It's been ages since we had a Marriage Mondays post, eh? I think it's high time we fixed that!
I can honestly say that whenever I see lists giving tips for a long lasting marriage, I read them with intense curiosity. Then, I wonder if my marriage will succeed or fail based on my closeness to adhering to the list. This is author Lydia Netzer's list of 15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years. If your goal is just 15 years, this will get you at least that far. After that, it would seem you're on your own. : )
The best advice on here, though, is #13, which states, "Bitch to his mother, not yours." Ms. Netzer explains, "His mother will forgive him. Yours never will." To be honest, I'd never really thought about it that way. A.P.'s mother passed away a few years ago, but A.P. has a step-mother who is very, very nice. I find that when I complain to his father and step-mother, they chuckle and say, "Yup, that sounds about right!" They get it. When I complain to my mother, she sides with and worries about me (when she's not trying to interrupt me to talk about herself, that is). I don't know why I never thought about this before. But it's good advice and it's advice I'm trying to follow.
Now, when I'm frustrated with A.P., I try not to tell my family. I will sometimes tell my friends, but I try to tell his friends or family instead. It's an amazingly small trick that really does work!
Do you complain about your significant other to your family or friends? Would you try this trick?
P.S. What's your number one complaint about your significant other? Mine is procrastination with A.P. He's the worst procrastinator EVER.
P.P.S. Check out NTPK and my other endeavor today for some other posts from my brain. :)
Lydia's list is brilliant!!! I've been married 15 years and didn't know a lot of these truths until about 1-1/2 years ago. I have since stopped complaining to all of my family. Sadly, my mom still hasn't forgiven him for all the years she was my go-to girl for complaining. But I'm working on that by practicing #5, mostly in front of her! Haha!
ReplyDeleteI don't complain to his mother either, because she sticks up for him. So I complain to a few very close friends who have "signed" the husband pact with me. I think a lot of times, they love him more than I do. I like seeing him through their eyes!
Since you don't know him that well, I'll tell you my favorite thing about him: Eric is brilliant at keeping the peace with people that I want to strangle!
Thanks for this post. Marriage is important. I'm so glad you agree!