I've always wondered if it's important to have marriage role models. A.P. and I both come from broken homes (I love saying that. It sounds so dramatic!). And while I certainly don't think it's the worst thing if your parents are divorced, I do think it makes your own marriage harder. A.P. and I have traded war stories and I certainly don't want that to ever happen to us or any of the kids we might have someday. Being not the marrying kind, I struggled a lot with whether or not we would be successful in our marriage because we'd had such shitty role models. In the end, I chose to see it as an opportunity to learn from our parents' mistakes.
Today's Marriage Monday is a series of interviews I did with some lovely friends of mine. I asked a bunch of girlfriends, all of whom are in very different stages in their dating/relationship lives, some questions about marriage role models. I am really excited to share their responses with you. I also "participated" in the interview, and will be posting my own answers last. I'll also be making an exciting announcement in my post! I'm excited to share with you these smart, interesting women's take on marital role models and how they weigh in on our own marriages. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together! And please, feel free to answer the interview questions yourself in the comments! I'd love to hear more views on this topic! : )
Do you subscribe to Not the Marrying Kind? If not, you should! It's free and fun and it means you automatically get new posts when the blog is updated. No having to check back! Click here for more details.
Yay! can't wait to read that!
ReplyDeleteOh and speaking of role models, sometimes, when the model is too good, we feel that it's not even worth trying to follow it. Bad examples do at least leave us room for improvement.
This is a great series! I think we, as people, can learn a lot from each other through honest conversations like this.
ReplyDelete2. What is your marital status? (If you are married, please tell me how long you've been married.)
Married! For one year today!
3. Growing up, what was your view of marriage?
I think I had a pretty good view of it when I was a child, at the time when most of my parents' friends and the parents of my friends were married. I don't think it ever soured, per say, but as I got older I saw a lot more divorce, broken homes, etc. I remember once in high school when I realized that I was only one out of two kids in my large group of friends whose parents were still married to each other.
4. Do you feel like you have strong role models for marriage in your life? My parents, definitely. They've been married for 25 years, and their relationship isn't perfect- which is why I think they are such good role models. They work through things, work together, and do what needs doing. When they were newly married (maybe two years in) they went to therapy, and I think that's awesome- that they were willing to do that.
4a. If yes, how do you feel like they affect your marriage?
I think they showed me some things I definitely want to do in my marriage (travel, share finances, split chores) and some things that I don't want to do- like fight exactly like them. (Lindi still says I'm acting like my dad sometimes when we argue. Le sigh.)
4b. If no, is/was this a concern for you? Do you wish you had better marriage role models?
n/a
5. Do you think having positive marriage role models is important to a successful marriage? Why or why not?
I think it is important and preferred, but I don't think that people without good role models are doomed to failure or anything. I mostly just think it helps. :)
-Helen