Still, I'm always in a bit of disbelief about how young I was when I met A.P. And in even more disbelief when I realize that my whole plan to get married in my thirties went right out the window. I know I blame my mother for the whole "not the marrying kind" moniker, but let's be honest, I accepted it because in some ways, I always thought it was true. I didn't see myself as the kind of girl guys wanted to marry. I figured I'd need an older, wiser guy to have that realization.
I also thought jumping into marriage young was not exactly the wisest decision. I still stand by that statement, but am a lot more open to exceptions now. The reason I'm more open is for the same reason I stand by the statement: half of the people I know who married young are divorced now. That means there are some exceptions, but for the most part, things are as statistically stated many times before.
Still, if you peruse sites like Wedding Bee or The Knot's community boards, or heck, just read various blogs, you realize a lot of people marry young. And let's clarify what "young" is. I consider young to be 30 and younger, with the full understanding that most people think young is actually 25 and under. That being said, I can't for the life of me imagine being married at that time in my life. It was hard enough being in a relationship in my late 20's. I felt like I was growing up too fast in some ways when a lot of my friends were still all out having fun. Those first couple of years were tough sometimes and honestly the only thing that made it easier was that I loved A.P. and I couldn't imagine breaking up with him.
Also, your 20's are this great big leap between childhood and adulthood. You change in ways you can't even foresee. You settle, for lack of a better word, about a lot of things, too. The things that I'm doing now I didn't even envision for myself at age 22. I have a hard time thinking back about my early 20's and being sure about anything, let alone a person I was going to marry. I know everyone is different and some people can mature and grow together from even an early age, but most people I know who married young and are divorced now grew apart because their interests changed. Their direction in life altered in a way that no longer coincided with the person they'd vowed to be with for life and so the marriage ended.
I'm not offering any answers here and I'm not arguing any side is right. I think that rules I thought existed before I went ahead and broke anyway, so I'm certainly not one to judge. But it is an interesting conversation and one I thought might be appropriate here. Is there an appropriate age to get married? Did you/do you have any preconceived ideas about the age you'd be when you got married? And if you are married, do you think your age going in has affected the relationship at all? Let's discuss! : )
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