Saturday's Child Works Hard for a Living

I love, love, loved nursery rhymes as a kid. My mother had this beautiful book with the most fantastic illustrations for all these different nursery rhymes. It was, by far, one of my favorite books. My favorite rhyme was Goosey Goosey Gander, which if you know that rhyme, is pretty funny considering how semi-violent it is. Anyway, one of my favorite rhymes was "Monday's Child," do you remember this rhyme? Here it is in its entirety if you don't:

Monday's child is fair of face.
Tuesday's child is full of grace.
Wednesday's child is full of woe.
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving.
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.
The point of today's post is to talk about how fucking weirdly ironic nursery rhymes are. This nursery rhyme might as well have been a Magic 8 Ball! If only I had known!!

My whole life I've worked my ass off. I started babysitting when I was in the 4th grade. I bought myself a computer, a study abroad trip, a class trip, and many other things. When I turned 16 and didn't get a job the next day, I was told I needed to "get on that" by my mother. So I did. I worked my way through undergrad, and got a job right away after college. I even worked my goddamn breaks. In fact, I worked MORE over breaks. After graduating college, I worked at a shitty job for over two years and then went back to grad school. I made the decision that I needed time to do other things besides work while I was in school. I needed the time to read, to write, to be creative. I needed that. I didn't just want it. I deserved it. So much for that plan. I didn't get into the cheap state school because I didn't have my undergrad degree in the right field (you would think they would have mentioned that to me on the more than one occasion I talked to a school rep...geesh), so I applied to the more expensive private university, and thus had to get a job. So I worked my ass off and worked through grad school. At any given moment, since the time I graduated high school, I'm two centimeters away from being a total broke ass motherfucker. Currently, I'm totally uninsured. I own no property. I don't have a car. I graduate in May and will have about 60K in loans. I have about 6K in credit card debt. It's fucking AWESOME!!! But here's the thing about me: I don't often complain about it. I know that might seem hard to believe given the fact that I'm kind of bitching about it now, but I really don't complain very much about being totally fucking broke.

Then there are days like today. I have spoiled friends and I have to tell you, the world would be a much more tolerable place if rich people didn't exist. Or at least didn't flaunt their wealth. Spoiled people are the worst. When spoiled people get in my face, and have the audacity to complain to me about their own "poverty," I gotta tell you, it makes me want to punch them in the face. I sometimes want to say, "Hey, how about you go fuck yourself and I'll be over here enjoying your wealth?" Because I would be happy every goddamn day if I had their kind of money, you know what I mean? My whole life and all its goals have been compromised because of my lack of monetary funds and the fact that I've had to provide for myself since I was a kid. I'm good with money, but never have any of it!

Now what does this have to do with weddings? Well, not much, except that it seems to me that now more than ever, these fucking crazy brides who drop 30K+ on their weddings should all be given the hose. (It puts the lotion in the basket, or else it gets the hose. Come on...what's that from???) I found a new wedding blog today...one that made this Saturday's child want to punch some seven Vera Wang wearing bridesmaids having, one ricockulously (that's like riDICulous, but you see what I did there? I replaced the DIC with COCK. That's right. It's awesome. Tell your friends.) expensive Valentino bridal gown wearing dumb bitch bride in the face. Did that sentence make any sense? Those of you who understand why I hate, understood my sentence. Is this giant wedding having really socially responsible in these times? Some would argue at any time. I guess it's obvious where I stand on this issue, but I gotta tell you, it's time the "indie brides" fought back. This shit is riCOCKulous.

Not to mention that it just makes me angry that all these little bitches do short movies with photos at their wedding. Why? Because I love that idea, but I can't do it, because in the end, I'll be no better than them. And they all use The Beatles song "In My Life" or "I Will" which drives me freaking CRAZY since those are genuinely two of my favorite songs. DAMMIT!!!

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