Mother's Day

I had to write a post here that shows how much I love mothers since I'm bashing some of them on my other blog.  Don't hate me.  Instead, focus on the pretty brunch I threw for my mother.

(More pictures and all the details after the jump!)

The Perfect Cup

I'm warning everyone here. I'm talking about my boobs today. If you don't like it, come back tomorrow. If you are curious why in the world I'm talking about my breasts on the internet, keep going.

In order to cross off yet another thing on my list (I'll be giving you guys the quarterly update soon!), I attended Skinny Cow's The Perfect Cup event this past Sunday with my mother. My mother had emailed me about this a while back, but I didn't really pay attention (she sometimes sends a lot of links). When she got on my case and I went back and saw this it was to get measured for a bra, I figured, why not kill two birds with one stone: cross something off my list for 2011 and spend some QT with my moms.


The whole point of the event is that 8 out of 10 women are wearing the wrong bra size, so Skinny Cow partnered up with Warner's and Olga brands to help women find their "perfect cup." You get measured for a bra while also eating Skinny Cow ice cream cups. Get it? Perfect cup?? You also get a free bra (and free booze, food, and ice cream, plus a swag bag). Normally I am leery of events like this because of the types of people that sometimes attend them. Any event with free goods is bound to draw in some crazy. But this was actually pretty nice. Sure I saw one woman wearing a giant cut up, basketball jersey with only a bra underneath, but for the most part, people were pretty casual and classy.


The event was held in Chicago's beautiful Union Station. Unfortunately, it's not air conditioned. It's a giant hall, so it's pretty cool, but first we had to wait outside, which means most of the pictures you will see of me show me looking rather...moist. Once you get in, you registered and they gave you a beeper similar to what you receive at a chain restaurant. When it vibrated, you went and lined up for your fitting. Anyway, they'd completely done up the place. They had white tables and white leather lounge sofas. They also had really pretty pink and purple floral centerpieces on all the tables and gorgeous fuschia and purple silk pillows on the sofas. They had all these displays with old bras and lingerie, too. That was kind neat and my mom and I got a kick out of the falsies.


I've never in my life been fitted for a bra. I always just tried them on until I found one that fit. When I started gaining weight, my boobs got bigger, but when I lose weight, they never seem to get much smaller. Needless to say, I felt like I had no earthly idea what size bra I really wore. A couple of months ago I went to the store and tried on a million bras and found some 40C bras that fit very well. I've been rocking those since. The thing is, a while back my friend was measured for a bra and she told me she was a C cup. I had a hard time believing that. Her boobs are waaaaaaayyyyy smaller than mine. And before that, I saw an Oprah episode where everyone kept getting measured and they jumped from a C cup to a J cup or some crazy shit like that. Eeks! So I really expected that the woman was going to tell me I had gigantic breasts that could not be fit into a reasonable, easy to find bra size.

When we first arrived, we immediately got ice cream. They had a bunch of flavors, but my mom and I both tried the Dulce de Leche. It was delicious! We sat down on one of the white leather sofas and ate our ice cream. They had a TV screen where live tweets were being displayed. I blew my 73 year old mother's mind and tweeted about the event and then when it came up pointed it out. She thought that was pretty cool. (Btw, I tweeted under my NTMK account, so imagine what my mother must have thought when she saw that. I didn't even explain, but she asked, "Is that you? Not the marrying kind?" That was interesting since you know, she's kind of responsible for the alter ego!)


It was around then that my ass started vibrating. Our beepers went off. We went and got in line to get measured. When I met my measurer, I politely asked if I could take photos. I explained that I was a blogger (this was another first, btw. I've NEVER identified myself as a blogger to a stranger. I barely acknowledge this with people I know, though more and more I am.). She happily obliged and as she took my measurements, I took MySpace Facebook Google + style photos.

So, here's the exciting part! According to my measurements, I'm one of the 20% of women wearing the right bra size! I'm a 40C. But my kind measurer told me that doesn't mean that's what is comfortable for me. So she had me try on a bunch of size 40C bras, none of which she seemed to like. So she bumped me to 40D. Woot, I guess? After about three 40D bras, I finally found one I liked. Ta da!

I'll save my mother the embarrassment and just tell you she was not wearing the right bra size (she's lost a bunch of weight recently). After we got measured, we had some tasty bites and some wine and hung out. Then, we got our swag bag, which contained a hilarious t-shirt that says "Perfect Cup or Bust," as well as some coupons (and our free bra voucher!), and headed home. All in all, it was a fun day! And I crossed another thing off the list! Yay-hoo!

For more photos of the Chicago event, click here.

There are also two more Perfect Cup events coming up in Houston (this weekend, 8/6) and Los Angeles (8/27 and 8/28). My mom pre-registered for the event, but I was a walk-in. There was no special line for people with tickets, so if you can't get a ticket, I wouldn't worry about it too much. This would have been a fun afternoon with girlfriends, too. I highly encourage you to attend this year if you live in L.A. or Houston, or sign up next year when the tour hits the road again. For more information, click here.

(All Photos by me except the last, which was taken by staff at the Perfect Cup Event in Chicago)

Remember the Dance?

A long, long time ago, I used to do Friday dances. It was basically a roundup (sometimes with photos) of posts I'd happened onto that week that were interesting/funny/cute/insert a word here. The reason I called them Friday dances is because before the wedding, Fridays meant wedding dance practice for A.P. and I. We don't dance anymore, and the Friday dance posts tapered off. Lately, though, I've been thinking about bringing them back. Call it nostalgia, a desire to dance again (instead of coming home and passing out on the couch on a Friday night) or, heck, just an easier way to fill my five days. Either way, I'm bringing back the Friday dance! So, let's bust a move, shall we?

First up, a wedding. I'd like to think this wedding is what Liz Lemon's wedding would look like, if A. Liz Lemon got married young, and B. Liz Lemon were less awkward and more crafty. Of course, they would probably have cupcakes instead of cookies for the dessert buffet.

Speaking of Liz Lemon...check out this insane Liz Lemon blog. Blerg! That's awesome!

I don't know if I've ever mentioned A.P.'s intense love for barbecue, but I'm pretty sure that he would love it if I made this for dinner one night...

...And I would love him if he made these for me.

Here's to pop culture loving mothers! I hope my future bébés talk about me this way one day.

Speaking of future bébés...I also hope they dress like this. How freaking adorable!

These adorable vintage adapted dresses make me want to pack them all up, and head to Italy to ride on the back of a Vespa (à la Roman Holiday).

Almost wish I'd have thought of this for my own wedding! Would've fit in perfectly!

That's it, folks! Have a wonderful weekend! I'm going to try to be back on Monday, though it may be tough (three day weekend and all).

(Photos via Green Wedding Shoes)

It's Been So Long Since We Danced

First of all, I have to say (and I know it's not humble to say this), but yay me for FINALLY getting back into my blogging routine. Maybe it was because I was sick this week and took a day off work, but I finally had time to read and catch up on a lot of my old blogs, and can I just say, it's crazy how much has changed! Some people announced that they're pregnant, and some people wrapped up their first 100 days of marriage. So much happened, and it was so nice to get back to my old "friends," that it reminded me it had been forever since I did the blogging stuff I used to do...like the ol' Friday dance. So here it is...in all it's glory: a fabulous new Friday dance. Enjoy!

First, let's give my mom props for finding this wedding recap on Project Wedding. My mom sent it to me so I could read some tips this bride had for saving on my money, and it was worth the read (though I felt like we're already doing a lot of the things she suggested). But more importantly, it was my mother's first foray into the wedding blogosphere.

This made me crack up so hard, I almost peed a little.

The goal? To make A.P. more like this husband. Tell me you don't swoon when you read this story! Plus, one of the biggest reasons I read this blog (besides the craftiness of the mom) is because those kids are so freaking adorable!

A.P. and I already have our guest book idea figured out (we'll share more on that later), but if we didn't, I'm loving this idea featured on Victoria with Roses.

I secretly hope it rains so I get the opportunity to wear some kickass wellies like this bride.

I'm loving this poster and am tempted to buy A.P. one for his wedding gift. But I think I should find something more "manly."

This isn't wedding or relationship related, but I with just a few weeks before Christmas, I need to get more into the holiday spirit, and this adorable and easily crafted advent calendar seemed like a nice holiday project.

If A.P. and I hadn't already bought our chalkboard to display our menu and program, I would have totally done this:

Image via 100 Layer Cake

After all, it's super cute, and super easy and affordable. Oh well. There's always the next wedding. Just kidding.

How cute is this DIY engagement session? Our photographers rates for the engagement session are really affordable, so we tacked it on to our wedding package. But for those of you looking for engagement photos, but who can't afford a wedding photographer to take them, I'm loving the idea of asking someone you know who is a good photographer. (Plus look at the results! Fantastic!)

Images via The Wedding Chicks

And finally, I don't know if it's because my dad was in the hospital this week, or because when we asked my friend Sea Shell (obviously that's not her real name) to officiate the wedding yesterday she asked me how we were going to incorporate my being Indian, but this wedding was really speaking to me this week. It made me hope I do my father proud, but at the same time, despite it's beauty, I realized that kind of wedding wouldn't be me either. And it certainly wouldn't be A.P., the whitest white boy.

Images via The Wedding Chicks

Oh, Lord!

So ever since Thanksgiving when I announced that we had a date, my mom has been my biggest wedding confidante. It's gotten...weird. I'm actually shocked. But that's sort of my mom. One minute, she'll tell me she never thought I was the marrying kind, and the next she'll be emailing me suggestions (which she's done...more than once, and she even found Project Wedding!) Considering that the rest of my family is getting annoying about the whole wedding (this is why I wanted a surprise wedding, people), I am actually digging that my mom is getting really involved.

But then last night happened. I sent her the place cards I want to make for the wedding. Like most older people, my mother has beautiful penmanship, and so I thought she could help out and write the names on the cards. I figured it was a harmless, little DIY project that she could help with, and that way feel involved. She was excited, and started emailing me pictures of dresses (none of which are similar to the picture I sent her of the dress I'm contemplating having made). Still, that's okay, because she's getting into it, and we're bonding over it, and it's turning out to be nice. But then when we were talking wedding crap last night, she asked me if we had figured out who was going to marry us yet. I tried like hell to blow off the question, I really did. I even think I was successful, but I still had to listen to the speech.

You see, my family is REALLY Catholic. Not my siblings and myself, just my parents, my godmother, etc. REALLY Catholic. Like, my dad's sister was a nun Catholic. And my mom goes to church every Sunday, Catholic. And my godmother goes to church more than once a week, Catholic. When my nephew got baptized a few years ago, my brother and his wife chose to have it done in a Serbian Orthodox church, since that's what she is, and my mother told me, "That's okay. The Catholic church still recognizes that." So needless to say there were a lot of questions last night as to whether or not we were going to have a priest perform the ceremony or what. I tried to get out of the conversation at first by saying, "Well, A.P.'s not Catholic." But she quickly replied, "Neither was your grandfather when he married your grandmother. Neither was your aunt when she and your uncle got married." Wow. What do you even reply to that kind of mom logic? She then asked me if A.P. would be opposed to having a priest perform the ceremony. I actually don't think he would, even though he is an atheist, but I would. I don't want a Catholic ceremony. And, what I didn't tell my mom, and what I'm not going to tell her is that we are having dinner with a friend this Thursday and asking her to perform the ceremony.

That's right. I lied to mother. If that doesn't get you sent to hell, then I really don't know what does (you know, not including things like murder). We already decided a while ago that we were going to ask a friend of mine who I've known since I was 14 to perform the ceremony. There are a lot of reasons for this decision, but the big one is that I want someone there who really knows A.P. and I, and more than any of my other friends, this friend is that person. She has hung out with just me and A.P. a ton of times in the past three and a half years. She always asks how he is doing. A couple of weeks ago, we went out with her, and she hadn't seen A.P. since his mother passed away. The first thing she did was give him a hug and tell him how sorry she was to hear about his mother passing. When I talked about getting married, she was the first person that I told, and she was so excited for us. She has helped me with so much in terms of wedding planning, and doing it all after she called off her own wedding about a year ago. She's one of my best friends, and the one who from day one made an effort to get to know A.P. and include him. I love her for that, and I know she knows both of us well enough to perform the ceremony. Plus, she lives where I live. I know there are some other friends I have who would be good for the job, too, but they don't live here and trying to coordinate that kind of thing is a big headache.

Anyway, I don't know how I'm going to break that to my mother. I'm thinking of lying my way through it. Or at least that's what I told A.P. last night. I told him that my plan right now is just to keep blowing it off when she asks about it. I'm going to keep saying, "Oh man, we haven't even talked about that." Then, the day of the wedding, I'm just going to have our friend be the officiant and not say a word. I know I'll have to answer questions, especially from my father and my godmother who are old and won't understand how that could possibly be legal, but no worries. I've got a lie for that, too. "Oh they allow people to become officers of the court now and perform wedding ceremonies. Cool, huh?" Yeah...this will work out great, right???

Even More Tragedy

Last weekend should have been a great weekend. A.P. and I were finally getting into our wedding planning: we were looking at the magazines (or he FINALLY was), we went to see the bakery we are going to try to book for the ceremony/reception, and we were feeling like things were finally looking up. My mother, who had had a surgery about a month earlier, was much closer to coming back to town (she had to go to Florida for the surgery). My brother, who had been in and out of the hospital for the past month, was finally looking, sounding and feeling better. But I should have known. Given that everything since our engagement has gone to shit, why wouldn't last weekend go to shit, too? So instead of a nice, quiet weekend, we had one filled with stress, more anxiety and drama, and tragedy.

It started on Saturday: my brother's medication was causing some serious side effects and he spent the whole day in the emergency room. Finally, he gave up and came back to our place (he had been staying with us for a couple of days). Then he went back to the emergency room the next day, got his medication organized and came back to our place again. He didn't get to our place until late, and we didn't end up going to bed until really late. The next morning at 7am, A.P.'s phone went off. Of course he didn't want to answer it, but in my experience phone calls at 7am are never good. This one proved no different...it was A.P.'s brother with the news that their mother had unexpectedly passed away. Though she was not in the best of health, her death still came as a shock.

We spent all day Sunday and all day Monday moping. We still kind of are...him more than me, of course. We will be traveling to Florida next week for the funeral. I still don't know what to feel. In some ways, I am completely heartbroken, but mostly because I won't get to know A.P.'s mother better. I really didn't know her that well, and am sad that my knowledge of her will be so limited. I'm also sad that A.P. won't have her by his side at our wedding, and that she won't ever get to meet our kids. I know he is sad about these things, too. In other ways, though, this tragedy has brought us closer together. Even though it's another stressor, and I've been snapping at him all day yesterday and today, I really got a glimpse of our ability to pull through tragedies, something we haven't done previously.

Anyway, despite my promises to get blogging again, I just wanted to let you all know that yet another terrible thing has happened that is preventing me from doing so. I do have so much to share, though! I'm hoping to make this a working weekend and bust ass and actually try to get AHEAD in my work so that I can really focus on having a life again, and one where my house is clean, my boyfriend feels loved and not like I'm giving more love and attention to my job, and one where I can go back to doing the things that I love and which make me sane (e.g. BLOGGING). We'll see if I can do it. So far, it's been a whole lot of talk...but there's always tomorrow (which is what I keep telling myself every time something crappy happens, which is almost every day at this point). Alright, I just wanted to post a quick update. Here's hoping that next time will bear better news.

Mommy Issues and The Great Write Way

Oh my goodness, you guys! I'm so sorry I've been such a bad blogger lately, but I'm finishing up my huge ass research project for my last grad class before I graduate in less than two weeks (woo! hoo!). Seriously...it's up to 63 pages so far, and it's not completely done yet. I still have to go through, edit it, and possibly add a little more depending on what feedback my professor gives me. Geesh. Anyway, my class ends this week, so my old friend, time, and I are looking forward to meeting again next week.

That being said, I'm feeling so uninspired by the wedding planning lately. I mean, I still read all my blogs, and find pretty ideas, and all that jazz, but I'm so...uninspired. I think maybe I overloaded too fast. My brain can't handle it all. It also doesn't help that many of my friends and family don't seem to give much of a shit. That's not completely true, but it's mostly true. I think it just seems exhausting planning all of this crap for people who don't even care. Two of my siblings eloped, and I'm starting to understand why more and more each day. I know I'll get back into it, but lately, it just proves frustrating.

I think, though, it comes down to this: I have a shitty family. I do. I always have, but it's become more and more apparent with my upcoming graduation, who barely anyone is coming to. Here's the deal: I graduate from graduate school on the 15th. I'm the only one in my family to have gone to graduate school, so you'd think it'd be a little bit of a big deal, right? Um, not so much apparently. I sent out invitations to various family members and a couple of friends, and so far the list of people who are coming is slim. It bums me out, because this has totally happened before with previous graduations or accomplishments in life.

So my mom is on a month long cruise, and "didn't know if she'd be back in time." Awesome. Btw, she technically could be back in time for my graduation, but she's playing this game with me where she's not telling me one way or another. She does this all the time. If she were a man, I'd have broken up with her by now! Then when I complained about this to my brother, he said, "Well it's a once in a lifetime opportunity for her to travel like that." To which (and this is why I love him sooooo much) A.P. replied, "Well it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her daughter graduate from grad school." My family's priorities are all screwed up. So you can see why I'm a bit bummed out. My graduation will be happy, I know it will, because I'll pick myself up by the boot straps, and be proud and happy, BUT it's also bittersweet. Life is filled with enough moments where people let you down. Those people shouldn't always be your family members.

I Should've Kept Smoking and Shut My Mouth

When I finished my undergrad studies, I was madly in love with a guy named Bob. Of course his name wasn't really Bob...we all know that...but it was just as plain and he was just as boring. I was madly in love with him, and like most of the men I was madly in love with in my youth, he wasn't as much in love with me. We went on many non-dates (those are the best!)...he low fived me at the end of most of them...we never kissed or touched in any kind of sexual way, even though everyone sensed the sexual tension between us. When I graduated college, we vowed to keep in touch, and we didn't at all. But I still held out hope that something would be different. Around the same time, I revealed to my family that I smoked (I don't anymore, so go fuck yourselves for temporarily judging me). So this is the background and this is the scene:

I'm sitting on the couch after having pitifully moved back home in an attempt to save money at the risk of losing any shred of sanity I may have running through my meatloaf of a brain. I'm smoking. My mom tells me I should quit, and I respond (thinking I'm being cute and clever, forgetting that my mom doesn't really love me and so doesn't really fear hurting my feelings), "I'll tell you what: When Bob asks me to marry him, I'll quit smoking." My mom's response? Easy: "Do you really think you're the marrying kind?"

Flash forward seven years, and I still wonder the same thing. I love my boyfriend so much it hurts sometimes. (Seriously...it hurts my side, and it happens more when it rains...what is that all about?) But I wonder a lot whether I'm giving up a part of myself for a relationship. I have always been independent, and taken care of myself. The past year I moved in with my current boyfriend, Apple Pie (because his real name is as American as apple pie), and it's been the hardest transition ever. I worry marriage will be harder, or that I'll be giving up part of myself. I worry more that I'll follow in my parents' footsteps and end up divorced. I don't have the most pro-marriage family, either. I know I'm going to get married and I'm really excited about that. I know that Apple Pie (A.P. from now on) is the best man there is, and I know he's going to be the best dad ever when we have kids. He's supportive and loving and I love him and want to be with him, but I can't shake the fear that I'm giving up some part of myself.

As kids we are told we can have it all: marriage, kids, career, more money than our parents had. I sometimes wonder...am I the only one feeling like this? This blog is an attempt to take a fresh stab at relationships and love. I love a good love story, and ours is one for the books, I think, but the difference between a good love story and a great love story is relatability. I hope that this blog will provide that.