I'm Bringing Sexy Back

I read a lot of blogs. A lot. I read about women who are single, and women who are married. I read about women who are having babies, and women who are struggling with infertility. I read about fashion, design, crafts, and oh so much more. One thing very few of these blogs ever discuss is sex. I'm not talking pornographic descriptions of sex lives, I'm just talking intimacy in general and how it changes during a relationship. It's the subject no one ever seems to want to bring up. And I get it, I do.

When I first started dating A.P., I realized that this relationship was different, and so I treated it differently. That meant not really talking to my friends about our sex life. I wanted to be respectful of our love for each other, and for his feelings. I didn't want my friends to know his dirty details, and so I kept my mouth shut.

So when things got stressful, and we got lazy, and it started to not be so great in that area, there was no one to talk to. I thought the blogs I read would address the issue, but they don't. It's like the elephant in the room no one will talk about. That's why I was so happy when I found an article a while back in Redbook which asked four couples to chart their sex lives during their time together. It was interesting to see sex wax and wane over time, with different things affecting their sex life: new babies, affairs, jobs, getting laid off, etc.

I'm happy to report that A.P. and I have worked our issue out, and though it's not perfect, it's better, and getting better all the time. We make it a priority now to be flirty with each other. We used to do that all the time, but when we got busy, we just did the bare minimum to keep going, forgetting about each other in so many ways. We also know that while sex every night is just not possible when I'm working 60-70 hour work weeks, cuddling every night and falling asleep in each other's arms is. And at the very least, we talk about it. We knew from the get go that not communicating about the lack of sex in our lives was worse than the actual lack of sex.

I also have tried to get back to my lingerie roots. I used to like to wear sexy little get ups all the time, sometimes it was formal lingerie, sometimes it was just knee socks, undies and a tank top. Lately, though, I'm on the hunt for feminine pieces that flatter and are light and sexy. I randomly picked this sexy romper up at Target the other day, and am obsessed with it, not just for it's sweet sexiness, but for it's overall comfort. I loved it so much I went back and bought another in a soft peach and gray.

My dilemma is that it's hard to find sexy lingerie for large busted ladies. The bigger your boobs, the more utilitarian the bras become. (I still haven't gotten measured for a titsling, a must on my 2011 list.) So imagine my surprise when I saw these sexy getups over at Greedy Girl:

I'm thinking that I better go get measured for that bra already so that I can purchase some of these sexy pieces.

What do you do to keep the sex going? Do you have a favorite lingerie piece you like to wear?

(Photos via Greedy Girl)


  1. Very interesting, and I always find hard to find non-grandma bras for my 36D so suggestions are always welcome.
    About sex life, well I'm single right now so... But you know I think people never discuss the "hard" part of relationships (like when there's no sex or when we're scared or when we disagree on having kids or on how to raise them, fight about money issue, bla bla bla). And though I understand not wanting to put it all out there, I think it's too bad because it makes us all believe that we're all alone with these issues. At least that's how it makes me feel, when I have the impression everybody else handles them easily.
    I think we make love more complicated by not admitting that it's not always simple. Does that make sense?

    unrelated PS: I replied to your question on my blog :)

  2. I don't know you, but I just saw your post on APW and followed the link, and wanted to tell you about Bravissimo.com and figleaves.com! (sorry I sound like a spam ad now, I'm not, I promise!) I'm a 32K (bra size!) and both of those sites carry gorgeous bras and lingerie for women up to a K cup. Everything from fun bright colours to sexy lace is featured there, and you can get supportive swimsuits and bikinis too! I sound like an infomercial now, but finding those sites changed my life, fashion-wise, so I wanted to share!

  3. I wear a 28F, which is impossible to find a) because the band size is tiny and b) because the cup size is huge for that band size (i.e. not a training bra). In the US, I have had good luck with barenecessities.com and sometimes Nordstrom, though they often only start at a 30, sigh.

    Try specialty bra stores. Not sure if they have any where you are, but they're pretty common in big cities.

    Good luck!!

  4. Wow! First off, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Second of all, thanks for all the awesome suggestions! I will for sure check out all of those places. If only women who want implants knew what it was really like, right?

  5. geez and i thought 32dd was hard to deal with! but back to the topic at hand. i agree! sometimes it's not cool to talk about it and sometimes you need some damn advice. not that i have an answer. usually you come to your own answer if you can be patient i guess. as a side note, i am in a babygroup and we all shared how many times we had had sex since baby? the babies were 5 months at this point. i think the majority said 3. and some said none. one said 15 and i think she's a big liar. fyi. or fyu.


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