Marriage Mondays: Complaining to the Right People

It's been ages since we had a Marriage Mondays post, eh?  I think it's high time we fixed that!

I can honestly say that whenever I see lists giving tips for a long lasting marriage, I read them with intense curiosity.  Then, I wonder if my marriage will succeed or fail based on my closeness to adhering to the list.  This is author Lydia Netzer's list of 15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years.  If your goal is just 15 years, this will get you at least that far.  After that, it would seem you're on your own.  : )

The best advice on here, though, is #13, which states, "Bitch to his mother, not yours."  Ms. Netzer explains, "His mother will forgive him. Yours never will."  To be honest, I'd never really thought about it that way.  A.P.'s mother passed away a few years ago, but A.P. has a step-mother who is very, very nice.  I find that when I complain to his father and step-mother, they chuckle and say, "Yup, that sounds about right!"  They get it.  When I complain to my mother, she sides with and worries about me (when she's not trying to interrupt me to talk about herself, that is).  I don't know why I never thought about this before.  But it's good advice and it's advice I'm trying to follow.

Now, when I'm frustrated with A.P., I try not to tell my family.  I will sometimes tell my friends, but I try to tell his friends or family instead.  It's an amazingly small trick that really does work!

Do you complain about your significant other to your family or friends?  Would you try this trick?

P.S. What's your number one complaint about your significant other?  Mine is procrastination with A.P.  He's the worst procrastinator EVER.

P.P.S. Check out NTPK and my other endeavor today for some other posts from my brain.  :)

(Someecard via here)

GOAL!!! (A List Update)

It's been a looooooong time since I updated you all on my list for 2012. Seeing as how today is the first day of fall, it seems like a good time to do a quick update. Here we go!

In Solidarity

Tomorrow at 12pm in Union Park, there will be a massive Chicago Teachers Union (CTU) rally in Union Park.  The purpose of the rally is to show solidarity with the CTU in our fight for a fair contract.

The CTU has been on strike for the past five days and in addition to fighting for a fair contract, it has been protesting many problems in the public education system here in Chicago, including: the mayor-appointed school board; the use of TIF money to fund neighborhood projects like the building of a Hyatt hotel on the south side by Penny Pritzker, who controls the Hyatt hotel chain and is on the Board of Education (a clear conflict of interest); the constant turning around of neighborhood schools; the slow and steady privatization of the public education system through the expansion of charter schools and closing of neighborhood schools; the use of standardized tests to evaluate teachers; and, of course, the slow and steady plot to destroy labor unions in this country and eradicate a middle, working class (see Wisconsin, Indiana, New Jersey).

These are things I am very passionate about and am baffled every day when I realize that people simply don't know about these things (and the media does not report the truth at all).  I can't tell you how many people are seriously misinformed.  This past week, I've watched more people talk about and discuss the state of education in this country than I have in the past six years.  It's amazing.    We've started a revolution and I hope it continues to spread throughout this country.

It's also been nice to really get out there and talk to the community about these things.  And while there have certainly been a lot of haters, there are also a TON of supporters.  I hope you're one of them.  If you are, I am asking you to show your solidarity with the CTU by reposting the above image, and link this post to your blog tomorrow, Saturday September 15, 2012 in support of the CTU (if you don't read this until after and want to show your solidarity, you can repost at a later date, too.  We appreciate the support no matter the day.).  Then, leave a comment below and I will link your blog below.  Please pass this along to your friends who blog, too.

Thanks again for the support all week!  I appreciate the emails and comments!

Bettencourt Chase stands with the CTU

(Stand for Public Education designed by Paul Kjelland via Justseeds)

I Didn't Choose the Thug Life, It Chose Me

PRODUCT AND PROTECTOR OF PUBLIC EDUCATION

Stand Up!

I need help in getting the word out about our historic fight for a fair contract and for the public school system.  Help spread the word about our fight by posting one (or both) of these images on your Facebook, Twitter, Google +, or Pinterest.  Are you wearing red today?

(CTU Banner designed by Martin Ritter via Fred Klonsky; Stand for Public Education designed by Paul Kjelland via Justseeds)

A New Label

There are many truths I wish I could tell you, things I feel I keep from you to both protect myself and also maintain the specific content I aim to create for Not the Marrying Kind.  For the most part, this arrangement has never bothered me.  For various reasons, I'm most comfortable writing under a pseudonym.  But if you've been reading since the beginning or if you blog-stalked the shit out of this blog when you first found it and just read post after post after post from way back to figure me out (can you tell yet that I do this myself???), then you know that slowly, but surely, I've revealed parts of myself here.  I started this blog in 2009 and I would only post a portion of my face in images.  It wasn't until was actually got engaged that I posted pictures of us on the blog.  Back then, it was more sporadic.  Now, I would say I post pictures of myself fairly frequently.  That sort of gradual trust that I built in you, my few, but lovely readers, is why I feel that I can now reveal another truth.  A big one.  And one, which, for the most part, I try very hard to avoid on this blog, but which, for reasons I will soon explain, I can no longer keep to myself: my job.

Before I reveal that truth, though, I want to talk about my absence and why, for a while, I think, I may need to not talk about things like weddings.  Currently, I have 22 posts drafted, 10 of which are from this year (the rest span three years!).  This year, like no other, I have struggled with writer's block.  When I stopped blogging the last time, it wasn't because I wanted to, it was because I had zero time to write.  This time around, I'm certainly shorter on time, but I also have felt creatively tapped.  And I couldn't figure out why.  Certainly, being burned out at work was part of it, but I've blogged through that in the past.  Why was this different?  Not that long ago, I had the realization that it was because I didn't want to blog about weddings anymore.  I mean, I did...I do, but I felt very pigeonholed by the blog.  I love planning parties and events and I love weddings, but I felt like I didn't want to talk about those things anymore.  Instead, I wanted so badly to talk about the one thing I sort of vowed to always keep private.

There are many reasons why I don't talk about my job here, the biggest of which is privacy.  I don't talk about my job to both maintain my own privacy and the privacy of those with whom I work.  I also don't talk about my job because this blog was, for so long, my distraction.  I needed some things that were separate and Not the Marrying Kind was exactly that: a place that had nothing to do with my day. Instead, it was a frothy, wedding-filled wonderland filled with amazing people that I never wanted to leave.

But reality has kicked in big time over the past year and my frothy, wedding-filled wonderland no longer does the trick.  Instead, all of my waking hours seem to be filled with job-related thoughts.  My internet time is focused a lot more on learning more about my job and its history.  And I'm feeling more creatively-fueled by an accidental side-effect of my job: activism.

You see, as of tomorrow, Monday September 10, 2012, I will be temporarily unemployed.  I don't know when I will return to work.  The future of my career is in the hands of others right now and all I can do is hope that everything works out for the best.  Why is my life in such limbo?  Because I am teacher and a member of the Chicago Teachers Union (CTU).

Tomorrow, for the first time in 25 years, the CTU will strike.  I left work on Friday and will return tomorrow only to picket outside.  A lot of people have been asking me how I feel about striking and I've been replying, "I never feel bad about doing the right thing."

Whatever you've heard in the media, this strike is the right thing.  For the last two years, teachers in the CTU have been disgraced by the local government and painted as lazy, greedy people who don't give a damn about the students.  I am telling you that the reality could not be further from the truth.  And so, I've decided I have to do my part to change how teachers are portrayed.

I've started blogging over here.  That doesn't mean I won't be blogging here, too.  For now, though, I need to be there.  I need to be standing strong with my colleagues and telling the world the reality of my job.  And so, I'm adding a new label here: education.  I probably won't post too much under it since I have a new outlet for that, but it fills in yet another detail about who I am away from this blog.

As a show of solidarity, I'm asking that you please wear red tomorrow (Monday 9/10).  It is the color of our union and is a small, but meaningful gesture.  If you are in the Chicago area and would like to know more about how you can help out, please feel free to email me.

In solidarity!