Me First

First off, one of my favorite bloggers, Candace Todd of Sparkle Power, along with her husband is the featured seller on etsy today. Go check out the interview. Then check out their shop, especially the super adorable scalloped bunting that Candace makes using vintage fabric!

Secondly, I made a decision yesterday. I should have worked from the time I got up until I went to bed. Instead, I putzed around the house, and then went to Old Navy and Target to return some stuff, and then did some other shopping/errands. I came home, putzed around some more, and headed to bed. I felt a little bad, but mostly it felt good.

Now I'm not going to cross that one off my list for 2011 yet...but it's a good step in the right direction. Putting me first instead of work is hard for me. It's hard because I'm a bit of a workaholic. It's not even a compulsion like it is for some people. Really, I just can't stand having unfinished tasks on my plate. You can imagine how hard working in general is for me, since there are always unfinished tasks to conquer. It sort of drives me a little batty.

I first noticed this insane part of me when I worked as a reshelver in the medical library in college. I would arrive at work and there would be carts and carts of books, and I always felt like if I didn't get them all done, I would be a failure somehow.

Now, I try not to talk about my job in specifics, so suffice it to say that my job has a nutty amount of work involved. And it never f***ing ends. EVER. My coworkers and I joke that our job has no real work hours. You just go, go, go until you have a heart attack basically. You can also, to a certain extent, create your own workload. So the real question is why do I do this to myself?

This is the year, people. This is the year I decide to put myself first, and say enough is enough. It's just work. At the end of the day, I know I won't remember most of it. What I'll remember instead is nights in bed with A.P. laughing and playing with the dog and cat, trips we took together, the kids we will have one day, my mother and the way she rocked me to sleep every day in her wicker and wood rocking chair, how my father and I took photo booth pictures together, getting into mischief with my siblings, or how I watched my nephew grow up and become a man. There are so many memories that will pop into my head during those final moments of my death and I can pretty much guarantee that few, if any, of those moments will have to do with work.

How do you feel about work? Are you a workaholic, too? Or are you more of a family/home first type of person?