This week, I'm excited to announce that Marriage Mondays will now expand to 1-2 posts each Monday! I'm working on a lot of new things around here and this is just one small step to getting those things in place. I want people to get involved in the topics I'm posting about here, as well as suggest new topics. So, please feel free to continue to comment away! But also, if you really like a post, please tweet about it, share it on facebook, or giving it a big old + on Google +. It helps get others in on the discussion. Yay!
Since we got engaged, I've had trouble with wearing my ring. There, I've said it. My engagement ring was a ring that was my grandmother's given to her by my grandfather on their 40th wedding anniversary. I'm sure if I had it appraised, it would be worth very little, but to me it was the perfect ring. It's beautiful and it meant a lot to me, as I was super, super close with my grandmother. My mother gave it to me for my 21st birthday and I knew then it would be wedding ring someday.
When A.P. and I got engaged, I had trouble wearing the ring all day. One time, I actually washed my hands at our kitchen sink at work, took the ring off, and completely forgot to put it back on. My coworker (and friend) luckily found it and gave it back to me later. Can you imagine? Eventually, I did get used to wearing my engagement ring, but getting married brought up whole new issues. The thing is, my engagement ring is actually two rings soldered together. So, when we got married, I was wearing THREE rings. It was too much. Eventually, I stopped wearing my engagement ring altogether and started wearing only my wedding band. It gets worse. Sometimes I would forget to wear that. We would go out together and A.P. would be wearing his band and I would be ring-less! It seemed so illicit!
Before we got married, we talked about what it would be like to wear rings every day. We both predicted A.P. would have a very hard time wearing his ring every day. Who knew I would be ring bare half of the time?
In general, I very rarely wear either ring. If I do, I wear my band only. And then, I wear it when I leave the house for extended periods of time. I do not, for instance, wear it when I run over to the Walgreen's or CVS, but I will wear it if we go grocery shopping. I never wear it around the house. A.P. on the other hand, never takes off his ring. Ever. For the most part, he's really great about the whole thing, though he did, of course, point out that I was wrong and it's me that's bad about wearing the ring. (Any time I'm wrong, it's like the freaking 4th of July around here. Fireworks, Star Spangled Banner, and a parade of my wrongness.) He gets that I'm not a big jewelry person. But there have been a few important times I forgot to wear it and he got a little annoyed. I'm learning to not do that anymore and to really remember to put it on when I leave the house. I've also gotten into a pattern with my wedding ring of putting it in the same place every time I take it off.
It's not about wearing the ring to show the commitment, yadda, yadda, yadda. The thing is, despite the four suitcases worth of jewelry I own (soooo not an exaggeration), I just don't like wearing jewelry. Once at a an old job, I took off a pair of earrings, set them down, and forgot about them (I'm sensing a pattern here). By the time I remembered them and went back, they were gone. Oops. Any jewelry I wear has to be taken off almost immediately when I get home.
I definitely struggle with this both when I was newly engaged and now that I'm married. People want to see your ring. When you're engaged, they want to see it and appraise it and if you're not wearing it, you're judged. "Why aren't you wearing the ring?" "Is everything okay?" "Do you not like the ring?" The stability of your marriage can also be judged on your wearing of the ring. There are definitely days when I don't wear my ring because I'll be in a rush and I forget. I feel like such a bad wife! It's, like, the one thing I have to do every day. It seems so easy for many of my married girlfriends, too. They just naturally wear their rings ALL the time. And none of them seem to complain about it either. It's times like these I really feel like I'm not the marrying kind.
Do you wear your ring all the time? Was it easy for you to start wearing a ring?
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(Photo by Theresa Scarbrough)