Fantasy vs. Reality

Ho-hum. I'm so overwhelmed with how fast-paced my life has been the past few weeks. It's lightening up, but it's going to take a while before I feel completely comfortable again. New jobs will do that to you, it seems. I'm still getting used to the new job, and I'm especially still getting used to being engaged. I still say boyfriend (I kind of hate the word fiance) and I still don't really tell people unless they ask. Why? Because then I have to answer questions I don't have the answers to, like when we're getting married and where and how and what kind of dress I want to wear.

You would think a girl who's had a wedding planning blog would be more excited about, you know, planning a wedding! But the truth is, I really am not too psyched at all. I was thinking about it and wondering why it is I feel that way. I've loved writing this blog and I've loved putting together ideas and starting to figure out what our wedding would look like, so why am I so resistant to start FINALLY planning our wedding? I think it's because that means it's no longer a fun thing to fantasize about, but instead more shit I have to do. I have a list the size of my ass (read: big) of things to do already with this new job, and now we have to plan a wedding? I know in a month or so when I'm more settled into my job, we'll really start planning, but for now, I'm just enjoying wearing the ring and smiling knowing we're getting married. Is that so wrong?


  1. I hate the word fiance. I called Josh my boyfriend right up until he was my husband. Actually, sometimes I still call him my boyfriend.

    Don't sweat the planning, you "shouldn't" feel any particular way, you just feel the way you feel.

  2. Nope, nope, nope. The first few weeks after our engagement people would ask all these nosy questions like "so when is the date?" (um? Why is it pertinent? You are not invited anyway) and I would just go "I don't know" because I really didn't. I didn't want to start all that mumbo jumbo I just wanted to float along on that cloud (and for the record, I don't float) of "I am getting married!"

  3. I once heard someone say that "fiance" is the ultimate "LOOK AT ME!" word.

    I think they're right. I had a really hard time using it and instead just always referred to him by name so as to avoid it.

  4. Bleurgh to fiance. I would prefer bethrothed or anna!

    I love just being engaged and not thining about planning. Heaven!

  5. i like this post because it's real. i think all of us have these ideas and fantasies but it's hard to really capture what we haven't experienced. now it's real for you. but i think what you're going through is just the newness of the transition, with the new name and the ring and everything. but i guarantee that in a short while as you settle into this phase and you start discussing a date, you're gonna get that mojo back and we're gonna see all the planning and exploring and brainstorming come together in an incredible way.


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