Name Changing

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, A Cup of Jo, and an interesting topic started brewing in the comments of this post: Did you/Are you going to change your last name when you get married? I did not. This is nothing new, really. I've gotten into separate fights with both of my parents over my unwillingness to change my last name when I got married (and that was before I even met A.P.). And maybe part of me always thought that when it actually came down to it, I would change my name. But I didn't. And I have some good reasons and some not so good reasons for doing this.

Start with the good:

I feel like I am my own person, and I have a very strong identity that, over the past 30 years, has been growing with my last name. I am not this new person with this new last name, and I wouldn't even know where to begin in constructing an identity around A.P.'s last name. I don't know if that makes sense, but my mind was blown over the possibility of becoming this new person.

I also have this weird thing about being my father's daughter. I would never tell my father this (especially having argued with him in the past over this issue), but part of the reason I kept my name was because of him. I am the youngest of five, and by a long shot. Meaning my father is no spring chicken. While most of my friends have parents in their 50s/early 60s, my mother is 72 and my father will be 81 in less than a month. I have only one other friend with this type of situation and it's because her father was married before. Anyway, ever since I can remember I was worried that my father would die before I got married. As you saw in the pictures, that turned out not to be an issue. But the new issue is whether or not he will meet our children one day. And since there is always a strong chance he won't, despite his good health, I felt obligated to keep my father's last name, rather than take on my new husband's. Plus, my father was actually this very famous athlete, and I feel like if I give up my last name, I give up that history, too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like there is a pride in keeping my father's name.

Now for the not so good reasons:

I am insanely lazy. The thought of filling out paperwork, changing loans, credit cards, bills, getting a new driver's license, etc. made my head spin. It seemed like a huge pain in the ass for something I wasn't even sure I wanted.

I feel like if the situation were reversed we wouldn't even be having this conversation. I can't imagine men would change their names as easily as women do. Which I told A.P....many times.

Despite a lifetime of growing up hating my last name, which can be made fun of so easily (I can't remember if I've ever said this before, but my name isn't really Marty J Christopher...it's a pseudonym/joke name I blog under...in other words, Christopher is NOT the name that I kept, and NOT the name that can be made fun of so easily), I hate the blandness of A.P.'s last name. It's so...all American, and that is the last thing I've felt my whole life.

Plus I accidentally Googled what my name would have been if I'd changed it. How do you accidentally Google something you ask? Well, I was actually going to Google myself and since A.P. and I share the same last name initial, Google suggested I search for this girl who has my exact name (and spelling!) if I had changed my name and taken A.P.'s name. And what turned up you ask? Just this crazy friend of Miley Cyrus who parties all the time and is like a young Lindsay Lohan. In other words, so not me.

I don't know if I made the right decision or not. It has occurred to me that when we have children one day, I will not have the same last name as them. But I hope that's more of an inspiration than a bad thing. I hope that my children learn that I am a strong person, who is independent, and that I made sure I was fully formed and knew who I was and what I wanted in life before I got married.

My other hope? That I don't ever regret my decision, try to change my name and find out I can't...like this blogger. Yikes! Talk about a bureaucratic nightmare.

So...did you/are you going to change your last name? After reading the comments out there, I feel like I'm in the minority, but I'd love to hear what people have to say.

More birdies, more dancing and the name change debate

Tomorrow's post will be interesting. I'm off to the bridal expo with a friend. I expect to find nothing that will interest me. Well, nothing that looks as amazing as this place card setup from {scissor variations}, that is! I'm obsessed! They're the cutest little place cards ever...AND TOTALLY EASY TO DIY!! Yay!

Image via {scissor variations}

Okay, enough with the birdies. Back to the dancing! We had friends over last night, so we did not practice dancing. We are hoping to do a little drunken dancing tonight, but I have a lot of work to do for my class, and since I'm going to the bridal expo tomorow, I think that I will end up working most of the afternoon and evening. Sucks. Four more weeks and then I'm done!!! Forever (or until I decide to go back for my PhD)!! Graduation!! Yay!! But that also means four more weeks of doing crap on the weekends. Boo-hiss!!

So, through random clicking, I found Joanna Goddard's blog, A Cup of Jo, which featured an interesting first dance. Okay...I didn't find it interesting at all. I thought I would, but I didn't. Am I robot??? Everyone who posted comments loved it. They all thought it was so cute. I've seen choreographed dances before, and they were funny. We probably have all seen this couple (who also appeared on Ellen). Now them I liked! It was funny, unexpected, and they didn't seem so...awkward. I don't know. Maybe I've become too cynical. I don't know. You check out the videos and tell me what you think. I think they're so awkward! I do like the Single Ladies dance, though. I thought that was pretty funny. It seems like the videographer had a thing for the lady in the bluish-green dress on the right! Haha! He keeps panning over to her.

image via A Cup of Jo

Finally...Sommer's most recent post got me thinking about my own name change issues. Years ago I got into a fight with both my mother and my father (it's a wonder they're divorced) about how I'm supposed to change my name and that's what I'm supposed to do. Please note they offered no real reason. Now it doesn't matter what my parents say, because ultimately it's my life and my decision. They already dislike half of the choices I've made, so this can just be another they'll have to live with. That being said, I always thought that A.P. was okay with the fact that I was going to keep my name. After all, it's my name. It's who I am. It's who I've been for 28 years! But the other night, A.P. asked me if I would change my name after we got married, and I again told him no. We didn't have a big fight, let's say we had a big debate, but it was still frustrating. I thought he was okay with this. I mean, does anybody else think it's odd that you change your name? My current career is based on this name. I want to be a writer someday (obviously) and I want to build that career on my family's name, not his. How do you reconcile the change? It's...odd. Truth be told, I'm not entirely convinced that men would do it if the roles were reversed.

Oh well...it's a decision to be made later. For now, there's just bad dancing and pretty place cards. Until the bridal expo post, ladies...