tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post4048836012140512124..comments2023-03-25T04:40:55.210-05:00Comments on <strike>Not</strike> The Marrying Kind...: Marriage Mondays: What Constitutes CheatingMarty J. Christopherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01368924576964912226noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post-56387011757747211312011-10-17T17:41:39.088-05:002011-10-17T17:41:39.088-05:00I can wholeheartedly say I agree with all three of...I can wholeheartedly say I agree with all three of you. I purposely sort of played devil's advocate in my post (though, I think I made it clear I'm not a fan of any of this behavior, right? Because I was pretty annoyed by the whole thing and my brother's response to it.), but I think any of that behavior is bad, bad, bad. Whether or not it counts as cheating is probably another story, but honestly, I just find the whole thing to be so disrespectful. And that for me is the defining factor. <br /><br />Heck, we didn't even talk about Random Broad and that crappy, crappy behavior. : )Marty J. Christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01368924576964912226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post-7867690520014898872011-10-17T15:01:24.141-05:002011-10-17T15:01:24.141-05:00I'm of the "you know it when you see it&q...I'm of the "you know it when you see it" camp. That is, although some things are in a little bit of a grey area (light flirting, flirty texts) you should know when you've crossed the line. I do agree with Jennie and MOB: if there's romantic interest and you and the other person broach the subject, you're probably getting pretty close to the line UNLESS you're pretty explicit about your monogamy with your current partner. I don't know, though. Like I said, you should know it when you see it- and if you're hiding something from your partner, there is probably something wrong.Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10121429564505659418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post-72698324140582885082011-10-17T14:35:02.228-05:002011-10-17T14:35:02.228-05:00Such a complicated question! I disagree with the f...Such a complicated question! I disagree with the fact that there's no cheating if you don't get caught, I however understand that not being caught and not confessing means your partner won't be hurt. And honestly, people who confess just to get rid of the guilty feeling just bring sadness and misery to their partner and I don't thing that's good, but I digress.<br />I think the biggest question here is: where does cheating begin. I have a couple of male friends who are married but flirt with me occasionally. I think it's nothing but an ego boost for them and for me, as long as in the end, they don't have feelings for me and they share the things in their life with their wives, not with me. As Jennie said, next to the deeds, the romantic interest is key. If you fall in love with someone else and think about cheating, or fantasize about the other person when being intimate with your partner, is that ok because you didn't act towards the other person? I don't think so. (Now I'm very much aware we don't always have control over those things). If you feel the need to hide things from your partner, then something is wrong.<br /><br />Those situations can happen, but it's the way we react that makes the difference. If we follow our so-called heart and forget about our brain, we wil eventually be in trouble. Feeling attraction is not our fault, doing a bit of flirting is harmless, what makes a difference if wether or not we chose our partner again, every day, and accept that all the other fishes in the sea aren't a possibility anymore. Since I'm not in a relationship right now, I'm gonna try and give some perspective from another side. <br /><br />One of my male friends, he can be super flirty with me, but once, a long time ago, we had this conversation and he told me this: "I like you, you're totally my type and the guy you'll chose will be lucky and happy; if I were available, I'd date you in a minute. But I'm married, I love my wife, and I chose to not do anything ever that would destroy what we are building together, so I'l never ever act upon the fact that I like you".<br />If I were his wife, I'd be fine with that. She knows him enough to know I'm his type and she knows him enough to be sure she can trust him and doesn't need to worry about out friendship. If he were hiding my existence from her, or if he had never said anything about how he feels, things would be on the fence because it would all be unclear, But since everything is very clear, there's no harm. At least I don't think so.<br /><br />Whatever you're hiding, it's the hiding part that shows you're on the wrong track, IMO, and you need to do whatever it takes to not have anything to hide anymore.<br /><br />(Geesh, what a ramble, I hope that makes sense!)Musing on Beautyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07594192030035675016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8902153394142261211.post-14419601403667894452011-10-17T13:19:04.171-05:002011-10-17T13:19:04.171-05:00In my book, if you are expressing repeated and ver...In my book, if you are expressing repeated and verbalized romantic interest in someone else, you are cheating, because you are (even if temporarily) WANTING to be with someone else. So if that chick in the next office over is brutally hot and you bring up a threesome, that's pretty close to the line. If you start texting her to tell her you're thinking about a threesome with her, that is over the line in my book. However, I know I have VERY strict standards that not everyone agrees are realistic. But I would be VERY upset to find out my love was sending someone dirty texts.Steven Tyler's PJshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03910018891138541973noreply@blogger.com