Even though I secretly dislike going to Florida with A.P., that trip did us some good. It wasn't relaxing, per se, and we were definitely happy to be home with the animals, and sleeping in our beds again, but we were so occupied with family and friends, and gifts and food, that there was no time to think or focus on wedding planning. It gave my mind a break, which was nice (and totally in line with half of the advice posted in response to my last blog entry).
We got back on Sunday and took it easy and then A.P. had the day off yesterday. We did wedding stuff, and everything we did took a load off my shoulders. Originally I was going to silkscreen the invites. There are only going to be about 45, and I figured it wouldn't be that hard. But finding time was becoming an issue, and truth be told, I'm not some master silkscreener. I had no idea where I was going to find the workspace since we are already running out of room (our tiny dining table is covered in wedding crap, and there are shopping bags underneath the table filled with crap for various DIY projects). So I finally made a decision that we were just going to have them printed. I didn't even care if they were going to be printed at Kinko's. I just didn't want to deal with this cloud of getting these invitations done.
So yesterday, we went to Kinko's and asked some questions about high-resolution printing and blah blah blah. We got a quote back, which was super cheap. We left feeling okay about our decision. We knew they wouldn't be that beautiful anymore and that they wouldn't be anywhere near as handcrafted as we wanted them, but they would be done, and sent and out of our hair. From Kinko's, we headed over to our friend C. Blonde's house. C. Blonde is designing our invites based on a sketch I made and some text I drew up in a font/pattern that I like. This is the other thing that was stressing me out about the invites: C. Blonde. C. Blonde is awesome, but she is kind of nutty sometimes. I had wanted to stop by and drop off the sketch, and explain to her how I envisioned our invitations, and she told me to just put the sketch in the mail. I didn't think she'd take it seriously, and so I kind of already imagined crappy invitations. Anyway, I didn't have stamps, and so I didn't end up sending out the stupid sketch. After Kinko's we were heading to Paper Source, and C. Blonde's house was right in the middle, so I figured we could just drop it off. I anticipated putting it in her hands and leaving, but she was actually really cool. She talked to me about what I wanted, and let us pick out the colors we're going to use, and yeah, I'm excited to see what her version of our vision turns out to be. Once we get the digital proof I will post it here.
The other thing that happened on our visit with C. Blonde is that she made me feel really calm about getting these invites done in time. I told her I was freaking out and that I was worried these weren't going to get done in time, and when I told her that we just needed them by the end of January, she goes, "You mean you don't need them in 2 hours?" and started laughing. She told me that was plenty of time to get everything done. She's also having them printed at her printer, which means, that while we're not back to individually handmade invitations, we will at least have high end printing. And we ditched our trip to Paper Source altogether, because we're getting it direct from the printer now through C. Blonde's connection. All in all, it was totally worthwhile for me to go drop off the sketch directly. It made me feel so much calmer about the whole ordeal of these invitations.
The other big relief is that I finally handed off some projects to A.P. One of the big struggles with A.P. doing any wedding related projects is that many of them require him to be more, ahem, creative. He's an analyst. He thinks with a math/economics brain. I can't ask the man to go to a thrift store or an antique shop and magically find objects to fit into the vision for our centerpieces that is in my head. So I was having a hard time handing off projects to him. But I finally came up with two: music and hotel. Since 1/3 of our guest list is coming in from out of town, we will be in desperate need of some hotel rooms come wedding day. I started to do research, but with all the other projects that need to get done, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get the hotel project done. Then I delegated to A.P. Makes sense for him to take on that project. After all, it's part of the planning, and it's not something you have to be creative to do. I also asked him to start compiling music lists. I'm going to find some other projects he can help me do, but I feel better that I just asked him to do specific things, rather than "just help." It's also made us less naggy with each other. We'll see how it goes, but for now, it's a weight off my shoulders.
Stay tuned...I'm posting some centerpieces, some major details about our wedding and details from my first wedding dress shopping experience! Hope everyone had a good holiday!
12.29.2009
12.21.2009
Okay, I'm Kind of Freaking Out
Seriously. What have I gotten myself into??? I haven't blogged in a week and a half because I'm overwhelmed. I'm on a diet that isn't going so well as of last Thursday because of the holidays AND because I'm on vacation for the next two weeks. This means, I'm hungry and cranky all the time. I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping. Christmas is FOUR days away. We're going to Florida for Christmas to be with A.P.'s family. Half of my wardrobe is soiled and in the hamper. We have exactly THREE months until the wedding as of this coming Sunday and we have SO. MUCH. TO. DO. So, I ask you again: WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO???
Here's the reality of the situation. I'd like to lie and tell you that wedding planning is bringing A.P. and I closer together. I'd like all you girls out there who aren't engaged yet to believe the lies and the fantasy and the commercials that show the man super into it and doing everything he is asked to do. I'd like you to believe that wedding planning is heavenly and romantic and will make you feel like you are the world's only couple in love every day of your damn life, but I'd be a huge, fat liar. And I'm already kind of fat, so I don't need to add liar to my repertoire.
The thing is, I know that many of the blogs that I read even would like you to believe that men do so much when it comes to wedding planning because it's meaningful to them, too. But here's one of those few times in my life where I cross the aisle and join my average joes, and their football jersey-wearing wives. Men hate wedding planning. Even if you've got yourself a man who is doing it, they are HATING it right now as we speak. They are texting their football watching buddies (and their football jersey-wearing wives) and griping about picking out paper for the invitations. They are just being nice. They do it because they love you.
And then there's me. I'm the girl who knows this about men. I have three brothers and a bevy of male friends. I should know this about men. And so because I know this about men, I don't push A.P. to do a ton when it comes to the wedding. Sure I bitch and moan and complain about doing everything and I passively aggressively make remarks about the fact that I asked A.P. to revise the budget spreadsheet over a week ago and I haven't gotten it yet, BUT I DON'T PUSH. I just come home from my long ass day of work, and start working my second job as a party planner. And for the most part I enjoy it. I really do. I like planning parties and always have. I love picking out small details. I love how everything comes together. And I love the actual party: the nonstop fun, the memories, the laughter.
But this time, I am in over my head. There's just too much to do, and it's coinciding with too many other big things: my first year at my new job, my family's health problems, my sister moving to India for two years, A.P.'s mother passing away, the holidays, A.P.'s 30th bday, my 29th bday, and so much more that I'm probably not considering or can anticipate. And look at what we still have left to do:
- invitations (HUGE PROJECT!)
- hotel for wedding prep and for wedding guests
- favors (HUGE PROJECT)
- rings
- still need stuff for the centerpieces and for the reception - thrifting (HUGE PROJECT)
- music lists for cocktail, ceremony, dinner and dancing
- vows
- honeymoon
- registry (HUGE PROJECT)
- photobooth props
- attire (A.P.'s and my own)
- place cards
So, I ask you one final time: WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO??? And more importantly, how do I get through it? I'm writing A.P. an email right now telling him he no longer has a choice. He simply has to help me, and pretend he likes it, because I just can't go to the store and try on his freaking suit for him, and I just can't pick where we're honeymooning. I can't hand make 50 or so invitations and mailers. Because if I do, mark my words people, I WILL LOSE MY MIND.
On the plus side, I finally figured out why people have attendants. Because you throw shit at them to do, and they do it. Perhaps that's really my issue...I should have asked people to be my "throw shit at people" people.
Here's the reality of the situation. I'd like to lie and tell you that wedding planning is bringing A.P. and I closer together. I'd like all you girls out there who aren't engaged yet to believe the lies and the fantasy and the commercials that show the man super into it and doing everything he is asked to do. I'd like you to believe that wedding planning is heavenly and romantic and will make you feel like you are the world's only couple in love every day of your damn life, but I'd be a huge, fat liar. And I'm already kind of fat, so I don't need to add liar to my repertoire.
The thing is, I know that many of the blogs that I read even would like you to believe that men do so much when it comes to wedding planning because it's meaningful to them, too. But here's one of those few times in my life where I cross the aisle and join my average joes, and their football jersey-wearing wives. Men hate wedding planning. Even if you've got yourself a man who is doing it, they are HATING it right now as we speak. They are texting their football watching buddies (and their football jersey-wearing wives) and griping about picking out paper for the invitations. They are just being nice. They do it because they love you.
And then there's me. I'm the girl who knows this about men. I have three brothers and a bevy of male friends. I should know this about men. And so because I know this about men, I don't push A.P. to do a ton when it comes to the wedding. Sure I bitch and moan and complain about doing everything and I passively aggressively make remarks about the fact that I asked A.P. to revise the budget spreadsheet over a week ago and I haven't gotten it yet, BUT I DON'T PUSH. I just come home from my long ass day of work, and start working my second job as a party planner. And for the most part I enjoy it. I really do. I like planning parties and always have. I love picking out small details. I love how everything comes together. And I love the actual party: the nonstop fun, the memories, the laughter.
But this time, I am in over my head. There's just too much to do, and it's coinciding with too many other big things: my first year at my new job, my family's health problems, my sister moving to India for two years, A.P.'s mother passing away, the holidays, A.P.'s 30th bday, my 29th bday, and so much more that I'm probably not considering or can anticipate. And look at what we still have left to do:
- invitations (HUGE PROJECT!)
- hotel for wedding prep and for wedding guests
- favors (HUGE PROJECT)
- rings
- still need stuff for the centerpieces and for the reception - thrifting (HUGE PROJECT)
- music lists for cocktail, ceremony, dinner and dancing
- vows
- honeymoon
- registry (HUGE PROJECT)
- photobooth props
- attire (A.P.'s and my own)
- place cards
So, I ask you one final time: WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO??? And more importantly, how do I get through it? I'm writing A.P. an email right now telling him he no longer has a choice. He simply has to help me, and pretend he likes it, because I just can't go to the store and try on his freaking suit for him, and I just can't pick where we're honeymooning. I can't hand make 50 or so invitations and mailers. Because if I do, mark my words people, I WILL LOSE MY MIND.
On the plus side, I finally figured out why people have attendants. Because you throw shit at them to do, and they do it. Perhaps that's really my issue...I should have asked people to be my "throw shit at people" people.
12.09.2009
What Has Two Thumbs and Is Getting a Photobooth for her Wedding?
THIS GIRL!!
The thing about having a 10K wedding in a big city is that you have to cut a lot of corners and DIY so much stuff yourself (or at least outsource those DIYs to crafty friends). One of the big debates in this household has been what we want to splurge on and what we want to save on, namely in the photography department. Though I haven't taken many photos since I started my new job, photography is important to me, and I love taking, having, and looking at photos. So I knew right away that I wanted a great photographer. Enter Theresa Scarbrough. Check and check. However, I also knew that I wanted a photobooth. I know it's becoming a cliche for weddings to have photobooths, but I have a good reason for wanting one so badly...I love photobooths!! Seriously, you should see all the photobooth pictures I have. When I travelled throughout Western Europe in college, every city I went to, I found a photobooth, and took pictures in it. If I met random people and ended up spending time with them, or if I was visiting friends, I dragged their asses in with me! Last year on A.P.'s bday, I planned a whole day of chasing down photobooths and taking our pictures in them throughout the city. Did I mention that A.P.'s bday is in January and there was snow on the ground and it was like 30 degrees out and we do NOT own a car?? Yeah, see? I'm pretty serious about photobooths.
So imagine my deep, deep disappointment when I couldn't find ANYONE who would charge under $1500 for a reception-length rental of a photobooth (and we're talking a real photobooth here, not the box that some photographers set up and 20 people can fit in there). When we went to visit Theresa Scarbrough, A.P. put the final kibosh on the photobooth (a conversation which later turned into fight, btw). I was so sad about it for so long, but finally decided that maybe I could settle for one of those boxes that some photographers set up and 20 people can fit into. I didn't want that, but I would be happy with it. In my search for a cheaper option, I happened upon Photobooth Express. Oh. My. God. AWESOME. They have totally reasonable packages and are willing to work with you on timing and things of that nature so that you can get the most out of your package. Needless to say, our wedding will have a photobooth! And it's the classic kind...updated so I have digital copies, but otherwise the same. Sweet, huh? I know we're probably still running a slight risk of going over budget, but in the long run, I know I'm going to be sooo happy. After our down payment the amount we have to scrape together is less to 1K, which makes it a little more doable, too. I figure, I can always scrape together some cash for the big dream.
The thing about having a 10K wedding in a big city is that you have to cut a lot of corners and DIY so much stuff yourself (or at least outsource those DIYs to crafty friends). One of the big debates in this household has been what we want to splurge on and what we want to save on, namely in the photography department. Though I haven't taken many photos since I started my new job, photography is important to me, and I love taking, having, and looking at photos. So I knew right away that I wanted a great photographer. Enter Theresa Scarbrough. Check and check. However, I also knew that I wanted a photobooth. I know it's becoming a cliche for weddings to have photobooths, but I have a good reason for wanting one so badly...I love photobooths!! Seriously, you should see all the photobooth pictures I have. When I travelled throughout Western Europe in college, every city I went to, I found a photobooth, and took pictures in it. If I met random people and ended up spending time with them, or if I was visiting friends, I dragged their asses in with me! Last year on A.P.'s bday, I planned a whole day of chasing down photobooths and taking our pictures in them throughout the city. Did I mention that A.P.'s bday is in January and there was snow on the ground and it was like 30 degrees out and we do NOT own a car?? Yeah, see? I'm pretty serious about photobooths.
So imagine my deep, deep disappointment when I couldn't find ANYONE who would charge under $1500 for a reception-length rental of a photobooth (and we're talking a real photobooth here, not the box that some photographers set up and 20 people can fit in there). When we went to visit Theresa Scarbrough, A.P. put the final kibosh on the photobooth (a conversation which later turned into fight, btw). I was so sad about it for so long, but finally decided that maybe I could settle for one of those boxes that some photographers set up and 20 people can fit into. I didn't want that, but I would be happy with it. In my search for a cheaper option, I happened upon Photobooth Express. Oh. My. God. AWESOME. They have totally reasonable packages and are willing to work with you on timing and things of that nature so that you can get the most out of your package. Needless to say, our wedding will have a photobooth! And it's the classic kind...updated so I have digital copies, but otherwise the same. Sweet, huh? I know we're probably still running a slight risk of going over budget, but in the long run, I know I'm going to be sooo happy. After our down payment the amount we have to scrape together is less to 1K, which makes it a little more doable, too. I figure, I can always scrape together some cash for the big dream.
12.04.2009
It's Been So Long Since We Danced
First of all, I have to say (and I know it's not humble to say this), but yay me for FINALLY getting back into my blogging routine. Maybe it was because I was sick this week and took a day off work, but I finally had time to read and catch up on a lot of my old blogs, and can I just say, it's crazy how much has changed! Some people announced that they're pregnant, and some people wrapped up their first 100 days of marriage. So much happened, and it was so nice to get back to my old "friends," that it reminded me it had been forever since I did the blogging stuff I used to do...like the ol' Friday dance. So here it is...in all it's glory: a fabulous new Friday dance. Enjoy!
First, let's give my mom props for finding this wedding recap on Project Wedding. My mom sent it to me so I could read some tips this bride had for saving on my money, and it was worth the read (though I felt like we're already doing a lot of the things she suggested). But more importantly, it was my mother's first foray into the wedding blogosphere.
This made me crack up so hard, I almost peed a little.
The goal? To make A.P. more like this husband. Tell me you don't swoon when you read this story! Plus, one of the biggest reasons I read this blog (besides the craftiness of the mom) is because those kids are so freaking adorable!
A.P. and I already have our guest book idea figured out (we'll share more on that later), but if we didn't, I'm loving this idea featured on Victoria with Roses.
I secretly hope it rains so I get the opportunity to wear some kickass wellies like this bride.
I'm loving this poster and am tempted to buy A.P. one for his wedding gift. But I think I should find something more "manly."
This isn't wedding or relationship related, but I with just a few weeks before Christmas, I need to get more into the holiday spirit, and this adorable and easily crafted advent calendar seemed like a nice holiday project.
If A.P. and I hadn't already bought our chalkboard to display our menu and program, I would have totally done this:
After all, it's super cute, and super easy and affordable. Oh well. There's always the next wedding. Just kidding.
How cute is this DIY engagement session? Our photographers rates for the engagement session are really affordable, so we tacked it on to our wedding package. But for those of you looking for engagement photos, but who can't afford a wedding photographer to take them, I'm loving the idea of asking someone you know who is a good photographer. (Plus look at the results! Fantastic!)
And finally, I don't know if it's because my dad was in the hospital this week, or because when we asked my friend Sea Shell (obviously that's not her real name) to officiate the wedding yesterday she asked me how we were going to incorporate my being Indian, but this wedding was really speaking to me this week. It made me hope I do my father proud, but at the same time, despite it's beauty, I realized that kind of wedding wouldn't be me either. And it certainly wouldn't be A.P., the whitest white boy.
First, let's give my mom props for finding this wedding recap on Project Wedding. My mom sent it to me so I could read some tips this bride had for saving on my money, and it was worth the read (though I felt like we're already doing a lot of the things she suggested). But more importantly, it was my mother's first foray into the wedding blogosphere.
This made me crack up so hard, I almost peed a little.
The goal? To make A.P. more like this husband. Tell me you don't swoon when you read this story! Plus, one of the biggest reasons I read this blog (besides the craftiness of the mom) is because those kids are so freaking adorable!
A.P. and I already have our guest book idea figured out (we'll share more on that later), but if we didn't, I'm loving this idea featured on Victoria with Roses.
I secretly hope it rains so I get the opportunity to wear some kickass wellies like this bride.
I'm loving this poster and am tempted to buy A.P. one for his wedding gift. But I think I should find something more "manly."
This isn't wedding or relationship related, but I with just a few weeks before Christmas, I need to get more into the holiday spirit, and this adorable and easily crafted advent calendar seemed like a nice holiday project.
If A.P. and I hadn't already bought our chalkboard to display our menu and program, I would have totally done this:
After all, it's super cute, and super easy and affordable. Oh well. There's always the next wedding. Just kidding.
How cute is this DIY engagement session? Our photographers rates for the engagement session are really affordable, so we tacked it on to our wedding package. But for those of you looking for engagement photos, but who can't afford a wedding photographer to take them, I'm loving the idea of asking someone you know who is a good photographer. (Plus look at the results! Fantastic!)
And finally, I don't know if it's because my dad was in the hospital this week, or because when we asked my friend Sea Shell (obviously that's not her real name) to officiate the wedding yesterday she asked me how we were going to incorporate my being Indian, but this wedding was really speaking to me this week. It made me hope I do my father proud, but at the same time, despite it's beauty, I realized that kind of wedding wouldn't be me either. And it certainly wouldn't be A.P., the whitest white boy.
12.02.2009
Oh, Lord!
So ever since Thanksgiving when I announced that we had a date, my mom has been my biggest wedding confidante. It's gotten...weird. I'm actually shocked. But that's sort of my mom. One minute, she'll tell me she never thought I was the marrying kind, and the next she'll be emailing me suggestions (which she's done...more than once, and she even found Project Wedding!) Considering that the rest of my family is getting annoying about the whole wedding (this is why I wanted a surprise wedding, people), I am actually digging that my mom is getting really involved.
But then last night happened. I sent her the place cards I want to make for the wedding. Like most older people, my mother has beautiful penmanship, and so I thought she could help out and write the names on the cards. I figured it was a harmless, little DIY project that she could help with, and that way feel involved. She was excited, and started emailing me pictures of dresses (none of which are similar to the picture I sent her of the dress I'm contemplating having made). Still, that's okay, because she's getting into it, and we're bonding over it, and it's turning out to be nice. But then when we were talking wedding crap last night, she asked me if we had figured out who was going to marry us yet. I tried like hell to blow off the question, I really did. I even think I was successful, but I still had to listen to the speech.
You see, my family is REALLY Catholic. Not my siblings and myself, just my parents, my godmother, etc. REALLY Catholic. Like, my dad's sister was a nun Catholic. And my mom goes to church every Sunday, Catholic. And my godmother goes to church more than once a week, Catholic. When my nephew got baptized a few years ago, my brother and his wife chose to have it done in a Serbian Orthodox church, since that's what she is, and my mother told me, "That's okay. The Catholic church still recognizes that." So needless to say there were a lot of questions last night as to whether or not we were going to have a priest perform the ceremony or what. I tried to get out of the conversation at first by saying, "Well, A.P.'s not Catholic." But she quickly replied, "Neither was your grandfather when he married your grandmother. Neither was your aunt when she and your uncle got married." Wow. What do you even reply to that kind of mom logic? She then asked me if A.P. would be opposed to having a priest perform the ceremony. I actually don't think he would, even though he is an atheist, but I would. I don't want a Catholic ceremony. And, what I didn't tell my mom, and what I'm not going to tell her is that we are having dinner with a friend this Thursday and asking her to perform the ceremony.
That's right. I lied to mother. If that doesn't get you sent to hell, then I really don't know what does (you know, not including things like murder). We already decided a while ago that we were going to ask a friend of mine who I've known since I was 14 to perform the ceremony. There are a lot of reasons for this decision, but the big one is that I want someone there who really knows A.P. and I, and more than any of my other friends, this friend is that person. She has hung out with just me and A.P. a ton of times in the past three and a half years. She always asks how he is doing. A couple of weeks ago, we went out with her, and she hadn't seen A.P. since his mother passed away. The first thing she did was give him a hug and tell him how sorry she was to hear about his mother passing. When I talked about getting married, she was the first person that I told, and she was so excited for us. She has helped me with so much in terms of wedding planning, and doing it all after she called off her own wedding about a year ago. She's one of my best friends, and the one who from day one made an effort to get to know A.P. and include him. I love her for that, and I know she knows both of us well enough to perform the ceremony. Plus, she lives where I live. I know there are some other friends I have who would be good for the job, too, but they don't live here and trying to coordinate that kind of thing is a big headache.
Anyway, I don't know how I'm going to break that to my mother. I'm thinking of lying my way through it. Or at least that's what I told A.P. last night. I told him that my plan right now is just to keep blowing it off when she asks about it. I'm going to keep saying, "Oh man, we haven't even talked about that." Then, the day of the wedding, I'm just going to have our friend be the officiant and not say a word. I know I'll have to answer questions, especially from my father and my godmother who are old and won't understand how that could possibly be legal, but no worries. I've got a lie for that, too. "Oh they allow people to become officers of the court now and perform wedding ceremonies. Cool, huh?" Yeah...this will work out great, right???
But then last night happened. I sent her the place cards I want to make for the wedding. Like most older people, my mother has beautiful penmanship, and so I thought she could help out and write the names on the cards. I figured it was a harmless, little DIY project that she could help with, and that way feel involved. She was excited, and started emailing me pictures of dresses (none of which are similar to the picture I sent her of the dress I'm contemplating having made). Still, that's okay, because she's getting into it, and we're bonding over it, and it's turning out to be nice. But then when we were talking wedding crap last night, she asked me if we had figured out who was going to marry us yet. I tried like hell to blow off the question, I really did. I even think I was successful, but I still had to listen to the speech.
You see, my family is REALLY Catholic. Not my siblings and myself, just my parents, my godmother, etc. REALLY Catholic. Like, my dad's sister was a nun Catholic. And my mom goes to church every Sunday, Catholic. And my godmother goes to church more than once a week, Catholic. When my nephew got baptized a few years ago, my brother and his wife chose to have it done in a Serbian Orthodox church, since that's what she is, and my mother told me, "That's okay. The Catholic church still recognizes that." So needless to say there were a lot of questions last night as to whether or not we were going to have a priest perform the ceremony or what. I tried to get out of the conversation at first by saying, "Well, A.P.'s not Catholic." But she quickly replied, "Neither was your grandfather when he married your grandmother. Neither was your aunt when she and your uncle got married." Wow. What do you even reply to that kind of mom logic? She then asked me if A.P. would be opposed to having a priest perform the ceremony. I actually don't think he would, even though he is an atheist, but I would. I don't want a Catholic ceremony. And, what I didn't tell my mom, and what I'm not going to tell her is that we are having dinner with a friend this Thursday and asking her to perform the ceremony.
That's right. I lied to mother. If that doesn't get you sent to hell, then I really don't know what does (you know, not including things like murder). We already decided a while ago that we were going to ask a friend of mine who I've known since I was 14 to perform the ceremony. There are a lot of reasons for this decision, but the big one is that I want someone there who really knows A.P. and I, and more than any of my other friends, this friend is that person. She has hung out with just me and A.P. a ton of times in the past three and a half years. She always asks how he is doing. A couple of weeks ago, we went out with her, and she hadn't seen A.P. since his mother passed away. The first thing she did was give him a hug and tell him how sorry she was to hear about his mother passing. When I talked about getting married, she was the first person that I told, and she was so excited for us. She has helped me with so much in terms of wedding planning, and doing it all after she called off her own wedding about a year ago. She's one of my best friends, and the one who from day one made an effort to get to know A.P. and include him. I love her for that, and I know she knows both of us well enough to perform the ceremony. Plus, she lives where I live. I know there are some other friends I have who would be good for the job, too, but they don't live here and trying to coordinate that kind of thing is a big headache.
Anyway, I don't know how I'm going to break that to my mother. I'm thinking of lying my way through it. Or at least that's what I told A.P. last night. I told him that my plan right now is just to keep blowing it off when she asks about it. I'm going to keep saying, "Oh man, we haven't even talked about that." Then, the day of the wedding, I'm just going to have our friend be the officiant and not say a word. I know I'll have to answer questions, especially from my father and my godmother who are old and won't understand how that could possibly be legal, but no worries. I've got a lie for that, too. "Oh they allow people to become officers of the court now and perform wedding ceremonies. Cool, huh?" Yeah...this will work out great, right???
11.26.2009
Stuffed
Happy Turkey Day! I wasn't going to blog today, since it's a holiday, but I slept in today, and I'm all amped up to have tomorrow off again. I know I should be in bed, especially since I'm going Black Friday shopping tomorrow with my nephew (a tradition we've maintained for the last three years), but I simply had to share my wedding/Thanksgiving annoyance.
A.P. and I decided not to make the Thanksgiving meal this year (we did most of it last year - see pictures below). Instead we went to my mother's. Everyone brought something simple and my mother had the turkey made by this Chinese restaurant (which I know sounds strange, but was soooo delicious). It was a simple meal, and most of my family was there. It was low key, but exactly what I needed.
Since A.P. and I finalized our date last weekend and have our venue and our photographer booked, we figured we would start telling people the good news. It's been a big issue for a lot of people, most of all for my sister. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before (and I'm too lazy to look through old posts and find out), but I should preface this story by telling you all that in between my brother being in the hospital and my mother having surgery, and A.P.'s mother passing away, my sister dropped this bomb on us that she and her husband would be moving to Bangalore for two years. When she told me this, I was excited for her, and she kept asking me if I was freaking out. I didn't get it, but then it sunk in: she was worried I'd be mad because we'd be getting married next year. I was very honest with her; I told her I was happy for her and thought it was a great opportunity, and if she could make it back for the wedding, great, and if not, oh well. She swore up and down that it was important to her and she would make it.
Since she broke that news, I've had a lot more time to process her decision and while I'm still excited for her, I've realized that, like most of the decisions my sister makes, this decision was steeped in selfishness. When she volunteered to move for her work (note the word volunteered...she was never required to do this for work), she gave no thought to the fact that we were getting married, or that my father was turning 80 and is not in the best health mentally (we think he may be showing early signs of dementia or have some sort of memory-related disorder). She didn't even, in my opinion anyway, think much of her husband, who was just getting started in a career change. She thought only about how it was a great opportunity for her career, which is all she ever thinks, talks, or worries about. She's a workaholic. That's really not an exaggeration. And as further proof, I offer you this little fact, which is that since we announced our engagement she has only talked to me about the wedding on two occasions: 1. to ask when our date was so they could finalize their plans, and 2. to ask me "why i am getting married" (she was trying to convince me to buy a car instead of having a wedding, but that's how she started to make her point).
So, I suppose it shouldn't be a shocker that she kind of put a damper on our date announcement to my family, but it still sucks, and it caused some major tension. Here's how it went down: So my whole family is sitting around the living room, and I sort of get everyone's attention and say, "So we set a date...March 27th." And before anyone else can say anything, my sister blurts out, "Are you trying to kill me?" in this super dramatic voice. I think she was trying to be funny, but it came off really, really rude. So I replied, in a slightly bitter voice, "Well, actually it's not about you, so..." Needless to say she ignored me the rest of the night, and pretty much walked away shortly after I said that to her. After she did, I said to her husband, "Is it really that bad that it's on March 27th?" He told me that it would be hard for them to come back since they're leaving 5-6 weeks before, but that I was right, it's not about them. He told me they would really try, but that it might not happen. I honestly told him that because of work, it was either then or summer, and summer was a bad option for half of our guests. We have at least 1/3 of our guests coming in from out of town! If we had a wedding during the summer, not only would we have to pay more, but so would our guests flying in from places as far as England (and now Bangalore!). It isn't fair for us to plan a wedding around two people, and disregard 18 others.
I don't know...what do you all think? Was I wrong to snap at my sister? I'm not at all saying we're changing the date...we really just can't, but should I have factored her into our decision making more? I kind of feel like it's our wedding, and we should choose a date that works for us and makes us happy, not the other way around. Is that selfish of me? I'll let you ponder that while you check out these photos of our turkey day spread last year. Hope you all had a drama-free holiday!
A.P. and I decided not to make the Thanksgiving meal this year (we did most of it last year - see pictures below). Instead we went to my mother's. Everyone brought something simple and my mother had the turkey made by this Chinese restaurant (which I know sounds strange, but was soooo delicious). It was a simple meal, and most of my family was there. It was low key, but exactly what I needed.
Since A.P. and I finalized our date last weekend and have our venue and our photographer booked, we figured we would start telling people the good news. It's been a big issue for a lot of people, most of all for my sister. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before (and I'm too lazy to look through old posts and find out), but I should preface this story by telling you all that in between my brother being in the hospital and my mother having surgery, and A.P.'s mother passing away, my sister dropped this bomb on us that she and her husband would be moving to Bangalore for two years. When she told me this, I was excited for her, and she kept asking me if I was freaking out. I didn't get it, but then it sunk in: she was worried I'd be mad because we'd be getting married next year. I was very honest with her; I told her I was happy for her and thought it was a great opportunity, and if she could make it back for the wedding, great, and if not, oh well. She swore up and down that it was important to her and she would make it.
Since she broke that news, I've had a lot more time to process her decision and while I'm still excited for her, I've realized that, like most of the decisions my sister makes, this decision was steeped in selfishness. When she volunteered to move for her work (note the word volunteered...she was never required to do this for work), she gave no thought to the fact that we were getting married, or that my father was turning 80 and is not in the best health mentally (we think he may be showing early signs of dementia or have some sort of memory-related disorder). She didn't even, in my opinion anyway, think much of her husband, who was just getting started in a career change. She thought only about how it was a great opportunity for her career, which is all she ever thinks, talks, or worries about. She's a workaholic. That's really not an exaggeration. And as further proof, I offer you this little fact, which is that since we announced our engagement she has only talked to me about the wedding on two occasions: 1. to ask when our date was so they could finalize their plans, and 2. to ask me "why i am getting married" (she was trying to convince me to buy a car instead of having a wedding, but that's how she started to make her point).
So, I suppose it shouldn't be a shocker that she kind of put a damper on our date announcement to my family, but it still sucks, and it caused some major tension. Here's how it went down: So my whole family is sitting around the living room, and I sort of get everyone's attention and say, "So we set a date...March 27th." And before anyone else can say anything, my sister blurts out, "Are you trying to kill me?" in this super dramatic voice. I think she was trying to be funny, but it came off really, really rude. So I replied, in a slightly bitter voice, "Well, actually it's not about you, so..." Needless to say she ignored me the rest of the night, and pretty much walked away shortly after I said that to her. After she did, I said to her husband, "Is it really that bad that it's on March 27th?" He told me that it would be hard for them to come back since they're leaving 5-6 weeks before, but that I was right, it's not about them. He told me they would really try, but that it might not happen. I honestly told him that because of work, it was either then or summer, and summer was a bad option for half of our guests. We have at least 1/3 of our guests coming in from out of town! If we had a wedding during the summer, not only would we have to pay more, but so would our guests flying in from places as far as England (and now Bangalore!). It isn't fair for us to plan a wedding around two people, and disregard 18 others.
I don't know...what do you all think? Was I wrong to snap at my sister? I'm not at all saying we're changing the date...we really just can't, but should I have factored her into our decision making more? I kind of feel like it's our wedding, and we should choose a date that works for us and makes us happy, not the other way around. Is that selfish of me? I'll let you ponder that while you check out these photos of our turkey day spread last year. Hope you all had a drama-free holiday!
11.25.2009
Theresa Scarbrough Rocks!
Who is Theresa Scarbrough, you ask? Why, our wedding photographer, of course!
While many of you know I've got nothing but mad love for Jeremy Lawson, and I was hoping he would be our photographer, it just wasn't meant to be. For one thing, he was already booked for the 27th of March, and for another, even though I think we would have splurged and booked him, we really couldn't afford him. Our budget is 10K for EVERYTHING in a BIG CITY. Yikes! His cheapest collection was $3600. And while I truly believe he is worth every penny, I know someone somewhere was just trying to let me down easy when I found out he was booked. Because otherwise I know I would have proceeded with booking him, and felt guilty about it the whole time, and probably for years to come.
I was pretty bummed when I found out he was booked. I almost wanted to postpone the wedding and pick a date when he was available (maybe even a month or two after the 27th so that we could save up some more money to hire him), but with my work the way it is, I really can't just take off any old time, especially since this is my first year. Gnome sayne? (Read that out loud for it to make sense). Anyway, I searched and searched and searched, and finally found our saving grace. Not only is her photography amazing, but her style is incredibly similar to Mr. Lawson's! And the decision was cemented for me when I was perusing her blog and I got to the first post, and guess who I saw a picture of? Her and her friend JEREMY LAWSON.
I'm a big believer in signs, and things feeling right. This feels right, and that was my sign from whomever that I had found our photographer. Seriously, the more I look at her photography, the more excited I get to see our wedding photos. Plus A.P. and I have decided that she's a total steal! We predict that, like Lovely, Theresa Scarbrough will cost more money in a few years. They'll both realize that they're undercharging for their awesomeness! I secretly hope that they don't ever change though. Finding these two gems has made us feel more confident about our wedding, because we know we're getting great deals for amazing services. I would never want to rob other brides who are trying to DIY stuff, take it easy, and have a beautiful wedding but not blow a down payment on a house on a wedding (though some might argue 10K is that much, but in a huge city, it's a super, super low budget for a city wedding - read: actually in the city, and not the far, far suburbs). I hope that everyone feels as lucky as we do to have found their vendors, photographers, etc. It's always nice to know that you're working with good people, especially on a day when you just want to sit back and have fun.
While many of you know I've got nothing but mad love for Jeremy Lawson, and I was hoping he would be our photographer, it just wasn't meant to be. For one thing, he was already booked for the 27th of March, and for another, even though I think we would have splurged and booked him, we really couldn't afford him. Our budget is 10K for EVERYTHING in a BIG CITY. Yikes! His cheapest collection was $3600. And while I truly believe he is worth every penny, I know someone somewhere was just trying to let me down easy when I found out he was booked. Because otherwise I know I would have proceeded with booking him, and felt guilty about it the whole time, and probably for years to come.
I was pretty bummed when I found out he was booked. I almost wanted to postpone the wedding and pick a date when he was available (maybe even a month or two after the 27th so that we could save up some more money to hire him), but with my work the way it is, I really can't just take off any old time, especially since this is my first year. Gnome sayne? (Read that out loud for it to make sense). Anyway, I searched and searched and searched, and finally found our saving grace. Not only is her photography amazing, but her style is incredibly similar to Mr. Lawson's! And the decision was cemented for me when I was perusing her blog and I got to the first post, and guess who I saw a picture of? Her and her friend JEREMY LAWSON.
I'm a big believer in signs, and things feeling right. This feels right, and that was my sign from whomever that I had found our photographer. Seriously, the more I look at her photography, the more excited I get to see our wedding photos. Plus A.P. and I have decided that she's a total steal! We predict that, like Lovely, Theresa Scarbrough will cost more money in a few years. They'll both realize that they're undercharging for their awesomeness! I secretly hope that they don't ever change though. Finding these two gems has made us feel more confident about our wedding, because we know we're getting great deals for amazing services. I would never want to rob other brides who are trying to DIY stuff, take it easy, and have a beautiful wedding but not blow a down payment on a house on a wedding (though some might argue 10K is that much, but in a huge city, it's a super, super low budget for a city wedding - read: actually in the city, and not the far, far suburbs). I hope that everyone feels as lucky as we do to have found their vendors, photographers, etc. It's always nice to know that you're working with good people, especially on a day when you just want to sit back and have fun.
11.23.2009
Things We've Got Done, Things We've Nixed
So, have I told you all that the surprise wedding is out? Among other compromises I've made (note the I, not the we), I nixed the surprise wedding aspect. I dreamed of having a surprise wedding for years. YEARS, PEOPLE!! A.P. always (lied and) told me he was on board with that. Turns out? Not so much. First he was worried that none of his family members would show. Understandable. I came up with the engagement party idea. Problem solved, right? Yeah, again, not so much. Then, he proposed to me mega-early (something which still bothers me, btw...not so much because it put a damper on the engagement party plan or anything like that, but rather because while it was a really good time for him to get engaged, it wasn't really for me. I was just starting a new job, and it's been hell on earth planning a wedding and staying alive at my job.). I again nixed the engagement party idea, in favor of what I thought was a better plan, one that was a little more foolproof. I decided we could still do the surprise, but tell people it was a rehearsal dinner and then have them show up and ta-da...wedding! But this turned into yet another argument, and I gave in. It still makes me angry that I had to compromise on something that I had wanted for so long, whereas A.P. has barely done any wedding planning and certainly hasn't had an idea of what he's wanted in terms of a wedding for anything longer than a few months, but I am learning to get over it. (Read: I'm getting my way on EVERYTHING ELSE!!! Haha!)
That being said, we've done some major things on the whole wedding front. First we officially have our date: March 27th, 2010! Assuming we don't have any emergencies, and can save the money in time (so far, so good!). We also have our location: Lovely: A Bake Shop. How adorable is the name alone??? As I told you many months ago, I found out about our location through A Practical Wedding. They featured The Maiden Metallurgist's wedding on there, and when I was looking at it, it was like seeing the location I had pictured in my head for so long. Seriously. I had always envisioned this eclectic mix of tables and chairs, and lots of vintage items at my wedding. Does this fit that bill or what? (I can't do my normal Polaroids because these are panoramics.)
Lovely will be the site of both our ceremony and our reception. We decided to have it all in one location to save money and headaches. I was born and raised Catholic, but am currently living large on my heathen status, and A.P. is an atheist (which some of my family still doesn't know about), so there was really no reason to have our ceremony in a church. Lovely has a cute little courtyard, where the ceremony will be, and the dancing after dinner. Also, since no one in my family has bothered to ask me if I need any help with the wedding (they haven't even asked me if I've done any planning...lame, huh?), I figure it's not really a big deal to them where or when or how I get married. The only thing anyone seems to be worried about in my family is if we've chosen a date (mostly because they're concerned about themselves). We met with one of the owners of Lovely this past Saturday, and despite my initial fears about having the wedding there (the owners are opening a new restaurant and were really, really slow in getting back to us about things), I left feeling really confident and happy about my choice. They were brutally honest about cost, gave us pointers about how to save money on various things, and never once made us feel like they were trying to sell us anything. We're super excited!
Stay tuned...I'm planning on making a full time comeback to blogging this week (well, except for Thanksgiving...duh...gots to eat me some turkey). I'll also reveal our photographer, and some other fun wedding details!! Yay!
That being said, we've done some major things on the whole wedding front. First we officially have our date: March 27th, 2010! Assuming we don't have any emergencies, and can save the money in time (so far, so good!). We also have our location: Lovely: A Bake Shop. How adorable is the name alone??? As I told you many months ago, I found out about our location through A Practical Wedding. They featured The Maiden Metallurgist's wedding on there, and when I was looking at it, it was like seeing the location I had pictured in my head for so long. Seriously. I had always envisioned this eclectic mix of tables and chairs, and lots of vintage items at my wedding. Does this fit that bill or what? (I can't do my normal Polaroids because these are panoramics.)
Lovely will be the site of both our ceremony and our reception. We decided to have it all in one location to save money and headaches. I was born and raised Catholic, but am currently living large on my heathen status, and A.P. is an atheist (which some of my family still doesn't know about), so there was really no reason to have our ceremony in a church. Lovely has a cute little courtyard, where the ceremony will be, and the dancing after dinner. Also, since no one in my family has bothered to ask me if I need any help with the wedding (they haven't even asked me if I've done any planning...lame, huh?), I figure it's not really a big deal to them where or when or how I get married. The only thing anyone seems to be worried about in my family is if we've chosen a date (mostly because they're concerned about themselves). We met with one of the owners of Lovely this past Saturday, and despite my initial fears about having the wedding there (the owners are opening a new restaurant and were really, really slow in getting back to us about things), I left feeling really confident and happy about my choice. They were brutally honest about cost, gave us pointers about how to save money on various things, and never once made us feel like they were trying to sell us anything. We're super excited!
Stay tuned...I'm planning on making a full time comeback to blogging this week (well, except for Thanksgiving...duh...gots to eat me some turkey). I'll also reveal our photographer, and some other fun wedding details!! Yay!
11.16.2009
The Show Must Go On
Guys...I am so, so sorry that I haven't been blogging. As I've mentioned previously, it has been a crappy past few months. It feels like ever since we got engaged, bad things started happening. What a bummer! And more importantly, what a damper on wedding planning.
First there was the job, which I love, but I'm not certain I can handle (or at least I can't continue like this). A.P. keeps telling me I work investment banker hours, but sadly, I'm not an investment banker. It never seems to lighten up, and it's kind of slowly killing me. I have no life! Seriously...not only do I not blog, but I don't even read gossip anymore. WHAT THE WHAT??!!?? I have zero time for me, and that means everyone else suffers, too. My family is wondering where I've gone. My friends have barely heard from me. So much so that it's all I can do to hold out hope that they still love me enough to come to the wedding.
Then, two weeks after starting my new job, my brother landed in the hospital. My mother, who would normally attend to his health, was in Florida having a surgery. So I had to run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to stay sane, cope at my job, and deal with a sick mother and brother.
Then, just as we finally got into the wedding planning, and were enjoying the calm after the storm, a hurricane of sorrow hit us like a ton of bricks: A.P. lost his mother. We had to attend the funeral in Florida (which also cost me near $500!), and while some wedding planning was still be done, it was mostly shelved for obvious reasons.
Now it's mid-November, we're still holding out for a March 27th wedding, and we have ZERO done. It's sad. It's pathetic. And it has us questioning if we're sane.
Can we do it? I don't know. But hopefully, now that things have FINALLY chilled a bit, I can blog and you all can help us determine if it's possible! (Or make fun of me in the comments for pretty much losing my mind...just wait until you guys see what crazy things I'm trying to get done in four months!)
First there was the job, which I love, but I'm not certain I can handle (or at least I can't continue like this). A.P. keeps telling me I work investment banker hours, but sadly, I'm not an investment banker. It never seems to lighten up, and it's kind of slowly killing me. I have no life! Seriously...not only do I not blog, but I don't even read gossip anymore. WHAT THE WHAT??!!?? I have zero time for me, and that means everyone else suffers, too. My family is wondering where I've gone. My friends have barely heard from me. So much so that it's all I can do to hold out hope that they still love me enough to come to the wedding.
Then, two weeks after starting my new job, my brother landed in the hospital. My mother, who would normally attend to his health, was in Florida having a surgery. So I had to run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to stay sane, cope at my job, and deal with a sick mother and brother.
Then, just as we finally got into the wedding planning, and were enjoying the calm after the storm, a hurricane of sorrow hit us like a ton of bricks: A.P. lost his mother. We had to attend the funeral in Florida (which also cost me near $500!), and while some wedding planning was still be done, it was mostly shelved for obvious reasons.
Now it's mid-November, we're still holding out for a March 27th wedding, and we have ZERO done. It's sad. It's pathetic. And it has us questioning if we're sane.
Can we do it? I don't know. But hopefully, now that things have FINALLY chilled a bit, I can blog and you all can help us determine if it's possible! (Or make fun of me in the comments for pretty much losing my mind...just wait until you guys see what crazy things I'm trying to get done in four months!)
10.16.2009
Even More Tragedy
Last weekend should have been a great weekend. A.P. and I were finally getting into our wedding planning: we were looking at the magazines (or he FINALLY was), we went to see the bakery we are going to try to book for the ceremony/reception, and we were feeling like things were finally looking up. My mother, who had had a surgery about a month earlier, was much closer to coming back to town (she had to go to Florida for the surgery). My brother, who had been in and out of the hospital for the past month, was finally looking, sounding and feeling better. But I should have known. Given that everything since our engagement has gone to shit, why wouldn't last weekend go to shit, too? So instead of a nice, quiet weekend, we had one filled with stress, more anxiety and drama, and tragedy.
It started on Saturday: my brother's medication was causing some serious side effects and he spent the whole day in the emergency room. Finally, he gave up and came back to our place (he had been staying with us for a couple of days). Then he went back to the emergency room the next day, got his medication organized and came back to our place again. He didn't get to our place until late, and we didn't end up going to bed until really late. The next morning at 7am, A.P.'s phone went off. Of course he didn't want to answer it, but in my experience phone calls at 7am are never good. This one proved no different...it was A.P.'s brother with the news that their mother had unexpectedly passed away. Though she was not in the best of health, her death still came as a shock.
We spent all day Sunday and all day Monday moping. We still kind of are...him more than me, of course. We will be traveling to Florida next week for the funeral. I still don't know what to feel. In some ways, I am completely heartbroken, but mostly because I won't get to know A.P.'s mother better. I really didn't know her that well, and am sad that my knowledge of her will be so limited. I'm also sad that A.P. won't have her by his side at our wedding, and that she won't ever get to meet our kids. I know he is sad about these things, too. In other ways, though, this tragedy has brought us closer together. Even though it's another stressor, and I've been snapping at him all day yesterday and today, I really got a glimpse of our ability to pull through tragedies, something we haven't done previously.
Anyway, despite my promises to get blogging again, I just wanted to let you all know that yet another terrible thing has happened that is preventing me from doing so. I do have so much to share, though! I'm hoping to make this a working weekend and bust ass and actually try to get AHEAD in my work so that I can really focus on having a life again, and one where my house is clean, my boyfriend feels loved and not like I'm giving more love and attention to my job, and one where I can go back to doing the things that I love and which make me sane (e.g. BLOGGING). We'll see if I can do it. So far, it's been a whole lot of talk...but there's always tomorrow (which is what I keep telling myself every time something crappy happens, which is almost every day at this point). Alright, I just wanted to post a quick update. Here's hoping that next time will bear better news.
It started on Saturday: my brother's medication was causing some serious side effects and he spent the whole day in the emergency room. Finally, he gave up and came back to our place (he had been staying with us for a couple of days). Then he went back to the emergency room the next day, got his medication organized and came back to our place again. He didn't get to our place until late, and we didn't end up going to bed until really late. The next morning at 7am, A.P.'s phone went off. Of course he didn't want to answer it, but in my experience phone calls at 7am are never good. This one proved no different...it was A.P.'s brother with the news that their mother had unexpectedly passed away. Though she was not in the best of health, her death still came as a shock.
We spent all day Sunday and all day Monday moping. We still kind of are...him more than me, of course. We will be traveling to Florida next week for the funeral. I still don't know what to feel. In some ways, I am completely heartbroken, but mostly because I won't get to know A.P.'s mother better. I really didn't know her that well, and am sad that my knowledge of her will be so limited. I'm also sad that A.P. won't have her by his side at our wedding, and that she won't ever get to meet our kids. I know he is sad about these things, too. In other ways, though, this tragedy has brought us closer together. Even though it's another stressor, and I've been snapping at him all day yesterday and today, I really got a glimpse of our ability to pull through tragedies, something we haven't done previously.
Anyway, despite my promises to get blogging again, I just wanted to let you all know that yet another terrible thing has happened that is preventing me from doing so. I do have so much to share, though! I'm hoping to make this a working weekend and bust ass and actually try to get AHEAD in my work so that I can really focus on having a life again, and one where my house is clean, my boyfriend feels loved and not like I'm giving more love and attention to my job, and one where I can go back to doing the things that I love and which make me sane (e.g. BLOGGING). We'll see if I can do it. So far, it's been a whole lot of talk...but there's always tomorrow (which is what I keep telling myself every time something crappy happens, which is almost every day at this point). Alright, I just wanted to post a quick update. Here's hoping that next time will bear better news.
10.10.2009
OMG!!! I'm blogging from my phone!
Hey all! It has been a long week! Tonight I volunteered to help out with a work related event and boy am I regretting it now! I am so tired! Leave it to me to over-extend myself. A.P. is probably psyched seeing as how he can listen to music really loud and do manly things, like drink beer and pass gas.
All in all the wedding planning has been slow going. Blame A.P.! Just as I predicted, that stack of wedding mags and resources has sat in the same place for the last two weeks. In all fairness, it has been a busy couple of weeks, and the other night he did take the mags to bed with him...but then he watched episodes of Breaking Bad instead. Tomorrow I think we are heading to the bakery where we want to have our wedding. It should be fun! Plus...wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to go searching through a million locations to find our wedding/reception site? I'll hopefully have pictures for you next time I blog. Though, with all that's been going on we'll see if I end up uploading them. I still haven't uploaded the pics from my trip to Colorado! Stupid new income source!
All in all the wedding planning has been slow going. Blame A.P.! Just as I predicted, that stack of wedding mags and resources has sat in the same place for the last two weeks. In all fairness, it has been a busy couple of weeks, and the other night he did take the mags to bed with him...but then he watched episodes of Breaking Bad instead. Tomorrow I think we are heading to the bakery where we want to have our wedding. It should be fun! Plus...wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to go searching through a million locations to find our wedding/reception site? I'll hopefully have pictures for you next time I blog. Though, with all that's been going on we'll see if I end up uploading them. I still haven't uploaded the pics from my trip to Colorado! Stupid new income source!
10.03.2009
Some Things About Wedding Planning That Are Making Me Sad
So, wedding planning has been slow going. I told you all about the first of many deadlines, right? Well, now a week has gone by, and A.P. hasn't done a thing. I wonder if he remembers or not. I want to remind him, but have a feeling that if I do, he will see it as me hounding him. And I always have to remember that A.P. is a procrastinator, which technically I am, too, except that I became a lot better about putting things off in grad school. Now I put things off, but not until the last minute. A.P. is still a last minute guy. This might be hard. I hope it's not a planning filled with frustration. That would not be fun.
Anyway, as the week has gone by, I've been trying to look at my old favorites: Once Wed, 100 Layer Cake, etc., as well as read some of my personal blog favs for inspiration (even if most of them are already married): A Surprise Wedding, Not a Bride Yet, etc. But time is still limited, and even hanging out with A.P., or attending one of my best friend's 30th birthday party last night makes me feel as if I'm abandoning my job, since I have soooo much work to do. Nevertheless, I try to look more on my new Google Mytouch since I can now read those blogs on my two bus, one train, hour long commute every day. And as I do that, I try to envision our wedding. Because now, it's not a dream, now, it's a real task that I have to accomplish. I try to picture what I'll wear, what we'll eat, what our tables will look like, what A.P. will wear, how nervous/excited we'll be, how happy we'll be when we don't have to be the center of attention anymore and everyone is just partying. I picture who will be there, too: my friends, my family, A.P.'s friends, and his family. And that's when I get sad. I get sad because this year, while it has been a year of excitement, has also been a year of loss. This will go down as one of the best years of my life (finished grad school, new job, engagement), but it has also marked the demise of one of my closest friendships and a relationship with one of my siblings.
First, the friend. I haven't blogged about it because until recently I was still too upset about the whole thing. I probably still won't go into too much detail, but needless to say my best friend of 10 years, the person I love more than A.P. (probably because let's face it, I don't have to live with her), and the person I refer to as my soulmate (that's what we call each other) basically has been distancing herself from me for the last two years. This year I finally accepted it and grieved and have been trying to move on. But it's been hard. I never thought I would tell my best friend that I was engaged via email with a bunch of people I don't talk to all the time. I never thought that I would tell my best friend about getting my dream job via email with a bunch of people I don't talk to all the time. I guess the big thing is that she has become a person I don't talk to all the time. And it fucking sucks.
In the past our friendship has had some downturns, but about two years ago it got pretty bad. We used to email all the time and talk on the phone a couple of times a week. Then it became email all the time, but talk on the phone every week/week and a half. Then it became email a few times a week and talk on the phone once a month. Then she would just not call me for a month or two. Each time we became more distant I tried to bring it to her attention. Sometimes in a positive way, sometimes by starting a fight. It would always get better, but then taper off again. This year I always felt like I was emailing her all the time and she was barely emailing me. She doesn't call me unless we arrange it, and even then, she usually would forget. It sucked. Finally I looked through my email (I know this might sound OCD, but I actually did it because A.P. kept telling me it was probably in my head) and discovered that this year I had sent her something like 150 ORIGINAL emails, and she had sent me 25 or so, and half of those were mass emails. I decided to stop communicating with her as much. In my head I imagined that she would email me or call me and ask why she hadn't heard from me as much, but I knew she wouldn't. She proved me right.
The other loss is one of my siblings. For something like ten years, I've been fighting this one. One of my brothers, who I always felt I was close with, pretty much stopped communicating with our family years ago. I still talked to him on occasion, though. Then almost three years ago, his wife got pregnant and they had a little boy. After that, I saw them a lot more. But it was bullshit. The wife would call me, and my brother would ignore me. It was ridiculous. Needless to say, I finally decided that I was sick of trying. I cut off all communication with them. I didn't invite them to my grad school graduation party, and I didn't tell them I got engaged. I also don't plan on inviting them to my wedding. I know it sounds silly, but I'm leaving out A LOT. It's basically been years of small hurts leading me to believe that by continuing to talk to them, I was encouraging his behavior. So I stopped.
Anyway, the point is, when I do all this wedding planning in my head, while I picture all my friends and family who will be there, I also picture my best friend who will be there, but who I know will be there more out of obligation than genuine happiness. And I realize there will be a missing member of my own family. It makes me sad. And then I get bummed out about having a wedding at all. Did anyone else experience this kind of thing? Did anyone else while planning on who WILL be there, got sad about who WON'T be there?
Anyway, as the week has gone by, I've been trying to look at my old favorites: Once Wed, 100 Layer Cake, etc., as well as read some of my personal blog favs for inspiration (even if most of them are already married): A Surprise Wedding, Not a Bride Yet, etc. But time is still limited, and even hanging out with A.P., or attending one of my best friend's 30th birthday party last night makes me feel as if I'm abandoning my job, since I have soooo much work to do. Nevertheless, I try to look more on my new Google Mytouch since I can now read those blogs on my two bus, one train, hour long commute every day. And as I do that, I try to envision our wedding. Because now, it's not a dream, now, it's a real task that I have to accomplish. I try to picture what I'll wear, what we'll eat, what our tables will look like, what A.P. will wear, how nervous/excited we'll be, how happy we'll be when we don't have to be the center of attention anymore and everyone is just partying. I picture who will be there, too: my friends, my family, A.P.'s friends, and his family. And that's when I get sad. I get sad because this year, while it has been a year of excitement, has also been a year of loss. This will go down as one of the best years of my life (finished grad school, new job, engagement), but it has also marked the demise of one of my closest friendships and a relationship with one of my siblings.
First, the friend. I haven't blogged about it because until recently I was still too upset about the whole thing. I probably still won't go into too much detail, but needless to say my best friend of 10 years, the person I love more than A.P. (probably because let's face it, I don't have to live with her), and the person I refer to as my soulmate (that's what we call each other) basically has been distancing herself from me for the last two years. This year I finally accepted it and grieved and have been trying to move on. But it's been hard. I never thought I would tell my best friend that I was engaged via email with a bunch of people I don't talk to all the time. I never thought that I would tell my best friend about getting my dream job via email with a bunch of people I don't talk to all the time. I guess the big thing is that she has become a person I don't talk to all the time. And it fucking sucks.
In the past our friendship has had some downturns, but about two years ago it got pretty bad. We used to email all the time and talk on the phone a couple of times a week. Then it became email all the time, but talk on the phone every week/week and a half. Then it became email a few times a week and talk on the phone once a month. Then she would just not call me for a month or two. Each time we became more distant I tried to bring it to her attention. Sometimes in a positive way, sometimes by starting a fight. It would always get better, but then taper off again. This year I always felt like I was emailing her all the time and she was barely emailing me. She doesn't call me unless we arrange it, and even then, she usually would forget. It sucked. Finally I looked through my email (I know this might sound OCD, but I actually did it because A.P. kept telling me it was probably in my head) and discovered that this year I had sent her something like 150 ORIGINAL emails, and she had sent me 25 or so, and half of those were mass emails. I decided to stop communicating with her as much. In my head I imagined that she would email me or call me and ask why she hadn't heard from me as much, but I knew she wouldn't. She proved me right.
The other loss is one of my siblings. For something like ten years, I've been fighting this one. One of my brothers, who I always felt I was close with, pretty much stopped communicating with our family years ago. I still talked to him on occasion, though. Then almost three years ago, his wife got pregnant and they had a little boy. After that, I saw them a lot more. But it was bullshit. The wife would call me, and my brother would ignore me. It was ridiculous. Needless to say, I finally decided that I was sick of trying. I cut off all communication with them. I didn't invite them to my grad school graduation party, and I didn't tell them I got engaged. I also don't plan on inviting them to my wedding. I know it sounds silly, but I'm leaving out A LOT. It's basically been years of small hurts leading me to believe that by continuing to talk to them, I was encouraging his behavior. So I stopped.
Anyway, the point is, when I do all this wedding planning in my head, while I picture all my friends and family who will be there, I also picture my best friend who will be there, but who I know will be there more out of obligation than genuine happiness. And I realize there will be a missing member of my own family. It makes me sad. And then I get bummed out about having a wedding at all. Did anyone else experience this kind of thing? Did anyone else while planning on who WILL be there, got sad about who WON'T be there?
9.30.2009
Back From the Dead
As Britney Spears would say, "Hey y'all!" Man alive am I tired!! I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life. I imagine it's a small fraction of what new parents feel, only if you're a new parent, I feel like you get to sit more. My new job has me working late, working at home, AND working on my feet quite a bit. Needless to say I come home so exhausted each day, and of course too exhausted to blog. Then I had a ton of family drama, and blogging seemed...selfish. But now the fam's doing better and I'm getting into more of a routine with work. So, back to blogging more regularly. I can't quite promise my regular features quite yet, because I barely even have time to check the blogs I love, let alone put together a weekly roundup, but I'm hoping that in a couple of weeks, I'll be able to get back to dancing on Fridays.
In the mean time, I do have some wedding planning news. For one thing, A.P. and I have begun to rethink our original excuse to get people to show up for the surprise wedding. Because there's no way I can have a new job and plan a wedding in a short enough amount of time to pull off the engagement party pretense. So we came up with a new idea, and one that I think will serve us better in the long run. Here's the thing, the surprise wedding thing was something A.P. always liked, but he was always worried about making sure his family was going to come in town from Florida. He was really worried they wouldn't come into town for an engagement party, especially his one brother who is a bit cash poor these days with a new baby and a new dream job for which he had to take a slight pay cut. So here is the new plan: have a slightly longer engagement, and plan on marrying in spring. Then, have a fake wedding reflected on the invitation, get everyone in town for said fake wedding, and actually get married at the rehearsal dinner the night before. This way, his family will for sure be in town, I still get my surprise wedding, and yeah, I'm still happy, and he's happier. I think it will be better this way, too. We have also been tossing around the idea of having a relaxed "after-party" the next night (the night we would have as our supposed wedding night) at our place. So it's like a fun-filled, surprise wedding weekend. Plus we get to hang with our friends and family and enjoy a bunch of time with them. The more I think about it, the happier I am about the whole thing. I feel more confident that we won't be excluding A.P.'s family in any way, and I envision this awesome, super-chill, wedding weekend wherein I wear a pretty dress, and jeans. Does it get any better than that?
So we've thought that part out, but now we need to figure out other details, like a date, and an idea of what our budget will be. I gave A.P. the old stack of wedding mags, the binder I started keeping with crap I picked up at the Bridal Expo, and had sent to me because I signed up for The Knot (ughh...what a mistake that was), and a wedding planning book I picked up at a book fair that is really ridiculous because it actually says on the checklist of important wedding things that you need to hire a wedding planner, but it has good budget sheets and flower lists and sort of helpful stuff for A.P. to look over. Then I gave him a stack of post-its and told him to get to marking that text and finding things he likes. Then I told him that our deadline for picking a date, narrowing down a budget (or at least figuring out what we want to save on and what we want to splurge on), and him looking at the mags was end of next week. He says he resents the fact that I am ordering him to look at magazines, but let's face it people, A.P. is A.P. I love him, but if I didn't put a deadline on it, it would never get done. Instead, the whitest white boy would download rap music and read his econ blogs. Instead I told him that he should look at it this way: there are tons of magazines and blogs and books, and I, in the past few months, have narrowed it down for him to these few resources. I made his life easier by doing more than half of the work for him. That sounds nice, right? Engagement has made me a nicer significant other. : O )
In the mean time, I do have some wedding planning news. For one thing, A.P. and I have begun to rethink our original excuse to get people to show up for the surprise wedding. Because there's no way I can have a new job and plan a wedding in a short enough amount of time to pull off the engagement party pretense. So we came up with a new idea, and one that I think will serve us better in the long run. Here's the thing, the surprise wedding thing was something A.P. always liked, but he was always worried about making sure his family was going to come in town from Florida. He was really worried they wouldn't come into town for an engagement party, especially his one brother who is a bit cash poor these days with a new baby and a new dream job for which he had to take a slight pay cut. So here is the new plan: have a slightly longer engagement, and plan on marrying in spring. Then, have a fake wedding reflected on the invitation, get everyone in town for said fake wedding, and actually get married at the rehearsal dinner the night before. This way, his family will for sure be in town, I still get my surprise wedding, and yeah, I'm still happy, and he's happier. I think it will be better this way, too. We have also been tossing around the idea of having a relaxed "after-party" the next night (the night we would have as our supposed wedding night) at our place. So it's like a fun-filled, surprise wedding weekend. Plus we get to hang with our friends and family and enjoy a bunch of time with them. The more I think about it, the happier I am about the whole thing. I feel more confident that we won't be excluding A.P.'s family in any way, and I envision this awesome, super-chill, wedding weekend wherein I wear a pretty dress, and jeans. Does it get any better than that?
So we've thought that part out, but now we need to figure out other details, like a date, and an idea of what our budget will be. I gave A.P. the old stack of wedding mags, the binder I started keeping with crap I picked up at the Bridal Expo, and had sent to me because I signed up for The Knot (ughh...what a mistake that was), and a wedding planning book I picked up at a book fair that is really ridiculous because it actually says on the checklist of important wedding things that you need to hire a wedding planner, but it has good budget sheets and flower lists and sort of helpful stuff for A.P. to look over. Then I gave him a stack of post-its and told him to get to marking that text and finding things he likes. Then I told him that our deadline for picking a date, narrowing down a budget (or at least figuring out what we want to save on and what we want to splurge on), and him looking at the mags was end of next week. He says he resents the fact that I am ordering him to look at magazines, but let's face it people, A.P. is A.P. I love him, but if I didn't put a deadline on it, it would never get done. Instead, the whitest white boy would download rap music and read his econ blogs. Instead I told him that he should look at it this way: there are tons of magazines and blogs and books, and I, in the past few months, have narrowed it down for him to these few resources. I made his life easier by doing more than half of the work for him. That sounds nice, right? Engagement has made me a nicer significant other. : O )
9.19.2009
Life Gets in the Way
Hi all! I just wanted to apologize for my lack of posting. Besides this month being a whirlwind of adventure (new job! vacation! engagement! vacation again!), I've had some family stuff going on lately. I started my new job a few weeks ago and have been insanely stressed and busy with that, and then my brother landed in the hospital. Plus, someone at my new job got me sick, so I have a miserable cold, too. Anyway, this week my brother is getting out, and I'm going to try to catch up on my work this weekend, since I'm sick and not leaving the house. I'm hoping to be back to blogging next week, but I have to take it day by day.
I miss you all! And I miss writing and posting here. If you can believe it, I think I've been more stressed because I haven't been writing. I haven't read any blogs, and barely any gossip (if you can believe that, too), and A.P. and I haven't had a chance to put any thought into the wedding at all. But I'm hoping that this week will lead back into some normalcy and I'll get back into my regular routines.
Anyway, I didn't want you all to think that like many blogs out there, I had given up. It's just been an incredibly stressful past month and a half, and it seems to be neverending. I promise once I find the end of this tunnel, I'll be back and blogging like before! See you guys (hopefully very) soon!
I miss you all! And I miss writing and posting here. If you can believe it, I think I've been more stressed because I haven't been writing. I haven't read any blogs, and barely any gossip (if you can believe that, too), and A.P. and I haven't had a chance to put any thought into the wedding at all. But I'm hoping that this week will lead back into some normalcy and I'll get back into my regular routines.
Anyway, I didn't want you all to think that like many blogs out there, I had given up. It's just been an incredibly stressful past month and a half, and it seems to be neverending. I promise once I find the end of this tunnel, I'll be back and blogging like before! See you guys (hopefully very) soon!
9.09.2009
Fantasy vs. Reality
Ho-hum. I'm so overwhelmed with how fast-paced my life has been the past few weeks. It's lightening up, but it's going to take a while before I feel completely comfortable again. New jobs will do that to you, it seems. I'm still getting used to the new job, and I'm especially still getting used to being engaged. I still say boyfriend (I kind of hate the word fiance) and I still don't really tell people unless they ask. Why? Because then I have to answer questions I don't have the answers to, like when we're getting married and where and how and what kind of dress I want to wear.
You would think a girl who's had a wedding planning blog would be more excited about, you know, planning a wedding! But the truth is, I really am not too psyched at all. I was thinking about it and wondering why it is I feel that way. I've loved writing this blog and I've loved putting together ideas and starting to figure out what our wedding would look like, so why am I so resistant to start FINALLY planning our wedding? I think it's because that means it's no longer a fun thing to fantasize about, but instead more shit I have to do. I have a list the size of my ass (read: big) of things to do already with this new job, and now we have to plan a wedding? I know in a month or so when I'm more settled into my job, we'll really start planning, but for now, I'm just enjoying wearing the ring and smiling knowing we're getting married. Is that so wrong?
You would think a girl who's had a wedding planning blog would be more excited about, you know, planning a wedding! But the truth is, I really am not too psyched at all. I was thinking about it and wondering why it is I feel that way. I've loved writing this blog and I've loved putting together ideas and starting to figure out what our wedding would look like, so why am I so resistant to start FINALLY planning our wedding? I think it's because that means it's no longer a fun thing to fantasize about, but instead more shit I have to do. I have a list the size of my ass (read: big) of things to do already with this new job, and now we have to plan a wedding? I know in a month or so when I'm more settled into my job, we'll really start planning, but for now, I'm just enjoying wearing the ring and smiling knowing we're getting married. Is that so wrong?
9.03.2009
Ummm...AWKWARD
First off, thanks to everyone for the well wishes and congratulations! I'm sorry I haven't been posting a ton the past couple of weeks. In addition to my vacation with A.P., I was in Colorado this past weekend. But I'm back to my normal routine and will hopefully be posting my same 2-4 times a week. Yay! I've missed blogging and reading blogs so much! And while you would think that today's post would be about wedding planning, it's not. Prepare yourselves for some serious awkwardness...
So before I met A.P., I dated...a lot. I met people out and about, through friends, and online. My friends used to tease me about dating so much and having dates with multiple guys at the same time, and I would always say, "Don't hate the player, hate the game!" And I meant it. Though I'm happy as a clam to have my beloved A.P. and only him, and also though I'm happy to get married soon, I am sooooooooo glad that I dated a bunch before I met the man I am officially going to marry. But the problem with dating a lot is that there are a lot of men you dated or went out on dates with wandering the city's streets. Or in my case, possibly working at my new job.
After completing all my training the past few weeks, I finally started my new job this week, and have been busy getting acclimated and getting to know my coworkers, specifically one, we'll call him Douchey LaRue (because he was a bit of a d-bag), who I need to coordinate with a lot. When I got there and met him, he did seem kind of familiar, and I started really thinking about it. I came to the conclusion that he might be this guy I had a HORRIBLE date with three years ago before I met A.P. There are some details that I remember about this guy, and so far they are all aligning with the details I'm learning about Douchey LaRue. People, I am kind of freaking out! I love this job...and this is a place I could work forever and retire from! I don't want to say anything, because it's a bit, you know, AWKWARD AS HELL! Thank goodness there was no lovin' of any kind involved, because that would be really bad, but still the date itself was pretty awful.
So here's my dilemma: Should I confront the guy? Or should I continue to pretend like I'm a complete retard and oblivious to the fact that this guy and I went out on a date and he was a total douchebag? Advice, please!
So before I met A.P., I dated...a lot. I met people out and about, through friends, and online. My friends used to tease me about dating so much and having dates with multiple guys at the same time, and I would always say, "Don't hate the player, hate the game!" And I meant it. Though I'm happy as a clam to have my beloved A.P. and only him, and also though I'm happy to get married soon, I am sooooooooo glad that I dated a bunch before I met the man I am officially going to marry. But the problem with dating a lot is that there are a lot of men you dated or went out on dates with wandering the city's streets. Or in my case, possibly working at my new job.
After completing all my training the past few weeks, I finally started my new job this week, and have been busy getting acclimated and getting to know my coworkers, specifically one, we'll call him Douchey LaRue (because he was a bit of a d-bag), who I need to coordinate with a lot. When I got there and met him, he did seem kind of familiar, and I started really thinking about it. I came to the conclusion that he might be this guy I had a HORRIBLE date with three years ago before I met A.P. There are some details that I remember about this guy, and so far they are all aligning with the details I'm learning about Douchey LaRue. People, I am kind of freaking out! I love this job...and this is a place I could work forever and retire from! I don't want to say anything, because it's a bit, you know, AWKWARD AS HELL! Thank goodness there was no lovin' of any kind involved, because that would be really bad, but still the date itself was pretty awful.
So here's my dilemma: Should I confront the guy? Or should I continue to pretend like I'm a complete retard and oblivious to the fact that this guy and I went out on a date and he was a total douchebag? Advice, please!
9.01.2009
Finally...I Get to the Damn Point!
I feel like I've been slamming you all with big news, lately: a new job, vacation, and now this. But this news, this news is actually relevant to this blog. It's actually what this whole blog has been about from the beginning...A.P. and I are engaged! Yay! It happened on our trip to Tennessee, specifically this past Friday. We are very, very excited! And because A.P. is a man with a plan, the moment was documented, and now I'm sharing (including actual pictures of us! Wow...weird.). We're still in the process of telling people, so not everybody knows. We're hoping to have that all taken care of by the end of the week, but man alive, I get tired of being on the phone and telling the same story over and over again. Geesh.
So, here's the story...with pictures!
We were driving through the Smoky National Park, specifically on Newfound Gap Road, which connects North Carolina to Tennessee through the park. We got to Newfound Gap and it was, ahem, too "Smoky" to see a damn thing, so we drove back. Along the way there are all kinds of little places to stop, park, get out, and hike around and check things out. So we kept stopping at these little streams and taking pictures. We stopped at this one stream and A.P. said, "Let's set the camera up and take a picture of both of us." I kind of knew something was up...why you ask? Because my dumb ass accidentally found the ring before we even left on vacation. Oops. But honestly, I didn't know if he was for sure going to ask. I thought he was kind of winging it, but turns out, everyone knew except me: my family, my friends, his family, his coworkers. So, we set the camera up and take one picture:
Not too pretty. It looks like we're fighting, but actually I thought the camera went off, and then I realized it hadn't, so I was trying to get A.P. back in position. Then we took another picture:
Much better. But A.P. didn't like it. He wanted to take another:
Much, MUCH better. I loved this one, so I thought we were done. But he goes, "Let's take one more." So I set up the camera again, and this happened:
In record time (because he wanted to get it in the picture), he got down on one knee, shoved the ring on my finger and blurted out, "Marty, will you marry me?" The joke is, he said it so fast, I don't really know what I agreed to. Of course the camera went off while he was in the middle of getting down on one knee, so it looks like he's falling or I'm helping him up the rock, or who knows what, but WE know what this picture is all about.
Then we hugged and kissed and were happy. Then we took post-happiness pictures. I like this picture because it was after we left the "engagement site" and had moved on to another little stream. In a quick moment, I whipped out the camera and snapped off this picture as I told A.P., "One more...it's all about the ring." He's laughing, which is a rarity in a lot of our pictures (he's usually got his "I'm a serious man" face on).
Then as we were driving away, and stopped at yet another park and take pictures site, we saw a rainbow! Because when you're engaged, everything comes up puppies and rainbows! (Seriously, on the drive back home we saw a puggle puppy!)
We haven't set a date, we haven't talked about anything yet, so please don't bombard me with questions about all that wedding business quite yet (ironic on a wedding planning blog, I know), because I'll look stupid with my lack of answers. For now, A.P. and I are having a great time making jokes about future husbands and wives, and what I really agreed to when I said yes. (Burping for life!! Dog poop on the carpet!!!) I'm happy I was in a pretty place, and wearing plaid (which if you know me at all, you know I love) and jeans. I'm happy that we get to share the rest of our lives together and that we get to keep having fun (hopefully). Yay!
So, here's the story...with pictures!
We were driving through the Smoky National Park, specifically on Newfound Gap Road, which connects North Carolina to Tennessee through the park. We got to Newfound Gap and it was, ahem, too "Smoky" to see a damn thing, so we drove back. Along the way there are all kinds of little places to stop, park, get out, and hike around and check things out. So we kept stopping at these little streams and taking pictures. We stopped at this one stream and A.P. said, "Let's set the camera up and take a picture of both of us." I kind of knew something was up...why you ask? Because my dumb ass accidentally found the ring before we even left on vacation. Oops. But honestly, I didn't know if he was for sure going to ask. I thought he was kind of winging it, but turns out, everyone knew except me: my family, my friends, his family, his coworkers. So, we set the camera up and take one picture:
Not too pretty. It looks like we're fighting, but actually I thought the camera went off, and then I realized it hadn't, so I was trying to get A.P. back in position. Then we took another picture:
Much better. But A.P. didn't like it. He wanted to take another:
Much, MUCH better. I loved this one, so I thought we were done. But he goes, "Let's take one more." So I set up the camera again, and this happened:
In record time (because he wanted to get it in the picture), he got down on one knee, shoved the ring on my finger and blurted out, "Marty, will you marry me?" The joke is, he said it so fast, I don't really know what I agreed to. Of course the camera went off while he was in the middle of getting down on one knee, so it looks like he's falling or I'm helping him up the rock, or who knows what, but WE know what this picture is all about.
Then we hugged and kissed and were happy. Then we took post-happiness pictures. I like this picture because it was after we left the "engagement site" and had moved on to another little stream. In a quick moment, I whipped out the camera and snapped off this picture as I told A.P., "One more...it's all about the ring." He's laughing, which is a rarity in a lot of our pictures (he's usually got his "I'm a serious man" face on).
Then as we were driving away, and stopped at yet another park and take pictures site, we saw a rainbow! Because when you're engaged, everything comes up puppies and rainbows! (Seriously, on the drive back home we saw a puggle puppy!)
We haven't set a date, we haven't talked about anything yet, so please don't bombard me with questions about all that wedding business quite yet (ironic on a wedding planning blog, I know), because I'll look stupid with my lack of answers. For now, A.P. and I are having a great time making jokes about future husbands and wives, and what I really agreed to when I said yes. (Burping for life!! Dog poop on the carpet!!!) I'm happy I was in a pretty place, and wearing plaid (which if you know me at all, you know I love) and jeans. I'm happy that we get to share the rest of our lives together and that we get to keep having fun (hopefully). Yay!
8.21.2009
Dance Away...
Photo by me!A.P. and I are gearing up for our much needed vacation! We are leaving tomorrow for one week in the Smoky Mountains. We rented a cabin and we're taking (almost) all of the animals, which is pretty cool. I don't know about A.P., but I plan on watching lots of movies, reading lots of books, taking lots of walks, and making lots of things. Oh and one trip to Dollywood, because secretly I heart Dolly Parton. I plan on avoiding my phone, my computer and, well, the world in general. Our cabin is awesome and has a nice kitchen, so I also plan on making tons of yummy food. We leave tomorrow and we can't wait! I may or may not blog next week. I decided to give myself permission to do it if I want to, but I'm not going to pressure myself to get posts up or anything. So I may or may not be around. Whether I blog or not, I know for sure I won't be surfing the net that much, including Preez (gasp!), so I encourage you to email me great finds or links to your own great finds. I also encourage you to email me suggestions for the blog's latest feature! Now...on to the dance!
I'm bit time crushing on this invite. I love how it tells the story of their relationship. So sweet. And weirdly, I'm also loving the bookmark shape.
I'm also loving these hair accessories, which you could easily adapt for your wedding (if you're not doing the whole veil thing)! I especially love the blue and coral one!
Have I ever told you guys that I was Max from Where the Wild Things Are for Halloween the first year I was dating A.P.? I made my costume and even got compliments on it from a bunch of random people on the train! I still have it, too and am thinking about rocking it again this year since the movie is coming out soon. Anyway, because I heart that book so much, and because I am soooo looking forward to Spike Jonze's film version, how could I resist posting about this Where the Wild Things Are themed birthday? I never thought I'd say it, but I'm totally jealous of a one year old! I say, screw the kids...I want a Where the Wild Things Are themed birthday party!! Also if you haven't watched the trailer for the movie yet, click that link up there and watch it...the Arcade Fire (who I love so, so much) song is enough to give you chills.
Speaking of giving me chills, I'm big time digging this engagement session by the fabulous Duston Todd. I completely agree with him that knowing art makes you a better artist, and the same goes with writing. This one's by far my favorite:
Vera Devera did a nice roundup of etsy finds under $50 that you could use in a wedding. Though not everyone is crafty, I feel like most people have crafty friends. That being said, don't you think you could ask said crafty friends to paint some naked peggies? I think so, too. Maybe even tell them that can be their wedding gift to you. After all, you'll have that cake topper forever!
I'm not planning on having bridesmaids, but if I was, I would soooo make this card for them:
It looks pretty easy to me, and I feel like even if your results weren't perfect, it would still be adorable. DIY instructions can be found at Once Wed.
Speaking of cute, easy to replicate ideas...I'm loving this escort card suitcase table that C. is for Charmed featured.
Photo via C. is for CharmedLately it seems as if I've been featuring a real wedding in my Friday dances, and this week will be no different. This week's wedding is a lovely, super eco-friendly one from Green Wedding Shoes. I'm down with any wedding where you get to be in a canoe in your wedding dress! (How is it that I'm a city person born and raised?) Check out some of the pictures below and go to Green Wedding Shoes to see the rest of this fabulous wedding shot by Sabine Scherer.
Does anyone watch Everybody Loves Raymond? If so, did you ever see the episode where Marie takes up sculpture and makes an abstract sculpture that resembles a certain female body part? Okay, now look at the wedding cake from this wedding:
Now I love Jason Keefer, so this is in no way a reflection on his photography, nor is it a reflection on the wedding, because this was a beautiful wedding, but what in the hell was on that baker's mind when she made this cake? I have no idea what is, but I sure know what it looks like! Yummy, I guess? Lol...
Finally I just wanted you guys to go read The Broke-Ass Bride's post about healthcare reform. I've only ever gotten political once before on this blog, but I really don't see wanting healthcare reform and our government to catch up to the rest of the West and adopt a united healthcare policy as being political. Instead, I agree with the Broke-Ass Bride that healthcare is a human rights issue, and while I have not had the medical drama that she has had, I have had my own issues with healthcare. The last three years have seen me go without health insurance as I put myself through school. I couldn't afford my school's health insurance policy, and afford to you know, live. I chose to live, albeit carefully, for the past three years. Then this year, I hurt my knee. I'm lucky enough to have friends who are doctors and one who actually helped me, but my knee is still messed up and I can't wait for my health insurance to kick in so I can get it treated properly. My job, ironically, has me running up and down stairs all day long and on my feet. I'm trying to be a productive member of society and do the thing I love and am good at, and I can't tell you how frustrating it is to know that I have friends like the Half-breed Swede who live in other countries that went to school just like me and never worried about getting sick. If you don't agree with me, I'm sure you have your reasons, but remember there are faces behind this debate, and they're not of people trying to take advantage of the system. And one day...your face could be one of them. Really, though, I urge you to really listen to the debate, no matter which side you stand on, and think about how you would feel if you lost your job and had to choose to pay the bills or see a doctor.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! I'll be chilling like a villain!
Does anyone watch Everybody Loves Raymond? If so, did you ever see the episode where Marie takes up sculpture and makes an abstract sculpture that resembles a certain female body part? Okay, now look at the wedding cake from this wedding:
Now I love Jason Keefer, so this is in no way a reflection on his photography, nor is it a reflection on the wedding, because this was a beautiful wedding, but what in the hell was on that baker's mind when she made this cake? I have no idea what is, but I sure know what it looks like! Yummy, I guess? Lol...
Finally I just wanted you guys to go read The Broke-Ass Bride's post about healthcare reform. I've only ever gotten political once before on this blog, but I really don't see wanting healthcare reform and our government to catch up to the rest of the West and adopt a united healthcare policy as being political. Instead, I agree with the Broke-Ass Bride that healthcare is a human rights issue, and while I have not had the medical drama that she has had, I have had my own issues with healthcare. The last three years have seen me go without health insurance as I put myself through school. I couldn't afford my school's health insurance policy, and afford to you know, live. I chose to live, albeit carefully, for the past three years. Then this year, I hurt my knee. I'm lucky enough to have friends who are doctors and one who actually helped me, but my knee is still messed up and I can't wait for my health insurance to kick in so I can get it treated properly. My job, ironically, has me running up and down stairs all day long and on my feet. I'm trying to be a productive member of society and do the thing I love and am good at, and I can't tell you how frustrating it is to know that I have friends like the Half-breed Swede who live in other countries that went to school just like me and never worried about getting sick. If you don't agree with me, I'm sure you have your reasons, but remember there are faces behind this debate, and they're not of people trying to take advantage of the system. And one day...your face could be one of them. Really, though, I urge you to really listen to the debate, no matter which side you stand on, and think about how you would feel if you lost your job and had to choose to pay the bills or see a doctor.
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! I'll be chilling like a villain!
8.19.2009
Well hello, Penny!
Dude...Max Wanger just posted Sonya Walger's wedding. If there are any Lost fans (and if you aren't a fan, you really should be. BEST. SHOW. ON. TV.), you'll recognize the lovely Ms. Walger as Penny, Desmond's one true love, from ABC's Lost. Or if you happened to be one of the ten people (myself included) who watched HBO's Tell Me You Love Me, you'll recognize her as the pregnancy obsessed Carolyn. The wedding is beautiful, and of course, she is the most beautiful bride. Run and give the whole thing a look-see. Tell 'em Marty J. sent ya!
8.17.2009
New Feature: Wedding Things We Don’t Have to Do Anymore, Because We’re Above That. It’s the Future.
Futuristic BridePhoto via Kimiko Yoshida
Welcome to my latest feature! As you know, in addition to my sporadic (as of late) posting, I also do a weekly dance. Now in addition to the Friday dances, I'm also giving you this feature, which I anticipate doing about once a month or so. It's called, "Wedding Things We Don’t Have to Do Anymore, Because We’re Above That. It’s the Future." I know. Long title. But secretly, you know you love it!
I've been dreaming some of these up for quite a while. Initially I envisioned this as a sort of top ten list, but I was having trouble coming up with a ton, so instead I'm giving the blog another feature. While the title is long, the idea is simple: Come up with an idea or share an idea that you used in your wedding that saves money, incorporates technology, and/or is creative but that is only possible because, you know, it's 2009. Still don't get it? Don't worry, as I post them and you read them, you will. Oh my little blog pets, you will!
This feature is also interactive, meaning that while I anticipate coming up with these for a while, I'm also hoping that readers will email or share ideas in the comments, and that eventually it will be completely reader driven. They don't even need to be long. Just a few sentences or a short paragraph that fit the theme: Wedding Things We Don’t Have to Do Anymore, Because We’re Above That. It’s the Future. It's also a great opportunity to get some free linkage. If I choose your response for the month, you'll also get some free press for your blog/site. So please, start brainstorming and sending in your ideas! And spread the word to your blog buddies!
So without further ado, here's the first installment of Wedding Things We Don’t Have to Do Anymore, Because We’re Above That. It’s the Future.
1. Paper RSVPs, Accommodation cards, Reception Dinner Choice, etc., etc., etc.
With more and more couple websites popping up, there’s really no need to kill more trees, and blow more money on expensive letterpress, not to mention suck up more of your busy life into wedding planning. Since you’re just going to take those paper cards and enter them into a spreadsheet anyway, why not have a web designer create an awesome home page for you with a quick and easy RSVP link? (I know at least one you could email...) You could also set it up so that your guests fill out a short survey so that you have all their updated information, including email addresses! This would definitely make it easier to notify guests if anything about your wedding details should change. The end result? More paper saved AND your life got easier. Life really is better in the future. Now if only they would get to making that matter transporter unit already...
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