It's Been So Long Since We Danced

First of all, I have to say (and I know it's not humble to say this), but yay me for FINALLY getting back into my blogging routine. Maybe it was because I was sick this week and took a day off work, but I finally had time to read and catch up on a lot of my old blogs, and can I just say, it's crazy how much has changed! Some people announced that they're pregnant, and some people wrapped up their first 100 days of marriage. So much happened, and it was so nice to get back to my old "friends," that it reminded me it had been forever since I did the blogging stuff I used to do...like the ol' Friday dance. So here it is...in all it's glory: a fabulous new Friday dance. Enjoy!

First, let's give my mom props for finding this wedding recap on Project Wedding. My mom sent it to me so I could read some tips this bride had for saving on my money, and it was worth the read (though I felt like we're already doing a lot of the things she suggested). But more importantly, it was my mother's first foray into the wedding blogosphere.

This made me crack up so hard, I almost peed a little.

The goal? To make A.P. more like this husband. Tell me you don't swoon when you read this story! Plus, one of the biggest reasons I read this blog (besides the craftiness of the mom) is because those kids are so freaking adorable!

A.P. and I already have our guest book idea figured out (we'll share more on that later), but if we didn't, I'm loving this idea featured on Victoria with Roses.

I secretly hope it rains so I get the opportunity to wear some kickass wellies like this bride.

I'm loving this poster and am tempted to buy A.P. one for his wedding gift. But I think I should find something more "manly."

This isn't wedding or relationship related, but I with just a few weeks before Christmas, I need to get more into the holiday spirit, and this adorable and easily crafted advent calendar seemed like a nice holiday project.

If A.P. and I hadn't already bought our chalkboard to display our menu and program, I would have totally done this:

Image via 100 Layer Cake

After all, it's super cute, and super easy and affordable. Oh well. There's always the next wedding. Just kidding.

How cute is this DIY engagement session? Our photographers rates for the engagement session are really affordable, so we tacked it on to our wedding package. But for those of you looking for engagement photos, but who can't afford a wedding photographer to take them, I'm loving the idea of asking someone you know who is a good photographer. (Plus look at the results! Fantastic!)

Images via The Wedding Chicks

And finally, I don't know if it's because my dad was in the hospital this week, or because when we asked my friend Sea Shell (obviously that's not her real name) to officiate the wedding yesterday she asked me how we were going to incorporate my being Indian, but this wedding was really speaking to me this week. It made me hope I do my father proud, but at the same time, despite it's beauty, I realized that kind of wedding wouldn't be me either. And it certainly wouldn't be A.P., the whitest white boy.

Images via The Wedding Chicks

It's Good to Be (Half-) Indian

photo of me!

One of my big dilemmas for the wedding (besides wondering where the, you know, money is coming from) is how to work in my heritage. First, let me explain. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I'm a half breed. That's right, a designer dog...though I prefer bitch. My mother is white...though I prefer bitch (I'm KIDDING...even though I complain, I do love my mom), and my father is Indian, as in India Indian. Dot...not feather. Though not really dot either since, you know, we're Catholic.

Anyway, I digress. The older I get, the more I embrace the fact that I'm Indian, er, half-Indian. I never really denied it growing up, but I like it more and more. I think that this stems from the fact that my dad is getting older and I'm more aware of his mortality, and also from my realization that there will be no more brown babies! I'm the last one!! Since A.P. is the whitest white boy, I assume that our babies will be the whitest white kids...with a mother who tans so dark she looks dirty. It kind of bums me out. I've told A.P. this before, too. Which is why I think at some point, I'll push harder for adoption. Mix it up. Can't be outnumbered. That's never good.

So I've always wondered how I will incorporate my Indian-ness into my big day, besides inviting my Indian best friend and my half breed family, that is. I always felt it was going to be this big challenge, and lately it seems that I'm, well, wrong. Indian is totally in! Who knew? Growing up it was all Apu and the quickie mart, Gandhi, smells like teen curry jokes. But then something happened...it started with the yoga craze, and then Madonna and her mendhi, and Gwen Stefani and her bindi, and then, then it became Slumdog Millionaire, and Kelly Kapoor. Now suddenly I see Indian inspired wedding cakes, and Indian weddings in 27 dresses! It's INSANE.

But here's the kicker...the terrible thing I almost don't want to admit. Now that it's trendy, it makes me want to incorporate it even less into our wedding. I mean, I was already on the fence, because even though it's who I am, it's not part of my personality. I mean it is, but not in any way that makes me feel I have to build a freaking wedding theme around it. Eh, who knows? Maybe I'll draw some saris on my freaking birds, and call it a day.


PS...Totally unrelated, but have you guys seen this commercial? It cracks me up!!

Sooooo don't have the bride gene

So, Sunday was the bridal expo. Oh. My. Gosh. Why did I walk away feeling like a bad person??? Then yesterday at work, I was telling a coworker that I went to the bridal expo and he said, "You're obsessed! You're not even engaged!" Again. Make me feel like a bad person. But now, day(s) later, I've scrubbed off the negativity, and have moved on. Now for the dirty details:

First, the bridal expo. I went with a friend who got married about three years ago. She had a very traditional, formal wedding/reception. Big white dress (Vera Wang), 200+ guest list (though she does have a big family), band, bridesmaids, the whole nine yards. So maybe I didn't pick the best person to go with. I felt very uncomfortable. Our budget will be nowhere near hers, and I hate everything about that kind of a wedding. However, I didn't want to trash talk all the...well, everything, actually, because I felt bad and thought it would offend her. And that soooo wasn't the goal. I'm happy she had the wedding she wanted, but it's not the wedding for me. Our wedding is going to focus on three things: our love for each other, our family, and our close friends. Good food, too, but those three things come before everything. I don't feel I will get that in a huge, traditional, WIC-controlled wedding.

So the bridal expo...total waste of my time. Plus I had to listen to sales pitch, after sales pitch. Why do I need a DJ who wears a paging system?? I was on the fence about doing the music ourselves, but after listening to (too) many DJs try to win me over with their unnecessary technology and high costs, I think we can swing it. Plus, since we do have such "indie" (for lack of a better word) music taste, I know we'll get to listen to what we want. I saw one dress I liked (see below), and got inspired by one cake (also see below). I'm half Indian, so the cake was a nice reminder of a small way I might be able to work in my cultural background (though on most days I feel it more necessary to work in personal taste than ethnicity, but that's just me).

photo by me!

photo by me!

Then the coworker comment...that made me just as antsy as all the people at the bridal expo asking me when my wedding date was, and then looking at me like I was crazy when I said I wanted to get married in the fall/winter. I said this for a few reasons:

1. 1. Typically I would like to marry in the fall/winter.
2. 2. I wanted to get an idea of what fall/winter pricings were like and if they were any different.
3. Fuck it, I didn't know what else to say.

Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but...I know that it might seem crazy to a lot of people that I'm so involved in wedding planning already even though I'm not engaged. However, it's not as if I'm crazy and just assume in some sort of stalkerish way that A.P. and I will get married. A.P. already knows he's going to ask me to marry him (and apparently so does half of my family, all of his family and several of my friends). We've talked about marriage and getting married in extraordinary detail, and I know he will ask me some time this year (he told me this). All that being said, the one thing we know for sure is that we don't want a long engagement. Unfortunately that's not a luxury had by many in this day and age. If A.P. and I want to have a short engagement, a small amount of planning needs to be done now, so that it can be executed quickly. A.P. is aware of my planning, and though he isn't super involved right now, he does chime in and we do have conversations about this stuff often. Plus he was well aware that I was going to the expo. He got Sunday afternoon drunk whilst doing chores around the house...he loved me being gone. (It's also funny that I've posted about drinking so much, because we never drink really.)

I hate that I have to explain my dating, living my life, getting married situation to people. We don't do things the way other people do things. We live by our own rules and that's what I love about A.P., that he allows me the freedom to create our own path, our own story, and that all we consider is if we will be happy in the end...and I know deep in my hearts of hearts that we will.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost