Marriage Mondays: Don't Go Changing to Try to Please Me

Hi everyone! I apologize for my absence this month...life got the best of me and there was just no time to blog (just like in February there was no time to read). I can't promise I'll be back in full swing, but I've been itching to write this Marriage Monday post for the past couple of weeks and finally had a bit of time to do so.

Lately, I've been dying to cut my hair.  Actually, every year around this time, when the weather loses its crispness, the rain starts, and the humidity creeps in, I feel a strong urge to chop off all my hair.  My friends have actually started to make fun of me because every year I swear this will be the year I'm going to whack it all off and every year I don't.  Some of this is because I don't know how I want it cut and some of this is because I like braiding my hair and putting it up and of course I can't do that when it's short.  Plus, my hair takes FOREVER to grow back, so if I cut it, it will be short for a while.

A while back, though, I found *the* cut.  Not only that, but I decided I wanted to color it, too.  I haven't seriously colored my hair since my caramel-colored J. Lo highlights my senior year of college, for which my brother relentlessly teased me, calling me Marty from the block.  But lately, I've been itching for SOMETHING to change.  And if I can't change my circumstances - where we live, where we work, the ginormous tax bills we seem to keep getting hit with - I can at least change my hair's length and color.

So, what does this have to do with marriage?  Well, I was telling my friend a few weeks ago that I was going to whack off all my hair and she asked me the oddest question.  She said, "Does A.P. care that you're going to cut your hair off?"  It struck me as so odd.  Why in the world would A.P. care?  Or have a say?  It prompted me, though, to ask him later, would it bother him if I cut my hair?  After all, though he's seen pictures of my hair short, I've never really had it super short while I've been with him.  A.P.'s response was that of course no, he wouldn't care at all if I have my hair long or short.  Just maybe dreadlocks or mohawks aren't his thing.  : )  Fair enough, I thought.

Still this whole thing has made me wonder how many women do worry about changing their appearance in a marriage or relationship.  Are there really women who won't cut their hair or change their appearance somehow because of their husband's opinion?  I mean, I'm sure there are, but I can't quite wrap my brain around it.

So, riddle me this?  Do you consider your husband/wife's opinion before you change your appearance? Or are you like me in that it would never even occur to you?

P.S. I'll keep you updated on the haircut itself, which I'm sure will be the topic of a post at some point.

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  1. I think this is definitely something a lot of people (perhaps predominantly women?) worry about, which is really interesting and a little weird to me. Unless it's something SUPER drastic like getting tattoos on your face and 50 new piercings (which still shouldn't affect how much the other person loves you but might be something to talk with your partner about first) it is really odd that people worry that their partner might be upset by something you change about YOUR appearance.

    I would talk to Lindi about something that's a big change like chopping all my hair off-- but because I would want her help narrowing down the new style and brainstorming ideas, not because I think it would change her opinion of me if I cut my hair.

    Anyway, good for you! I can't wait to hear more about the new cut! :D

  2. My ex threatened to cut my hair in my sleep if I grew it out - he liked short hair. Yeah, more than a bit controlling...

    I warned my husband before I cut 6 inches off my hair, but it wasn't asking permission - it was simply a head's up. And because I wanted to talk about my decision before I cut my almost waist length hair.


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