to share with us!

Do you subscribe to Not the Marrying Kind? If not, you should! It's free and fun and it means you automatically get new posts when the blog is updated. No having to check back! Click here for more details.

(Photo by Theresa Scarbrough)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...