I read a lot of blogs. A lot. I read about women who are single, and women who are married. I read about women who are having babies, and women who are struggling with infertility. I read about fashion, design, crafts, and oh so much more. One thing very few of these blogs ever discuss is sex. I'm not talking pornographic descriptions of sex lives, I'm just talking intimacy in general and how it changes during a relationship. It's the subject no one ever seems to want to bring up. And I get it, I do.
When I first started dating A.P., I realized that this relationship was different, and so I treated it differently. That meant not really talking to my friends about our sex life. I wanted to be respectful of our love for each other, and for his feelings. I didn't want my friends to know his dirty details, and so I kept my mouth shut.
So when things got stressful, and we got lazy, and it started to not be so great in that area, there was no one to talk to. I thought the blogs I read would address the issue, but they don't. It's like the elephant in the room no one will talk about. That's why I was so happy when I found an article a while back in Redbook which asked four couples to chart their sex lives during their time together. It was interesting to see sex wax and wane over time, with different things affecting their sex life: new babies, affairs, jobs, getting laid off, etc.
I'm happy to report that A.P. and I have worked our issue out, and though it's not perfect, it's better, and getting better all the time. We make it a priority now to be flirty with each other. We used to do that all the time, but when we got busy, we just did the bare minimum to keep going, forgetting about each other in so many ways. We also know that while sex every night is just not possible when I'm working 60-70 hour work weeks, cuddling every night and falling asleep in each other's arms is. And at the very least, we talk about it. We knew from the get go that not communicating about the lack of sex in our lives was worse than the actual lack of sex.
I also have tried to get back to my lingerie roots. I used to like to wear sexy little get ups all the time, sometimes it was formal lingerie, sometimes it was just knee socks, undies and a tank top. Lately, though, I'm on the hunt for feminine pieces that flatter and are light and sexy. I randomly picked this sexy romper up at Target the other day, and am obsessed with it, not just for it's sweet sexiness, but for it's overall comfort. I loved it so much I went back and bought another in a soft peach and gray.
My dilemma is that it's hard to find sexy lingerie for large busted ladies. The bigger your boobs, the more utilitarian the bras become. (I still haven't gotten measured for a titsling, a must on my 2011 list.) So imagine my surprise when I saw these sexy getups over at Greedy Girl:
I'm thinking that I better go get measured for that bra already so that I can purchase some of these sexy pieces.
What do you do to keep the sex going? Do you have a favorite lingerie piece you like to wear?
(Photos via Greedy Girl)