Wedding Recap: Cocktail Hour & Ceremony

We decided to have a cocktail hour before the ceremony, both for our own benefit and that of our guests. We figured it would help out with our nerves a little to have a drink before the ceremony, and it would give us time to mingle with guests so that we weren't stuck running around throughout the reception (we wanted to dance a bunch...duh). Since we were running so late, we didn't get to have the cocktail hour we wanted, but it was still nice to mingle a bit before the big event. I skipped my cocktail dress altogether and stuck with the wedding dress throughout what was left of our cocktail hour.

Our ceremony was short, only lasting around 30 minutes. We had a friend marry us, which was awesome and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to have a non-denominational ceremony. It felt so intimate knowing that the person marrying us and joining us together knew us so well. I wrote most of the ceremony myself, and what I couldn't write on my own I borrowed from Judith Johnson's The Wedding Ceremony Planner, which was a life saver! We had a beautiful moment of silence for those who could not be with us, and those who had passed away, especially A.P.'s mother. We also had three readings, e.e. cummings's "i carry your heart," "Our Union" by Hafiz, and a stanza from a French poem called "The Eternal Song" by Rosemonde Gerard. My childhood French teacher translated the stanza for us. While the other two poems were chosen for a reason, this poem in particular held the most meaning, as on our first Valentine's Day, A.P. gave me a necklace that features a line from this poem. The line reads, "Je t'aime plus qu'hier moins que demain," which translates to, "I love you more today than yesterday." I have three brothers and A.P. has two, so we kind of split readings and toasts between our family members, and the other friend who gave a reading was the Half-breed Swede, aka my wedding life saver!

Here's some more photos of our big day! Again, all photos were taken by our amazing photographer, Theresa Scarbrough. Enjoy!

View from Lovely across the street

Besides all the invitations' address labels, my mother also wrote ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that had writing on it, including all the wood veneer escort cards, all the signage, and she wrote and designed our program (seen above) and menu, which we posted on a double-sided antique chalkboard I found on eBay

One of the many beautiful chalkboards that Lovely designed and had posted around the bakery

Detail of Lovely's chalkboard, we loved that they even managed to give the groom a mustache on a stick, which were some of the props we made for the photo booth!

One of the centerpieces - Each centerpiece was completely unique and featured vintage objects, (all thrifted, found on eBay, and purchased on etsy) on vintage trays with some type of unique vessel for flowers. We also had antique salt and pepper shakers at every table.

One of the place settings - I handmade each place card using a DIY project I found on Scissor Variations. They turned out wonderful and everyone loved them! We also thrifted all of the dinner plates for the wedding. The only commonality that the plates had were the approximate diameter and the fact that they featured a floral pattern of some kind. They looked so beautiful on the tables with the centerpieces!

Some additional place settings

Inspired by a past post, we created a photo display of various family members' wedding photos and photos of us as children and as adults, together. While some photos were framed and displayed nicely on the shelves of this lovely antique armoire, the rest of the photos were hung with gold paperclips on beautiful yarn. Interspersed between the photos were various sized hearts cut from lovely floral craft paper that we used throughout the wedding.

Another centerpiece - In addition to vintage trays, we used a lot of vintage cake and apothecary jars to hold what I kept calling "small worlds," which were little moss filled worlds with vintage objects carefully displayed. They were all fun to make, and I tried very hard to only purchase things I knew I would reuse in our own house afterward. So now, we have a house adorned with beautiful vintage objects that remind us of our special day.

One of our tinier guests checks out Lovely's vintage typewriter

That's me with my mother (in the middle) and C-Blonde, the woman who helped us design our invitations

Another set table/centerpiece

Centerpiece Detail

A.P. greets the guests as the enter the tent for the ceremony

Lovely ladies in pashminas

Cuties!

A.P.'s vows and our ring pillow, which I handmade to look like the image on our RSVP cards

Closeup, A.P.'s vows

My father walking me down the aisle

A.P. sees me as I walk down the aisle

We're all laughing because my father just told A.P. "She's all yours now!"

My brother, who read e.e. cummings's "i carry your heart"

Our good friend (and my friend since high school) who married us

A.P.'s older brother who read "Our Union" by Hafiz, which we told the audience that A.P. chose because he liked that it had the word potatoes in it (a joke he cracked when we were going over readings)

The Half-breed Swede! She read the stanza from Rosemonde Gerard poem

After A.P. read his vows, he turned to the audience and apologized for forgetting his pants, which made everyone laugh (and was the moment that 99.9% makes up for the fact the he forgot his pants to begin with...the .1% is reserved because I'm a woman, and we don't forget)

I love the look on my face as I hand back my vows, which screams "Get these things away from me!" I couldn't help it...they made me cry!

Ring time!

A.P. kept wiggling his finger for the ring, but I wouldn't give it to him until I had recited the vows.

After our friend pronounced us husband and wife, I squealed, "We're married!"

Wedding Recap: Getting Ready

One of my closest friends and I dance in the giant shower at The Omni

Finally! It's here! Over the next week or so, I'll be recapping our wedding. First up is the story of why I was an hour late to my own wedding, and then some of Theresa Scarbrough's beautiful photos of us getting ready on the big day. Enjoy!

The day of our wedding, we woke up early and got massages. It was so nice to do something just the two of us, and frankly we needed the hour of relaxation before our big day. From there, I headed off with my friend, the Half-breed Swede, to get our hair and makeup done. We didn't have a wedding party, but the Half-breed Swede had come in a little over a week ahead of time to help me get everything ready (best wedding gift ever!), and she decided to get her hair and makeup done with me. After hair and makeup, we came back to the apartment and picked up A.P. and headed to our hotel downtown.

We decided to get ready at The Omni Hotel with some of our family and friends. We booked a small suite, but when we arrived, and they found out we were getting married, they upgraded us to the Presidential Suite! So awesome! The room was gigantic and because we were already running a bit late, after checking out the digs, we started getting ready immediately. The plan was to take some photos with our photographer, Theresa Scarbrough, around the city on the way to Lovely, where the entire event was to take place. Cocktail hour was from 6-7, and the ceremony was right after, from 7-7:30. We planned on getting to Lovely between 5:30 and 5:45 so that we could make sure everything was set up properly, and then I was supposed to go change out of my wedding dress into a cocktail dress before the guests arrived. I was planning on wearing a beautiful black cocktail dress, and then right before the ceremony switching back into my wedding dress.

A.P. and I set about getting ready, with me in the bedroom area with my gals, and him in the front area with his brothers. However, about ten minutes into getting ready, A.P. knocked on my door and asked me if I had his pants. I didn't. Turns out he had forgotten his pants at our apartment! He jumped into a cab and told the driver he'd give him $100 to get him there and back to the hotel as soon as possible. On a good day, with very little traffic it's about 20 minutes from our apartment to downtown, but of course this day traffic was bad. It seemed like it took A.P. forever to get there and back! Meanwhile, I was stewing at the hotel with my friends. I was pretty angry, because our plan was to only take about 30 minutes to get ready. Really, I had my hair/makeup done already, and just needed to slip on my dress. A.P. just had to get on his suit and then we would be all set. Instead, A.P. didn't get back to the hotel until the time we were supposed to be arriving at Lovely. We ended up showing up to Lovely at around 6:45, an hour late, and with no photos taken in between.

Upon arrival, an old friend (and the designer of our beautiful invitations) came up to me and told me I had to snap out of it because the night was going to go by so fast that I needed to try to enjoy every moment. I have to say, that was the best advice I got! And I recently had a friend get married and I passed on the same advice. It is so true. I've never had anything that lasted so long feel like it lasted only an hour. And I've never had such a natural high! It was an amazing night and next time I post, I'll share with you what A.P. did that made him forgetting his pants almost worth it (almost!). Now, enjoy some photos of us getting ready at The Omni.

The Presidential Suite at The Omni - Upgrade!

They sent up champagne and chocolate covered strawberries!

B-Mac, whose mother made my dress, checks out the ginormous tub in the master bath (yes...there were TWO bathrooms!)

A.P. and I check out the grand piano

The dress! I love how ethereal it looks in this photo!

My two shoes - The black ones were supposed to be worn with my cocktail dress, but I never ended up wearing them.

The Half-breed Swede adjusts my sash

Squeezing my big ol' feet into my pretty green shoes

Putting on the necklace A.P. gave me on our first Valentine's Day. It reads, "Je t'aime plus qu'hier, moins que demain." It comes from a poem by Rosemonde Gerard that we had my old French teacher translate, which the Half-breed Swede read during the ceremony.

A.P.'s niece plays the piano while I get ready (and while A.P. is in a cab on his way to retrieve his pants)

A.P.'s brother had to leave, but left this memorable note behind

Tying the rings to the ring pillow

I made the ring pillow. The design matches the image on the RSVP cards.

The groom's gift: It looks kind of girly, but matched the paper we used throughout the wedding. I got A.P. an Up inspired grape soda boutonniere, and a trip for two on a hot air balloon - something he has always wanted to do, and which coincidentally went well with the boutonniere

A.P.'s tie and a pocket watch given to him by his late mother

A.P. buttons his cuffs as he gets ready

B-Mac helps A.P. adjust his vest

A.P. fixes his beautiful hair
The rest of the note from A.P's brother...that's good advice!

First look!

A.P. opens up his groom's gift (and loves it!)

Quick kiss!

The boutonniere on A.P.'s bespoke suit! It looked so good with his tie and shirt, which had purple pinstripes.

In the elevator in The Omni, on our way to get married!

I love this photo! Kissing in the elevator.

We took a cab to Lovely. The perfect ride for the city girl since birth!

In the cab on the way to Lovely

The cost to go get married: $8.85 + tip

Where I'm At

Right now, I am working on so many things, I can't even begin to blog, but I feel I have to. I am in the process of gathering together the final wedding posts so we can MOVE ON. I still love to look at the wedding photos, but it's becoming a song I've listened to far too many times. The other issue is that A.P. and I are having some problems now. I am not going to get into it, but suffice it to say, we are not in the best place. I know some of you out there are probably wondering how that can be since we just got married, but first of all, we've been together for four years, so this isn't just developing, and second of all, we've had A LOT of stress on our relationship in the last year besides the wedding and getting married: parents having surgeries, siblings getting divorced, siblings being in the hospital, parents passing away, job losses for both of us (and mine was my dream job, and it's been an ugly situation). Most days I feel like I just can't take it anymore. I don't know where it goes from here, though some days I wish I was psychic because then I would.

The other thing is that I'm in a bad place friend-wise. I have no one to talk to about this stuff. And I can't talk to A.P., because lately, we can't talk. I just had a nervous breakdown because I couldn't find my bra. I literally pounded my fist into the wall three times out of anger over something so stupid. And then I just started crying and losing my shit (and throwing a pile of A.P.'s clothes all over the bedroom for no other reason than I'm sick of there being clothes everywhere). I'm so...angry, and sad, and I feel so alone. I know this is just a dark day and that tomorrow will be better, but I've just never been in a place like this in my life. I've always had a strong network of close friends who I could talk to about anything, and I don't have that right now. Everyone is scattered, people I was once really close to, I'm not at all anymore (which is a whole depressing thing unto itself, and was the cause of a lot of stress and frustration to me last year around this time), and though I have a lot of friends, I'm not really close to any of them. Let's put it this way, I used to have friends that would call me back right away or always pick up. Now I have friends that call me back whenever they remember or get around to it. It's depressing. Perhaps some of this I brought on myself by being with A.P., too. I don't know. The other thing is the new friends I thought I made from the job I had this past year, I'm beginning to realize aren't really my friends. Their lives are still tied to that job, and I'm not. So I'm beginning to feel out of place there, too.

I don't know if there is a solution to this. I don't know if this is normal, either. I hear a lot about the first year of marriage being the hardest, but we don't feel any different, so is this really that? I have no idea. All I know is that where I'm at is someplace I'd rather not be anymore. I long for better times with A.P. more akin to how we used to be. I long for close friends who I can call up any old time and share my latest gasp moment with. I long for the happiness I felt exactly one year ago before this shit storm that I thought we would/could weather, but perhaps aren't really doing such a hot job at weathering after all.

Bickering

My pets, what do you and your significant other bicker about the most? I would say hands down, A.P. and I bicker the most over cleaning. We bicker a lot. Note I'm using the word bicker, and not fight, because I feel like fighting is feelings getting hurt and saying things you can't take back, whereas nagging at each other in one minute spurts about something mundane, and then in the next breath kissing and eating dinner together and talking as if two minutes ago never happened falls more under the heading of bickering. That being said, we bicker all the time about housework. Two years of living together and it's still an issue.

Lately, I've been hardcore cleaning and redecorating the place and everything's a hot jumble of a mess, but it's coming together slowly. I pitch in some effort a bit at a time, so really the place has been a hot mess all summer, but is improving over time. Still, the place looking like this has led to some serious bickering. I keep waiting for the bickering to end, and the cleaning to be equally divided, and all these problems to stop so that we can just be, but it seems they never do. So I ask, do you all bicker about cleaning? How did you all figure it out?

The Best Part About Wedding Planning

Hands down, the best part about wedding planning was our tasting. It was the least stressful, most romantic thing ever. From the very beginning of our engagement, having good food at our reception was a high priority. It was very important to us to find a venue that allowed us the option of bringing in whatever caterer we wanted. When we found Lovely, who not only let us bring in any caterer we wanted, but let us do pretty much anything we wanted, we thought we were the luckiest people on the planet.

When it came down to food, we decided we wanted our menu to reflect our tastes, and settled on French food pretty early on. We met with Lovely to discuss some early preliminaries and also discussed having them cater our wedding. We decided to do a tasting with them, figuring that if we hated it or it wasn't what we had in mind, we could choose another caterer. They designed a menu for us which would probably best be described as rustic French cuisine, with Alsatian-specific fare. When I was very young, I studied abroad in France, specifically in a tiny little town in the Vosges mountains. I am obsessed with Alsatian cuisine, and one of the things we realized early on in talking to Brooke, one of the owners of Lovely, was that she and the other owner, Gina, both loved this particular Alsatian specialty that not everyone has always heard of: tarte flambée. Cheesy as it may sound, I'm a big believer in signs, and the fact that she knew about this dish was a sign. This was the dish I made for A.P. the night we got engaged, and it's one of my favorite things in the world. I might even put it on a last meal list! Suffice it to say, we were sufficiently pumped for our tasting.

Back in January, on a cold day, we went to Lovely after they had closed and had, basically, a private dinner for two, complete with champagne, which Lovely provided! It was so awesome, and by the end, it was decided that they would cater our wedding. And apparently we made a good decision, because everyone has told us how good the food was.


They set up the table to somewhat mimic the way it would look at the event itself. We decided we would cover the tables in this brown craft paper, that we would stamp with the images of the two birds from the front of the RSVP cards. Since we thrifted all the dinner plates, Lovely had us bring in a few so that we could properly see how our dinner would be plated. So really the only thing missing was a centerpiece.


A.P. was ready to eat before we even got there. We both starved ourselves all day in anticipation of the night's big meal.


Lovely's version of tarte flambée was prepared on a puff pastry, but was just as delicious!




The salad they put on the menu was composed of mixed greens, apples, gruyere, and brioche croutons, topped with a mustard vinaigrette. A.P. is not a fan of veggies, but he downed this salad with gusto.


The napkins were going to be a mix of white and blue cloth napkins held together with clothespins. So cute!


The main course was Coq au Riesling, served in individual crocks. The coq au riesling had a combination of leeks, celery, carrots, potatoes, and the chicken. It was so yummy...and hot! The glazed carrots plated here with the crock was the side dish we ended up picking, though they offered us several options.


They plated the main course on some of the thrifted china we had been collecting. It was nice to see how the dishes would look with the plated entree.



Finally, the meal concluded with dessert. Having a wedding in a bakery definitely puts some high expectations on the desserts, but Lovely exceeded our expectations with their spread. It included mini apple pies, mini peanut butter fluff pies with a meringue top, coconut macaroons, and vanilla macarons with a chocolate ganache filling.


They also brought us a plate of various cupcakes, including carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, red velvet, chocolate filled with raspberry and topped with chocolate buttercream, vanilla cupcakes with vanilla buttercream, chocolate with vanilla buttercream, and my personal favorite, lemon cupcakes filled with lemon curd, and topped with a lemon buttercream. So yummy!

By the end, A.P. wasn't even sure that he could try a dessert, he was so full. We split a cupcake, had a cookie each, and called it a night. Lovely was kind enough to box the rest up for us.

All in all, it was one of the best moments of planning the wedding, and a night to remember. It also made us look forward to the wedding itself, and the slew of desserts we would have in our dessert buffet. Our final decision included: mini apple pies, mini peanut butter fluff pies, mini lemon meringue pies, the almond based macarons, and the coconut macaroons, vanilla/vanilla cupcakes, raspberry filled chocolate cupcakes, lemon curd filled lemon cupcakes, and the red velvet cupcakes. Plus, we had a small cake for cutting that we decided to make vanilla/vanilla. Too much, but sooooo good!!

A Dress, A Dress, To Find a Dress (Prt. 2)

Hello, my lovelies! I'm so sorry I didn't post the rest of this last Friday. I was, instead, violently ill all weekend. It was such a blast! We had plans to rent a Zipcar and go to IKEA and other fun stores Saturday, and I still had to do it (I'm the driver on record for our Zipcar account) and I felt like poop. I carried Gatorade and Pepto with me the whole time. So lame. Anyway, I'm feeling somewhat better today and figured I better get cracking on the rest of this post!

When last we left off, I had found a solution to my wedding dress dilemma, in that my best friend from high school, B-Mac, had told me her mother would be willing to make the dress. So awesome! I knew that B-Mac's mother was talented because in high school she made B-Mac's prom dress. I remember scoffing when B-Mac told me her mom was making her wedding dress, too. I remember thinking, "How lame! To have your mother make your prom dress!" But then B-Mac showed up, and the dress was stunning! I ate my thoughts, and filed away the information that B-Mac's mother made a mean dress.

B-Mac's mother and I looking over patterns at Fishman's

After talking to B-Mac's mother about what I wanted in a dress (the J. Crew Daphne dress, basically), we decided to meet at a Chicago fixture, Fishman's Fabrics shortly after Christmas. Now, I had done some online research and managed to scrounge up a couple of patterns that had features of the Daphne dress, so when we met, I brought those to the table. We decided she would combine the top from one pattern, the bottom from another, and use the waist height and some other details from a third. B-Mac's mother took my measurements, we looked at some fabric, and she explained to me about fabric weight, and type, and we did some looking around. Then we went to JoAnn Fabric, and she bought some practice material. The plan was that over the next month or so, she would make a practice dress for me to try on, so that we could ensure fit. Then, she would make any adjustments necessary, and make the final version of the dress in the final fabric we bought. I was to purchase the patterns and have them shipped directly to her. The wedding was about three months away. Sounds like great plan, right?

Measuring for the skirt length

Here's what went right about this plan: nothing. First, she received the patterns, but realized that she wouldn't be able to piece them together the way we had discussed. While I was blissfully thinking about the hilarious pictures B-Mac and I would take of me trying on my black and gold fabric practice dress, B-Mac's mother was waiting to hear from me...but I didn't know that. She had told me she would call me in a few weeks when the dress was done. When I started to not hear back from her, I called B-Mac and gently asked her if she had heard anything. She said no, but told me that she would talk to her mom and get back to me. Finally I heard from B-Mac's mother directly, and she told me she really believed there was a pattern out there, that it was just a matter of finding it. So, we decided she would go pattern hunting, email me some options, and I would re-choose/order a new pattern. She would make the practice dress, and then we would continue as previously discussed. We were now down to about two months.

More measurements at Fishman's

B-Mac's mother sent me the patterns she found, but I hated all of them. Instead, we decided that I would go with one of my original choices, which is picture below. I would use the short-sleeved version, and we would use a lighter weight fabric to avoid such a full skirt. Instead of lace, we decided we would use a chiffon layer over the dress material. My sash, which would help give this dress the look of the empire waist that the Daphne has, would be in a green material. I had found my shoes, so matching the green fabric was my only concern. B-Mac's mother was to work on the practice dress, and in the mean time, I was to either find my final dress fabric on my own, or with her after the practice dress was made. Still about two months remaining.

The pattern we ended up choosing...my dress would look
like the one in the lower right corner

My mother ended up finding out about a fabric outlet on the southwest side that is supposedly famous for its low prices and massive selection. We decided to go there, and then we would pick out the fabric. That didn't happen. I could tell my mother didn't want to pick out the fabric, that she felt uncomfortable about making a decision without really knowing what the pattern looked like/required. We did narrow it down to a few options, though, and matched some green fabric to my shoes. The trip was also uncomfortable because I could tell my mother did not approve of me having my dress made. She was really pushing me to go try on some dresses. She kept saying, "The pattern always looks one way and the dress another. Nine times out of ten, you put the thing on and you hate it." Just what I needed to hear, right? After all how much time was remaining? Just six weeks. Had the practice dress been fitted? Nope. Was the practice dress even done? Nope. Was I worried? I'll admit now that I was worried. I bit my tongue and the next weekend I purchased my final fabric with B-Mac's mother. We did an off-white crepe back satin for the dress, a nice chiffon for the layer on top, and green crepe back satin for the sash. We bought some nice material for the lining and called it a day. B-Mac's mother was to use the matte, soft side of the crepe back satin for the dress, so it would both appear soft and hang softly around me, making the skirt not as full, and the sash would be the shiny side of the green crepe back satin. I hoped it would be beautiful, and not as my mother predicted, not at all what I wanted.

Gotta make sure to write this shit down!

The only one I would really admit my concerns to then was A.P. I was also worried about what he would wear, too. He hadn't gone and tried on any type of suit yet. He hadn't even thought about it really. I pictured us marrying in jeans and t-shirts. I swallowed my fears, and moved on with planning. A.P. decided I should come up with a backup plan...just in case. I yelled at A.P. about finding what he was going to wear.

Then, more bad luck. A.P. finally found a place where he could get a suit custom made, but even an expedited suit would still need about six weeks. He was cutting it close. We took his measurements and sent them off to the company. Then, B-Mac's mother got really sick. I still hadn't tried on a practice top, and had pretty much stopped nagging her. I didn't want to be a Bridezilla, and I decided that she knew when the wedding was and either the dress would be done, or it wouldn't, and we'd figure out the money stuff later. About three weeks before the wedding, B-Mac's mother came to my workplace, and in the public women's bathroom, I tried on a practice top...that didn't fit. At this point, we were down to about three weeks. Can you handle it??

So...when did I get my dress? The day before my wedding. That's right people. THE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING. I have to admit that I was pretty calm about all of this. I know that's easy to say, but people actually told me they were amazed at how cool I was. The secret was that I had a backup plan. During the cocktail hour before the ceremony, I was to wear a black cocktail dress, and I loved it. I loved the way it fit, the way it looked, and the style of the dress. So I decided that if the wedding dress was not done in time, I would just get married in my LBD. Many of my female friends were shocked that I would deign to possibly get married in black, but I really didn't care. At one point, I was eyeballing a green vintage number, so I wasn't obsessed with wearing white or anything. Plus I figured what else could I do? I had zero time, and few options. I just had to be okay with it.

In the end, the dress was beautiful. While I would have loved another fitting to fix a few, small details, overall the dress was everything I imagined. It wasn't exactly the J. Crew Daphne, but it was definitely my own version, and I loved it. It had a vintage look to it that reflected the overall wedding, and you could wear it very simply. It was effortless, elegant, and arrived just in the nick of time. As did A.P.'s suit, which arrived the week before the wedding, and also fit perfectly. All in all, though stressful as hell, it all worked out for the best. Phew la la!

First and final fitting!