What Does It Mean to Be Not the Marrying Kind?

When I first started this blog, it was all about me. I called it Not the Marrying Kind because years ago, when I was fresh out of college, my mother told me I wasn't the marrying kind. It was something I never thought about and which profoundly affected me because it made me question something I'd already questioned for much of my life. I've written before about how A.P. and I are both the product of divorce. So you can imagine how much I struggled with the idea of marriage to begin with. Throw in my mother's comment and, well, in some ways I was worried it would all become a self-fulfilling prophecy that would leave me alone and sad with twenty cats and no man.

Until I met A.P., I never really thought about weddings or marriage. I'd thought a little about weddings, but nothing crazy. But when A.P. and I got serious, I started a folder on my computer. It was called "Secrets and Lies" and I filled it with wedding inspiration. It was then that I realized, maybe I am the marrying kind after all. Maybe my mother was (gasp!) wrong.

When I got married, I didn't feel like that idea of me not being the marrying kind went away. In fact, it made me rethink marriage and the traditional rules that sort of come with it. A.P. and I decided that marriage could be what we wanted it to be. For the most part, we're pretty normal, but we definitely divide our roles a little less traditionally than some.

As this blog has changed over the last couple of years, especially this year, which I think really pushed me to explore what this blog is and what it can become, I have realized that there are a lot of women out there who relate to the idea of being "not the marrying kind," even if the "not" is crossed out. There are many of us who never imagined getting married, but then we did. And not just that, but we liked having a wedding and wearing that ring (even if we don't wear anything but a little old band). And then there are many women who read who aren't married yet, but who still aren't certain if they will make the leap. Either way, I want this blog to make all of them feel welcome.

Beginning this month, I am featuring real bride submissions. If you'd like to be one of them (and I would LOVE for you to be), I encourage you to check out my submissions page. These real bride posts differ from other blogs in that I ask that you be married for a wee while before you submit *and* I ask the brides to really reflect on whether or not the concept of marriage was something they jumped into willingly or struggled with. It's, I hope, I far more interesting conversation to be having than just focusing on the pretty. And one I hope you'll join me in.

Check back next week for our first real bride, the lovely Helen of Bettencourt and Chase. Also, keep your eyes peeled this week for an amazing engagement shoot that was submitted by the talented Emilia Schobeiri and was photographed in...CHICAGO! Woot. Not to mention a few other amazing weddings I have in store for you. And please, if you know a great photographer, or a bride who has an amazing story to share, please have them contact me.

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