tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post8240016349707478426..comments2023-03-25T04:40:55.210-05:00Comments on <strike>Not</strike> The Marrying Kind...: Marriage Mondays: DivorceMarty J. Christopherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01368924576964912226noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post-35101522009125221902012-02-18T16:04:15.290-06:002012-02-18T16:04:15.290-06:00I don't think keeping money separate is a good...I don't think keeping money separate is a good idea and my partner and I fight about it all the time. He and his ex-wife has separate accounts... and then, well, they divorced. I'm not saying that there is an absolute if/then causation here, but I do think that when you think like a single person, that can take a toll on a relationship in ways you don't see. Being completely committed to someone, in my book, means that you are committed in the really, really tough areas-- money being on of those tough areas. God, I HATE fighting about money-- but it forces me to think about what's really important and for me, self-sacrifice and self-giving are what is really important. Not security and what ifs. BUT, I totally respect where you are coming from and I get why you want to keep money separate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post-82840011528876213302012-01-09T21:19:58.954-06:002012-01-09T21:19:58.954-06:00I agree that divorce can be avoided, but statistic...I agree that divorce can be avoided, but statistically there is a high likelihood that our marriage could end in divorce, a statistic that increases dramatically because we are both the product of divorce. For us, and quite possibly because we saw our parents divorce, it's important to not only talk about it, but prepare for it. And when I say prepare for it, I mean in the same way that you prepare for the possibility of your electricity going out. You've got things set up and you understand it could happen, but more than likely it won't. I honestly don't think A.P. and I will divorce. I see us in it for the long haul, but marriage is no easy road. People change and grow in ways you can't foresee and it's best to understand that and be prepared for its possibility that sometimes those changes mean the end of a relationship. Honestly, though, our rule is that divorce is not an option. I just think it's important, for women especially to have those uncomfortable conversations with their spouses and to set themselves up financially so that they are prepared for the worst.Marty J. Christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01368924576964912226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post-57055324827423231642012-01-09T07:24:46.640-06:002012-01-09T07:24:46.640-06:00I am not a child of divorce. I haven't seen a ...I am not a child of divorce. I haven't seen a divorce in my family. But I have already seen lots of people from my generation, and some of my friends getting divorced. Some had married really too young to their high school sweethearts, which I feel is a highway to hell. Some had met their significant other at an adult age, had had kids, yet it didn't work out.<br />I have enough examples that divorce can be avoided, and is not the only possible conclusion. If we have realistic expectations about our partner and marriage, then this must be doable. On the other hand, I do think a lot of this, and wonder how we can cope with the way we change in life without becoming strangers. Not easy, not easy. I think, though, that keeping some things and some money separate is a good option for the reasons you explained.Musing on Beautyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07594192030035675016noreply@blogger.com