Guest Blogger: Not a Bride Yet

Yesterday, you read a post from one of my very first readers. Today, I'd like to introduce you to the other of my very first readers, Mimi, from Not a Bride Yet. Mimi was married almost two years ago (goes by so fast!), and since then she's been busy with a new project: her baby boy, Henry. I was excited when she, too, agreed to write a post here about the hectic life of a new mom. Lord knows I've been thinking about these things lately. And there are days when I think that there's no way in hell I could raise a kid and do it the perfect way I imagine it in my head, plus work 60-70 hours a week, plus blog, plus, you know, tend to my husband. Here, Mimi explains how you give up some of those ideals, and you get real. Enjoy!

so happy to be inspired by marty to write a post! it's been a while. i know that you, marty, are not in the same place in life as my post describes but i am hoping that one day you will look back at it and get some laughs from it. or at least let this serve as a warning to you!!

when i first got pregnant oh the plans i had! i was bound and determined to have the perfect pregnancy and to raise my child ... how shall i say it? perfectly is the right word i think ( read: make your own baby food and use cloth diapers). but more than that, i wanted to have this baby in style and simplicity, dispense with the unnecessary and tacky (read: modern crib and no cartoon figures on any accessories.). of course, most of all i wanted to make sure my child got all of the things that would nurture him in the best ways. (read: wooden non-toxic toys) and i thought, "i am OLD, 42 when he was born, i can do this right because i am wise and experienced and patient." all my friends told me it was a lofty goal, i should just make it easy on myself (read disposable diapers and food from jars) and now i see they were right. mostly.

the pregnancy. i said i would eat pristinely. perfect whole grain, vegetable and fruit filled diet for my unborn babe. ha! nobody tells you about the strong sugar/carb cravings. (there's actually a lot of stuff nobody tells you but there's probably a reason for that.). i ate ben and jerry's phish food, half pint a day. i had several glasses of wine during the pregnancy. also it was hard/impossible to ignore the del taco beef and cheese burrito cravings. some people i talked to craved fruit. lucky them.

next let's go on the the actual birth. i said i would not have an epidural. i did not have an epidural!! oh right, so that is not what this post is about. but i kind of wanted to brag. i stuck to my guns with some things.

ok back on track now that you are impressed.

i said i would not send out pictures of my son on birth announcement or holiday card. i also said i would not put him in little costumes. here is evidence of the way i dispensed with both of those resolutions in one fell swoop. oh -- resolutions get it? new year's?


he looks pissed.

excuse me henry is crying. be right back...

ok the world's cutest baby is asleep. (language i never thought i would use.)

i did not want to take a lot of professional pictures of henry as a newborn. it's so cliche and they look so squishy and funny anyway. all of those pictures of toes and hands? ick. and i now regret it. it's the only thing i said i would not do and now regret. for some reason the newborn stage was much more delicious than i thought it would be. i wish i had more pics of his little teeny hands and feet, god help me. probably because it was my own child? the photographer came to our room at the hospital and i said no thanks. we took a lot of iphone pics because you can send them right out but they are such bad quality i realized duh. witness the grainy iphone pic:

maybe pass this off as arty?

*** do i even need to mention the fact that i said i would never go around showing people pics of henry? it's not my fault, it's apple's. they make it really easy to be an obnoxious jerk. flip flip flip flip thru the phone. here's my dog. here's my dog again. here's my baby.

plastic baby shit as my friend sarah calls it. i was not going to have any of it in my house. none. first of all, it's bad for the environment to buy this junk and then use it for the 3 months anything lasts in baby world. secondly it's hideously ugly. and three i want henry to have all educational toys made of sustainable non-toxic finished wood that stimulate his creativity and enable his (my) plan to win the nobel peace prize. here's one of the first times i broke my rule.

ew.

this thing is so bright and tacky and it sits right in the middle of our living room. so i let him bat around at those scary looking plastic thingys while i made lunch or peed. i let my babygroup friends tell me it was developmentally helpful to let him have something at which to aim and to practice grabbing. a few times i would come back to him and find him with a frightened look on his face. that star thing with the face in the middle was scaring him i think. i mean look at all of that STUFF on that thing. i now know that ikea has something similar that is cheaper and much less frightening. fyi.

other gross stuff that ended up in my house:
-an ugly plastic swing
-a really ugly plastic chair lounger thingy with music and an underwater theme. also scares him. maybe because the batteries are dying and it sounds now like a scary movie soundtrack. underwater.
-a rock and play sleeper. whatever that means
-an upholstered nursing glider. not ugly but remember i said simple and it's the recession, we are supposed to be cutting back. or it was the recession anyway.
-a bunch of plastic toys. only one that talks and lights up. so far.
-one of those awful foam padding floor square mats. you know the ones that seem stylish but ARE REALLY NOT.
-a pack and play. you won't even know what this is if you don't have a kid. it's not that interesting. don't bother to find out what it is.

other evidence of weakness:

-the baby monitor. seemed extravagant but just wait to see how paranoid you are with your first child. you will need to check his breathing every five minutes.
-the mirror in the back seat so i can see his face. see above paranoia.
-two strollers. apparently this is not a lot. i don't care. i think it is a lot.
-disposable diapers -- but only at night!
-the crib bumper. you aren't even supposed to have these, they may not even be safe!!
-oh, and the pacifier. a sign of weakness on baby's part, i used to think. but they are born with the strongest urge to suck! my boobs could not handle it. if you aren't there yet, you'll see...

may i list my prouder moments?

-cloth diapers
-still exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months despite some hard times with it.
-his wardrobe is not extravagant. could be much much worse.
-we have a lot of the "stuff" we have because of hand me downs.
-a lot of his clothing is from a second hand store. it's called grow kid grow in silverlake and it's really great. recommended for l.a. mommies.
-babywearing him sometimes, trying for more.
-i have stuck to my guns and had the pediatrician give him his shots on a sloooooooow schedule. despite strong peer pressure and nurse ratchet at the office.
-i have been seeing all of my friends! keeping in touch. we have had several dinner parties. of course if you get an invite from us, i hope you like pizza.

this whole experience has been humbling, as are all big life experiences i guess. i felt this way too when i got engaged and when i got married. i realized i was a crappy friend to my friends who had been through these milestones before me. somehow i just could not know what it's like and respect the other person's experience until it happened to me. my friend who recently lost her father said that experience is the same, you just can't imagine how it feels until it happens. so now, when i see another mother (which by the way is really cool, all or at least lots of moms see each other and kind of nod. acknowledging the fellow warrior), i feel the respect. even if she has a bunch of ugly plastic shit all over the place, bad outfits, screaming kid and ten different strollers. well, ok, i judge a little. but really a lifetime of judging can't go away overnight.

and really, the reason i gave in to the things i strongly did not want to do or have? this love i have for this little guy, it's overwhelming. so much so that when the hormones were still going crazy right after he was born, i would cry to see his foot at night and think "where have you been all my life?" oh boy. not the mimi i know. the new mimi cries folding laundry because he is growing out of his onesies. i have to say it's a new, kinder mimi. i don't think i can blame the hormones any more. i like the new mimi though. (thank goodness).

the reason for the new mimi: henry


(Photos by Mimi at Not a Bride Yet)

You can check out more from Mimi (because hopefully she's going to post more, right, Mimi???) at Not a Bride Yet. Tomorrow, I'll be back with a Friday dance! That's right, an actual Friday dance! See you then!

Guest Blogger: Kiara King

Once again, we have a guest blogger today, Kiara King, who blogs in two places now: Henry Reigns (her former wedding planning blog) and her newest design inspiration blog titled simply, Kiara King. Kiara is beautiful (what I wouldn't kill for gorgeous, red hair like that!) and had a beautiful wedding last fall. You may remember that I posted about it. Her wedding was so thoughtful and hand-crafted that I couldn't resist asking her to post something. I gave her the choice of posting a reflection on being married or something design-related. She chose a combination of the both. I was reading her post after she sent it to me and was so flattered to think that she incorporated something I did in my wedding into hers! I had no idea! Here, she talks about the all important splurge for your wedding (and how to make it fabulous and fun): the photobooth. Enjoy!

Hands down the best thing we spent money on for our wedding was our photographer Emma Case, who has given us a beautiful set of pictures to remember the day by and they still give us a warm fuzzy feeling when we look through them 5 months later. As well as knowing we would be getting beautiful photographs we were delighted to get Emma as our photographer because she does a cracking photobooth.

When I first started looking for stuff for the wedding, there weren't that many UK photographers doing photobooths so this was a real bonus and our friends took to the concept pretty quickly. Knowing that we were going to have a photobooth, I wanted to DIY some props for it and hopefully the background, but had to think of something that would fit in our cars for the 3 hour journey to the venue and that we would be able to put together easily.

The props were easy enough with the use of lots of foam board, felt and kebab sticks we created beards (in honour of John's beard which contrary to a lot of peoples' suggestions he wasn't shaving off just for the wedding!) and bought up mini chalkboards from the pound shop, The star of the show however was Henry our huge ginger maine coon cat.

Now although Henry is a big part of our wee family we weren't ever going to go to some of the lengths mentioned here to include our pet in our wedding, especially after he looked so
miserable wearing a potential wedding bow tie, but we did want some kind of mention of him on the day. Fortunately Marty saved the day when I saw the props she created of her pets,
particularly Zuzu. I knew a giant Henry head would be perfect and it was as shown by
Henry rocking out here.

To make this prop I had to follow the cat around the kitchen for a bit to get some good head shots and then cropped and enlarged them on my computer using photoscape and printed them onto photopaper at home, cut them out and stuck them to some white foam board. This was way
easier than my first idea of getting a lifesize cut-out made and I didn't have to look like a crazy cat lady in public.

More shots of Henry in action here, here, and here.

When it came to the background, I initially had great ideas for stapling lots of crepe paper to mdf board and creating a smileboothesque experience, but I quickly realised that was not going to happen. Instead we ran with the penguin books theme that we'd used for our invitations, save the dates and thank you cards and bought these fantastic pack of 100 penguin postcards of book jackets and clipped them together with lomo fotoclips, which, in the end, gave us a colourful and easy-to-hang background!

Hopefully, this inspires some of you brides-to-be! I have to agree with Kiara, too, that the photobooth we got from Photobooth Express, and the money we spent on our photographer, Theresa Scarbrough, was by far the best money we spent! You can check out Kiara's internet obsessions at Kiara King. Check back tomorrow for the final installation of guest bloggers!

Guest Blogger: Crabs & Coconut (plus a little shrimp)

When I first started blogging, I had two readers. They appeared out of nowhere, and I was so happy to have them. We sort of became a little threesome. We commented on each others' blogs, kept up with what we were doing, and basically stalked each other. One day, I was heartbroken when I went to one of the blogs, Crabs & Coconuts, and saw that Sommer, the blogger, had written a post saying that she and her fiance were calling off their wedding, and saying she was going to take down the blog. For months, I checked back, hoping the blog would magically re-appear. It didn't. Over the past two years, Sommer has commented on my blog, but I never knew what happened. The other day, I reconnected with her, and asked her if she would mind being a guest blogger this week. I'm happy to tell you she said yes, and wrote this lovely post about how her life has changed. Enjoy!

Almost two years ago, my significant other and I (sorry, I'm too old to say boyfriend, lol) were planning to get married. We set the date, picked the place, even started a zany blog about the impending trip down the aisle. Then, six months before we dipped in the marriage pool, we imploded. And not imploded in a carefully organized way, but pure and utter chaos and destruction!

I moved out of the home we shared for the past four years (we've been together for 10 years or so), went to therapy, lost about 30 pounds (the highlight of the implosion), stopped teaching, and just stopped everything. I did pick up hanging out with my girlfriends more often (girlfriend is okay to say at ANY age lol).

Then the dreaded wedding day loomed in the distance. What was I going to do but stay home in my room like a shut-in. NO NO NO! I had had enough.

It was time to get on with the business of living. That quote from Shawshank Redemption stuck in my head one night. A few months later, we reconnected and tried to work things out. We even went to therapy and a fun filled trip to Mexico. Eventually, we got back together...let me stop lying, we got back together right after the wedding date, and picked up like things never stopped.

There were many lessons learned in that short time. I learned A LOT about myself, men, and that life happens, whether you participate or sit on the sidelines! Today, we have moved past the past and have a little shrimp added to the crazy mix. She is now three months old, and I simply can't imagine life without her. Even though my days are now filled with pee, poo, vomit, boogers, baby books, and baby music, I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

So, what have I taken away from the craziness of the past two years? I've learned to take life as it comes and try not to control everything around me and just ENJOY life! Granted these lessons took a long time to learn, it's worth it in the end, as I can pass on my lessons learned to the little one.

P.S. Life DOESN'T actually end like I thought when you have kids! We take her to happy hour (oh the horror), brunch, dinner. I sometimes go to the gym and leave her home with Coconut...we take her EVERYWHERE we go!

Thanks again, Sommer! I still miss your voice! And I'm still encouraging you to come back to the blogging side (it's like the dark side, but better)!

Guest Blogger: Musing on Beauty

So there are actually two big surprises for this week! The first is that our wedding is being featured on A Practical Wedding today! Yay!! You can head there to check it out! I am super psyched since I wrote the post a while back, but only recently got brave enough to submit it.

The second surprise is that I've asked a number of blogger friends to guest blog while I'm in sunny Florida. First up is Mariella at Musing on Beauty. Since I discovered her blog, Mariella (or Ms. Musing, which I secretly call her in my head) has become my go to site for all things makeup and beauty related. When I asked her to guest blog, she prefaced her response by saying, "You know I'm not a professional makeup artist, right?" I do, but as it turns out, we don't need a professional makeup artist, just a beauty guru, who knows about all things makeup. I've asked Mariella to give some tips for how to look great on your wedding day. For those of us who are already married, or those of us who are still single, we will apply these tips to, you know every day. Pays to look hot, ladies. (Seriously...ask Angelina Jolie.) Enjoy today's post!


Even though I’m single, I’ve learned a lot about bridal makeup. Hey, makeup is makeup, so I’m interested. Plus, I don’t know how many weddings I’ve been to these past years, and the makeup of the bride is always the second thing I have a look at (the first being the dress). So I was really excited when Marty asked me if I could write a post on the subject, and I hope it’s going to be helpful for you.

Now, when it comes to makeup for your big day, my number one recommendation would be to have a professional makeup artist do your makeup, if you can afford it. Not that doing it yourself is impossible, but you’re going to be nervous and having someone taking care of you for half an hour is relaxing, plus that will be something you won’t need to worry about. If you choose not to hire a makeup artist, all the information below still applies, so make sure you’re taking it into account when planning on what makeup to wear.

When choosing your makeup artist, make sure that you get to see their portfolio of bridal makeups and also that you like their work. Also, you will need at least one trial session, because it is really important to make sure you are both on the same page for the big day. You will need to give your makeup artist information, such as what the wedding theme or colors are, what colors are the bridesmaids going to wear, etc. These are all important factors on deciding what makeup to do. For example, if everything from the flowers to bridesmaids' dresses are lavender toned, you don’t want to wear coral makeup that would totally clash with everything around you. Make sure everything stays within either warm tones or cooler tones, or stick with very neutral colors that won’t clash with anything. If you’re not hiring a makeup artist, another thing you can do is to book an appointment at a counter like Bobbi Brown or Mac, and have an artist create a look for you and write it down, as well as the products recommendation. This is often reasonably priced and sometimes the price can be redeemed in products, so that’s a great deal and it can be helpful.

If you plan on being (fake-) tanned for the wedding, make sure you are the same level of tan when having your trial, because your skin tone obviously has a big influence on the shades the artist will be using. (And, a little tip, rushing to the tanning beds 2 days before your wedding is ALWAYS a BAD idea, I’ve seen a few lobster-red brides and even grooms and that is not a pretty look). Also, make sure you wear a top the same color as your dress (cream, white etc...), as that also has a big influence on how much color you will need in order not to look washed out.

If you’re going to do the makeup yourself, practice it several times so recreating it feels like a piece of cake on D-Day. If you plan on wearing false lashes, but aren’t used to them, practice putting them on AND wearing them a whole day. Getting used to them can take some time; you don’t want your wedding day to be the first time you wear them.

After trials, take lots of pictures both in natural daylight and inside with flash so you can really judge if the makeup you’re trying will look good. After all, the pictures are still going to be there decades after your wedding, so it’s in those pictures that your makeup needs to look its best! Speaking of which, I would say there are a few rules you really need to follow so you won’t feel like hiding in shame when seeing the wedding pictures:

1. Be yourself! If you usually don’t wear much makeup, don’t go overboard with it because it’s your wedding day. You need to look like a better version of yourself, not like a technicolor nightmare. And if you’ve been wearing black liner and false lashes on a daily basis for all your adult life, not wearing them would make you look odd to everyone who knows you. So by all means do incorporate these items in your wedding makeup even if you use them in a slightly different way.

2. Be timeless! Forget about following this year’s catwalk trends. When looking at wedding pictures, you shouldn’t be able to tell when they were taken, and trendy makeup (and hair!) will already look dated in a couple of years. One of my favorite wedding pictures ever is this one of Grace Kelly, because you could wear the exact same makeup today and still look modern.

3. This is the one day in your life where you should not wear SPF. That’s because physical sunscreens reflect light and produce a white cast on your skin when you’re being photographed with flash. Chemical sunscreens shouldn’t produce the same results, but if you’re not sure of what's in your product, just avoid SPF altogether. So no SPF in moisturizer, foundation, concealer or powder! No mineral powder foundation either! You don’t want to look like actress Blake Lively in this picture (whoever did her makeup should find another job): her face looks paler than her body, and all the spots that were concealed on her decolletage look whiter - that’s SPF flashing back the light.


So what should you be looking for when shopping for makeup products for your wedding? Aside from products containing SPF, you should also avoid anything with light reflecting properties, such as highlighters and concealers. A bit of highlighting is fine if it’s used on the right places, but certainly not all over the face or under the eyes. That means brightening powders or Touche Eclat type concealers are a big no-no.

It’s also a common misconception to think that all the so-called HD products are suitable for photography. These were developed to make you look flawless in front of a camera, but again, aren’t suitable for flash photography. Many celebrities have suffered from this misconception while being photographed on the red carpet. This, ladies, is HD silica powder flashing back the light and making poor Nicole Kidman look like an addict.


Note: most HD foundations, like the Makeup For Ever one, do look good in pictures. It’s mainly the powder that causes issues. What you do want to use are products that will be A. adapted for your skin type and B. long lasting. If you’re oily, make sure you use a mattifying primer underneath your makeup, and a matte foundation. If you’re dry, make sure you have moisturized and primed your skin properly. Choose a mascara and a liner that are waterproof. You may also want to use a sealing product like Benefit She-Laqu; a lot of makeup artist use this on brides so that their makeup won’t move.

Don’t think that putting on a lot of makeup will make it last longer; it’s the opposite that's true. Thin layers that are well blended into the skin will last much longer, so skip anything that isn’t necessary. Use primer alone and no moisturizer underneath, use the smallest possible amount of foundation and build it only where it’s needed etc... You can also ask one of your bridesmaids to keep your powder and lipstick with her so you can touch these up after you’ve been kissing hundreds of people.

To close this already very long post, I’d like to talk about color choices. As I said above, making sure you don’t clash with the theme of the wedding is one rule, but I’d like to add one more: beware of pink on the eyes. Pink is often used for weddings. A lot of brides ask for pink eye makeup because it looks soft and romantic and it’s not going to shock their great-aunties when they meet. Still, I do find that pink isn’t flattering on anybody, particularly if you haven’t slept enough or if you cry. Pink can enhance the redness of your eye area and make you look sick. So I would recommend staying away from anything pink or plummy, which can make you look bruised. Instead, choose soft lavenders and cool-toned golds, for example, if you need to wear cool tones. Save the pink for your lips, if you do want to wear some. Also, make sure that your body and your face are the same color, particularly if you have a summer wedding and a lot of your skin is going to be visible. You can use a waterproof body foundation on the outside part of your arms and on your back or even legs to hide discoloration, veins or blemishes and look even. Ask your bridesmaids to help you with that if you’re doing your own makeup.

Here are some useful links:
Best bridal makeup video
Dry Skin bridal makeup
Oily Skin bridal makeup
Summer Rose Bride by Lisa Eldridge (suitable for hot days)

Foundations that are known to look good in photographs (even though some do contain SPF): anything by Chanel (Mat Lumiere, Pro Lumiere etc), Guerlain Parure Extreme, Makeup For Ever HD (liquid foundation, NOT powder), Makeup For Ever Face&Body, Mac Face&Body, Revlon Color Stay or Photo Finish.

Hope this was helpful!

- Mariella

For more beauty tips, product reviews, and featured looks (which are my favorite!) go to Musing on Beauty.

And if you joined us from A Practical Wedding, welcome! I hope you'll come back soon. I'll be back to my regularly scheduled blogging this Friday!

Vacaciones

Well, I almost made it five days! Sadly, something a little nuts happened yesterday and today that made me angry, depressed, and tired almost all at the same time. So I didn't blog. I tweeted a bit, though. I've been trying to do that more, but it's kind of hard. I need to get better about doing it from my phone.

Anyway, we both need a vacation, so we're taking one. We're going to Florida to visit A.P.'s family. That's not exactly what I call a vacation, though I know A.P. is excited. Still, this trip I put my foot down and said that I just wanted to do one thing, just the two of us. So we're going to Orland for one day and one night. That means cheesy resort hotel, laying poolside, and Disney World, which I've never been to. I'm semi-excited.

I haven't done laundry in forever, and I started to get worried I wouldn't really have fun clothes, so I spent an insane amount of money on a ton of new clothes this week. I shipped them fast, and now I'm wearing them in Florida. So that's one good thing about this trip to Florida: gives me an excuse to buy inexpensive spring separates.

Here's what I'm packing:

1.

2.


3.


4.


5.



6.



7.



8.



9.

These I bought but didn't pack. Fun spring wear, nevertheless.

10.


11.

12.


13.



14.

I promise to take lots of pictures and post them sooner rather than later. I also have a special surprise in store for you next week. I'm super excited to share it with you, so make sure you come back!

Have a great weekend!

(1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 12, 13, & 14 from Old Navy; 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, & 11 from American Eagle's Aerie Line))

Garden Planning

A little gardening inspiration

So, I've never really talked about this, but part of my job involves gardening. It normally doesn't, but I sort of volunteered myself for gardening services. Then, I applied and won a huge grant for said gardening services. So now, I have to perform said gardening services and do it well. I've been putting in a lot of hours gardening up a storm. I have access to a greenhouse. It's all pretty awesome.

But there's a lot I don't know. I've never gardened in a greenhouse, after all. Nor have I had land in which to grow a vegetable garden. I have that now, too. It's all a bit overwhelming, but I love it. I just wish I had more time to do it. In the summer, when work is a bit slower, I'll have more time to putter around and take my sweet time out there. As is, I'm putting about six extra hours of work a week into this project.

See? That's part of why A.P. took me to the Conservatory for our anniversary. So that I could get inspired for my own greenhouse. And inspired I got. This past Saturday, all I did was research gardening. It was awesome! I learned so much, and am excited to try out what I've learned, but I still have so much to learn.

So far, I am growing the following:

- Watermelons
- Corn
- Yellow and Green Summer Squash
- Cherry Tomatoes
- Green Zebra Tomatoes
- Carving Pumpkins
- Little Jack Pumpkins (the tiny ones you buy with your gourds each fall)
- Strawberries
- Cucumbers
- Various herbs
- Various flowers
- Mesclun Greens
- Four Seasons Lettuce

That's only what I've started inside. I'm also planning to grow some other veggies and sunflowers. It's going to be very interesting to see my successes and failures, but I keep telling everyone this is my trial year to see what we can do with the land/resources. Next year, I can learn from my mistakes.


Here are some interesting things I learned that I'm going to try out, as well as some photos of my seedlings. The seedlings are actually much, much bigger now. I will try and post updates, especially closer to summer.

How to Build a Cold Frame
How to Grow Lettuce in a Greenhouse
How to Turn Storage Containers into Self-Watering Tomato Planters
Hanging Gutter Garden

and the coolest one...the one I'm most definitely going to try to do this year:

How to Grow 100 pounds of potatoes in 4 Square Feet

And here are the seedlings...

Right after planting:


About one week later:



African Violet, right after watering:Boredom:


(Gardening Inspiration Photo via Pintrest)

Sweet Wedding

It's been a long, long time since I posted a wedding. I happened onto this adorable wedding via StumbleUpon, and fell in love with its woodsy wonderfulness!

(Photos by Sergio Mottola)